While we’re trying to avoid talking directly about the current pandemic, there’s no doubt COVID-19 is clearly crushing careers. Gretchen Rubin helps us ensure we can still be productive during this time. Also, Dorie Clark joins us to talk a teenager through coming out as gay a non-supportive environment. We have a lot happening here on Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn’t already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- If you’re wondering how to come out as gay when you’re 13 and surrounded by non-supportive family and friends who might distance themselves because of their religious beliefs, Dorie Clark‘s got some wisdom to impart.
- As a freelancer, how do you get more remote-work contracts instead of onsite offers during the COVID-19 coronavirus crisis?
- Is your ADHD to blame for taking on more work than you can possibly handle, and does your imposter syndrome make you try too hard, or is there something else at play here?
- Your recently graduated girlfriend needs to get a job, move out of her parents’ house, and become independent to make progress, but she doesn’t seem particularly motivated even when there’s not a global pandemic to navigate around. How can you be encouraging without nagging?
- You had a great job interview lined up, and then COVID-19 struck. How can you stay on the radar to have a leg up when things have calmed down and it’s time to meet your prospective employer — without coming off as too needy?
- How has fatherhood changed Jordan? Have new curiosities developed, and does he wish he could ask past guests different questions now?
- Your dementia-suffering mother’s caregiver seems to be getting double-paid — once by you and once by your mother. She does good work, but it’s bothering you. What’s the least awkward way to clear up the matter?
- Is COVID-19 crushing careers? Clearly. Outer Order, Inner Calm author Gretchen Rubin can help us remain productive during these weird times.
- Life Pro Tip: If you have an iPhone, you can set defined times when “do not disturb” mode goes on. Then you only get calls from your favorites and when they call you three times consecutively. It also works when you connect to a car for phone calls and prevents you from getting notifications while driving.
- Recommendation of the Week: The Tiger King
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at email@example.com!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
- Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, join his podcasting club, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
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THEOry with Theo Rossi (you may remember him as “Juice” from Sons of Anarchy) is a podcast for the Age of Authenticity with real talk, sacrifice and struggle, and the other side of glory. Check it out on PodcastOne or wherever you listen to fine podcasts!
Resources from This Episode:
- Six-Minute Networking
- Kevin Systrom | Life Lessons from an Instagram Founder Part One, TJHS 335
- Kevin Systrom | Life Lessons from an Instagram Founder Part Two, TJHS 336
- Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19), CDC
- The Trevor Project
- It Gets Better Project
- Mary Baldwin University
- Office 365
- Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), CDC
- Deep Dive | How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome, TJHS 127
- The Pomodoro Technique, Francesco Cirillo
- These Companies Are Actually Hiring During The Coronavirus Pandemic, HuffPost
- Adam Grant | How to Know the Real You Better, TJHS 153
- Jordan and Jen’s Baby Pictures
- Use Do Not Disturb on your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch, Apple
- How to Use Do Not Disturb While Driving, Apple
- Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness by Gretchen Rubin
- The Tiger King, Netflix
Transcript for COVID Clearly Crushing Careers | Feedback Friday (Episode 337)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:03] Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host Jordan Harbinger, and I'm here with producer Jason DeFillippo. On The Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most brilliant people, and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. If you're new to the show, on Fridays we give advice to you and answer listener questions. The rest of the week, we have long-form interviews and conversations with a variety of amazing folks from spies to CEOs, athletes to authors, to thinkers and performers.
[00:00:31] And this week, we had Kevin Systrom, founder of Instagram. We had a great chat about futurism, social media, what you do when you've made $1 billion and you actually want to make a difference in the world. He's very sharp and accessible. So you'll dig this one, whether you're interested in business, the media landscape, or not at all interested, but just like smart conversations.
[00:00:50] I also write every so often in the blog. The latest post is about why your network is the best insurance policy that money cannot buy. And I think a lot of people, according to my inbox, a lot of people have learned that lesson the hard way now that we're in this coronavirus lockdown because a lot of people got laid off right before this. Jason, I'm sure you heard that. A ton of people got laid off like, the Friday before everyone was going to work from home. And what I found ironic/sad was a lot of folks who told me, "I don't really need to do Six-Minute Networking. I'm naturally good at networking," are now like, "Hey, do you know where I can find a job?" And I'm like, "Reach out to all of this network that you're so naturally good at making and maintaining." And they're like, "Uh, I kind of only knew my people at work and in my industry." Well --
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:29] Well, they've got lots of time right now to check out Six-Minute Networking.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:32] Yeah, have a lot of time to do the course. Didn't really dig the well before you got thirsty. You dug a hole. It looked like a well, but there was no water in it. Oops.
[00:01:40] So of course, our primary mission here on The Jordan Harbinger Show is to pass along our guests' and our own insights and experience along to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you, and that's what we're going to do today and every Friday here on Feedback Friday. I just want to place one brick in the structure that makes up your life. That's really what this podcast is about. You can reach us firstname.lastname@example.org.
[00:02:05] Now we're not talking about coronavirus. A lot of people are like, "Why aren't you talking about this?" Or, "Thanks for not talking about this." We're not talking about coronavirus that much really, because I don't want to spread fear. I don't want to spread drama. There's plenty of that already. Also, I'd only give you vetted and accurate information, which takes time. I've got to fact check it. I'm no expert. I'm definitely not a doctor. By the time I get into the information and vet it and record it and release it, you've either gotten it somewhere else already or it's, you know, two weeks old. So you can get that stuff anywhere, but you can only get what we do best from us here. So we're just focusing on what we do best and breaking news ain't it. And I don't want to be one of those people who's like, "Oh, you know, there's a cure and it's this random pill? Oh, turns out it's untested." I mean, all that stuff is garbage. If you want that, you can literally look at every other website on the Internet and half of the podcasts. So to those asking us why we're not talking about this, that's why. It's not to say we won't do a show with an expert or two. But I don't know, Jason, how much of this do we need? That's my question. I feel like I'm getting this 24/7. Maybe people listen to us because they don't want to freaking hear about this stuff anymore.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:10] Yeah. You can't turn the TV on without hearing about a 24/7, so let's do something different.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:16] What's the first thing out of the mailbag?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:18] Hey, guys, I have a pretty big problem and I don't know what to do. I'm having conflicting feelings about coming out as a lesbian. I think that I might be gay, but I have lots of close Christian friends that I would lose if I came out as a lesbian. They wouldn't be able to be my friends because of their religious beliefs, and they have told me this multiple times. My parents are also quite traditional and I'm not sure how they would react either. Despite having one or two close gay friends, I would lose many friendships because of this. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this, considering I'm only 13, but I don't know what to do or how to do it. It might sound stupid, but I feel scared and worried a lot of the time because of this and I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Many thanks. Confused About Coming Out.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:02] This question is tricky for me. Obviously, I am no expert in this area, so I brought in my friend Dorie Clark.
[00:04:09] Dorie, at some point, you had to come out to your friends and family and tell them that you were gay. And I can imagine that was scary and not an easy feat.
Dorie Clark: [00:04:16] Well, a few thoughts for your listener. Number one, one advantage that she has that I did not -- coming out in the early '90s -- is, of course, the Internet. And so it sounds like if she is a Jordan Harbinger Show listener, she's probably pretty conversant with all of this, but there's a couple of really important online resources that are useful for anyone, but especially a teenager coming out. One is The Trevor Project, which focuses on LGBT youth. It's thetrevorproject.org. And they offer a hotline where people who are looking to just talk to someone and get advice can call in, and they have a lot of great resources on their site. Another one is itgetsbetter.org, which is especially great. The truth is, it sucks in general to be a teenager, but especially being gay and being in an environment where that's not necessarily embraced can feel really isolating, and so "It Gets Better" is a project a few years ago where adults, including many gay celebrities, made videos talking about the fact that, "Yes, it was hard as a teenager, but things are a lot better as an adult," which is almost universally true.
[00:05:28] A second thing that I will mention is that I think sometimes the conversation around coming out often kind of evokes to people or implies coming out in a really big way. Coming out to everybody, marching in the pride parade, letting everybody know that you're gay. But I think something that gets overlooked sometimes is there are different stages and gradations of coming out. And so for this young woman, it's true. It sounds like she does need to come out to someone because she wants to talk about it and she's feeling confused and she wants some support, but that doesn't necessarily mean she needs to come out to everybody. So I think something to keep in mind is looking for a trusted friend, and it could be some combination of a friend your own age or an adult, maybe it is a teacher or a coach or an aunt or uncle that you know would be supportive that you can talk to about this. And the key thing would be to make sure, number one, that that person is really trusted, that you know that they will keep your confidence. And number two, that they have your back. That they're someone who is supportive of LGBT issues and that they're going to be nice to you because you need someone to be supportive and be nice to you in this process.
[00:06:45] A third thing to keep in mind, and this might be hard depending -- in my school, I grew up in a small town in North Carolina, the school that I went to, we had 20 kids in my grade. That was it. So it was a very limited social pool and I'm not sure if that's the case for you. But if it is bigger than that, you know, honestly, see if you can find some new friends, like you don't have to come out to start that process. You can actually begin looking around and finding other people in your school or in your community that are a little more open-minded so that before you reach the point -- if you do, of wanting to come out more widely -- that you will have a supportive base in place of friends that are okay and we'll be accepting of you.
[00:07:25] Another element that might be useful here is to begin to try to get a little bit more of a sense of where your parents stand on this. In your message, you say that your parents are quite traditional and you're not sure how they would react, and it wasn't totally clear from your message whether it says despite having one or two close gay friends, I'm not sure if that means that you do or they do. Certainly, it would be a good sign if they had gay friends in their life. There's a lot of parents who, they may not be thrilled if their kid is gay, but if they're accepting enough that they have gay friends, then that's a good sign. You can begin to bring it up in sort of a little bit of a roundabout way without putting yourself out there. For instance, if there's an LGBT story in the news, you can just ask an innocent question. Just say, "Hey, you know, what do you think about this, Mom and Dad?" Get a take from them so that you just know what you're dealing with, that you have a sense of whether they may potentially be a little more understanding than you think. Or conversely, if you need to be really, really careful about what you share with them.
[00:08:35] And then finally, I would say something to keep in mind or think about at least, this may or may not be a possibility. Something that I did when I realized I was gay and was not going to have a great reception in my little town in North Carolina, is I actually conspired to leave, and so I ended up entering an early college program. They had one at Mary Baldwin University in Virginia that I went to, and I was able to cajole my parents into letting me go, because, you know, it's kind of a prestigious thing to go to college early, and I just knew that a college campus would be a more supportive place for me. So that was a possibility. If that hadn't have worked, I would have lobbied to go to boarding school or certain states have public magnet schools, like magnet boarding schools. Any of those are possibilities and they may get you into a more supportive environment. If that's not a possibility though, I mean, ultimately, online can be a great resource for you because there's a lot of places where you can begin to connect and make friends with people, perhaps on Facebook groups or different things that are around LGBT issues.
[00:09:41] So I am rooting for you. This is not easy, but you sound like a really mature and wise person. And even if the people around you are not supportive, it really does get better. They have 70,000 videos that have been sent in, and I think part of the reason for that is that so many LGBT adults feel this way, that growing up, you're often in kind of a powerless situation where you just have to deal with the values, some of which might be narrow-minded around you, but when you get to set your own agenda, when you get to be an adult and pick your own friends and pick your own circumstances, it is so inordinately satisfying, and you can really build a great life for yourself. So I'm really excited for you. I know it might not be easy now, but we're all rooting for you and cheering you on.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:10:33] Dorie, thank you so much. All right. What's next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:10:36] Hi, Triple J. Do you have any tips on how to get more remote work contracts instead of onsite offers? I'm a freelance IT consultant specializing in imaging, knowledge management, and tech support in Berlin, Germany. Despite corona restrictions, I keep getting offers for onsite work all over Germany, although I offer remote support on my website for a cheaper fee using TeamViewer, and many problems can be solved using VPN and cloud services like Azure, Office 365, Atlassian, et cetera. Yet I can't seem to change the German mentality about remote work. A lot of advice on the Web seems to be geared toward employees who want to convince their bosses to let them work remotely, but not a lot for freelancers. I'd appreciate any tips and hope you're all safe and healthy in these strange times. Regards, Rather Work Remote.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:11:20] Well, this is a problem that I think is likely to handle itself, actually. People are now seeing their own teams go remote by law, and so they're going to eventually realize that this is the new normal, at least for the time being. But in the meantime, until employers literally can't ask you to come in, there are a few options here.
[00:11:38] One, price your onsite work very high and your remote support much lower. It sounds like you're kind of already doing this. Then though, have an even a lower tier where you'll solve the problem remotely while an onsite employee "helps" you with this. This person who's onsite could be somebody who already works for the company. They won't need to do much. They'll just sit there while you work remotely using TeamViewer, but the manager, the decision-maker, might feel like more work is getting done since one of their people is actually sitting there. This way, you're still remote, but the decision-maker feels like something else is getting done.
[00:12:14] Now, if you don't really want to do that or those people aren't available, you can also make a middle tier -- so higher pricing than remote only -- where you send your own contractor to the company. So it'd be pretty much the same price as onsite except for you're hiring someone to go and sit there while you do it remotely. You got to have someone willing to do onsite, but they need to be trained and be personable. They don't necessarily need to know that much about the tech. All they can do then is sit there while you fix things and make sure that the client is happy. So you trained somebody who's just really nice and personable and maybe good at sales, and that person can go out and do it -- or good at customer service. This person could be young, friendly, professional. Here, you're pricing it higher so you can pay your other team member, but you yourself are still remote, so you're safe from all of the travel and all of the whatever you're afraid of out there.
[00:13:02] Again, I think eventually this problem will solve itself as people get used to new ways of doing things because they're forced to do that and everyone is working remotely. And if all else fails, just show up to their office in a full hazmat suit and maybe they'll get the point.
[00:13:15] All right. What's next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:16] Dear Jordan, how do you manage the sense of doing too much? I think I take on too many tasks because one, my very real diagnosis of ADHD -- I hate when people say, "Oh, it's my ADD," when they haven't been diagnosed -- and two, my insecurity/imposter syndrome. I feel like as a black male, I have to always prove myself, and so I say I can do everything to make up for the fact that maybe I'm not as confident as I appear. Sometimes this comes back to bite me in the ass, like overbooking myself, not performing at the top of my game, et cetera. I used to be able to handle a lot more volume, but since having two kids, I can't do as much. I wrote out a list of all the roles in my life, husband, father, colleague, podcast host, et cetera but that still doesn't help me slow down. I know burnout is real and I feel I'm on the brink of it, but I can't slow down now when all the things I want to accomplish in life are in my sights. I just recently started getting accolades at work for my high performance and it's addicting, but then I look back and I haven't been as present with my wife and kids as I should be. I just want to know how you manage this need to be great and do all the things and slow down at the same time. I need some guidance and advice on this. Sincerely, Mr. Doing Way Too Much.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:14:24] Well, maybe you're taking on too much because you're ADHD, but I know tons of people with ADHD and they don't have this problem, so that's not it. It might be a convenient sort of explanation, but having a temporary lapse in focus happens, happens to more people with ADHD and it happens to people without it. But what you're talking about is a lack of focus at the macro level. You're taking on too much because you don't have a plan of how to succeed in any one area, so you're just attracted to the next thing that gets your attention. I know tons of people that have ADHD that run businesses really well. They need an assistant to make sure they don't forget to call someone back and that they've got someone balancing their books, for example, or not forgetting a delivery and things like that, but that's ADHD or short attention span.
[00:15:08] But when you're talking about at a macro level, that's not a short attention span. That's you jumping from branch to branch because you don't know how to put your time in and focus. And also, look, man, the whole, "I'm ADHD," if you're an adult, it's long past time to find systems to cope with this. I'm not trying to seem unempathetic or unsympathetic here. But you really do need to find systems to cope with this. I know plenty of people that have ADHD -- and look, I'm not trying to compare your version to their version. They use to-do lists. They use calendars. They check those things all the time. They focus on that. They use Pomodoro timers so that they work in 20-minute bursts and they really focus on those and they work on their skills doing that. They change their job so that they're working outside more or whatever works for them. You really can't just say, "Oh, man, I've never succeeded because of ADHD." It's just not really how you get to do things these days as an adult. It works when you're a kid. It doesn't work when you're an adult with accountability.
[00:16:03] So it is interesting that overbooking is a self-fulfilling prophecy here. You're finding out that you're not showing up on time, you're not performing well. It sounds to me like you need to work on filtering opportunities. How do you know which opportunities will move a project or move a goal forward? I would say do this: plan out your entire year in advance. You pick out a small handful of major goals and milestones, maybe three to five. You order them by priority. Now, don't do the bottom two; disregard them entirely. Focus only on the top two or three priorities. If you get another opportunity that year that does not move these forward, say no and never think about it again. Don't rearrange, don't remake the list, don't drop what you're doing and jump on this other thing. No matter how shiny the object -- no matter how promising the opportunity sounds. Just say no and don't think about it. This isn't about slowing down. It's about getting things done so that you can move on to the next project or goal. It sounds like you're doing 10 percent of 10 different things, quitting and moving on to the next thing. You need to get 100 percent done with two or three things and then move on to the next thing. A fox that chases two rabbits catches none.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:17:14] This is Feedback Friday. We'll be right back after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:18] This episode is sponsored in part by BiOptimizers. Did you know your body houses around a hundred trillion bacteria cells? 100 trillion, which is a number I can't quite fathom. So it's no wonder keeping your gut microbiome in check is so important, but where do you start? If you suffer from bloating, gas, indigestion, or you just need extra protection from bad bacteria, then you need to make sure you have a well-balanced gut microbiome. It's important for digestive wellness. However, if you tip the scale in favor of the good guys, the good bacteria, your body will start pushing out the bad guys. So good bacteria is the answer. Unfortunately, millions of people are struggling with dysbiosis, meaning they have too much bad bacteria in the gut. Things like air and water pollution depleted soil that produces less nutritious food, a diet high in processed foods, prescription meds -- all that stuff can sometimes damage your balance of healthy gut bacteria. You can take a probiotic to boost the good bacteria in the gut, except a lot of probiotics available today are just not up to the task. Probiotics are living bacteria to populate your gut. They need to be alive when they arrived, so otherwise, they're just feeding the mostly bad bacteria that's already there. Jason.
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Jason DeFillippo: [00:20:20] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. And if you'd be so kind, please drop us a nice rating and review on iTunes or your podcast player of choice. It really helps us out and helps build the show family. If you want some tips on how to do that, head on over to jordanharbinger.com/subscribe. Now let's hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:20:46] All right, Jay, what's next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:20:48] Hey, J Crew. My girlfriend is graduating from college in May. She's done internships required by her school, so she has a few connections who have mostly said that they want her back, but they don't have any openings at the moment. I suggested applying at several other places and she says she will but hasn't followed through. This has been going on for months. She probably rightfully complains about living with her parents but seems unwilling to take this step to reduce her dependence on them. To make matters worse, not many places are actively interviewing or hiring with the COVID-19 crisis. I'm worried that this is just a sign of a lack of motivation and/or dependence. Do you have any tips on how to broach this topic without it seeming like I'm coming from a holier-than-thou place or trying to be antagonistic? I think that getting a job, moving out, and becoming independent is a very necessary step to have the relationship grow. Otherwise, we'll be stuck in this limbo. Lastly, do you have any advice on job hunting in the midst of a pandemic? Love the show. Sincerely, Confused with Graduating Girlfriend.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:21:44] Hard to say, but you need to get to the root of the issue. Is she just not interested in those other jobs? Does she fear change? Is she worried about moving out of the house and having to grow up? Does she mourn the loss of her childhood? What's really going on here? We just don't know. Come to her with this out of a place of concern. Ask what she thinks is the biggest change. The thing she's most worried about. Ask her about that. Time for a real conversation. This is the type of dialogue that makes relationships stronger because it's really easy to just get frustrated with somebody. In fact, don't expect this to get solved in one go at this point. It's very possible, it's likely that even she doesn't actually know the answer to what you're asking right now. Me, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and I moved to the former East Germany as an exchange student in high school. Other people I know still lived at home through college all the way through college because they just felt better there. They weren't ready to leave the nest. Not everyone has the same level of readiness to go and be an adult. So a little hesitation for some people is normal as long as it doesn't get out of hand and derail your whole life.
[00:22:49] You know, maybe it's an uncertain time for her and this whole scare is freaking her out and she feels like the best thing for her to do is stay at home for the time being. Look, it's okay, but you need to get to the root cause because if this is just something she needs to deal with over time, that's one thing. If she needs therapy to get through it, that's another thing. And if there's something else going on here, well, you want to know sooner rather than later. So time to have a sit down in a real conversation. Thankfully you've got plenty of time for that right now.
[00:23:15] As for advice on job hunting in the midst of a pandemic, your options are going to be few and far between. I wouldn't sit here and wait for a company that's hurting really badly to start hiring again. You could wait a really long time depending on the economy. I would take any job that you can get where you can learn a skill or if you really need money, take any job that you can get, period. Amazon is hiring like crazy. Walmart is hiring like crazy. I know those aren't crazy, sexy, college graduate sounding jobs, but this is the economy that we're in. And look, having any experience straight out of school is going to be good for you right now. Jason, who else is hiring? Amazon? Walmart? I know there's a bunch of companies that are hiring as fast as they can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:55] Instacart is really looking for people right now because I think they're trying to hire a couple of hundred thousand new drivers. Basically, any delivery service is looking for people right now.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:24:04] And look, I know you think, "I didn't take four years of anthropology to become a delivery driver." "I don't have an English lit degree in order to do this." It doesn't really matter. Look, work experience is great because it makes you more competitive later on, and in the meantime, you get to pay your rent, which is always a nice bonus. Besides, you don't necessarily have to be a delivery driver the entire time. You might move up in that organization and then you know how the infrastructure works, but in the meantime, you get a paycheck. So look, yes, there are probably some other companies that are hiring people from home, but if you have no work experience, if you're straight out of school, you're not competitive with everyone else who just got laid off and is now on the market. So take anything you can get and start busting your butt and learn how to do that job as best you can. That's my advice. All right, Jason, what else we got?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:24:52] Hi, J Team. I was supposed to have a job interview last week. However, due to the COVID-19 situation, the office where I was interviewing was shut down. I was notified via email from the person that I was supposed to be interviewing with, and she said she'd be in touch when things settle down. I responded promptly wishing her well, saying I was looking forward to our conversation and to reach out if she wanted or needed any information from me in the meantime. That was nine days ago. Is there anything else I should be doing to stay on her radar for this position? Should I wait to hear back from my interviewer? I'm worried that if I send the wrongly worded email, I'll come off as too eager, rude and selfish. What's the right amount of persistence that I need to show during this unique situation? Thanks. Signed, Eager to Be Employed.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:34] This is kind of a yucky one because now's not a great time to be like, "Hey, I remember that job," because they probably have bigger fish to fry. But I would say after a week or longer, it is perfectly acceptable to email and check-in. Not even a week. You don't normally have to wait that long. Things are in flux for everyone and you might just be a low priority right now. Also, all of the resumes that they were in the yes pile, they could be on a desk in an office that somebody hasn't gone to for the last two weeks. So who knows.
[00:26:02] Show organization, but also persistence here. Simply write in to check on how people are doing with the shift to working from home. Acknowledge the crazy times we live in with people working from home and ask about the timeframe on the hire or if they've already made a decision. Because unfortunately a lot of companies -- and this is kind of a dick move -- but a lot of companies will make a decision and then only notify the person they're hiring and everyone else just kind of gets ghosted, which is not cool, but a lot of HR people operate like this. It's actually funny because there's a shift now where employees who are highly talented and highly sought after are finding that they're really in high demand, of course, and they're starting to feel it and you see all of these complaints on LinkedIn.
[00:26:42] I don't know if you've ever looked at this, Jason, but there's a lot of complaints on LinkedIn. Like, "I can't believe how rude employees are, and they're doing this and they're not notifying us of that." And somebody wrote back, and I want to say it was Adam Grant or somebody like that, and he's like, "This is a normal response to decades of you in HR at companies treating employees poorly and not notifying them that they weren't hired and not calling them back on time like they're ghosting you now. And this is how it feels." So it's kind of funny. The employees are now being more selective, but be polite, be professional. Absolutely nothing wrong with checking in on this. This isn't dating. So seeming too eager, kind of not really a thing unless you're emailing them every other day to ask. Just get a timeline or an approximate timeline from them and check-in according to that timeline. That's not annoying. That's reasonable. So if they say they'll know more next week, check-in the following Monday or Tuesday after that previous week is over. This way you're staying top of mind without being annoying and not pestering them last thing on Friday or first thing on Monday when they're swamped with other stuff. I get not wanting to be annoying, so you've got to toe the line by being persistent, but also polite and professional. Those are the people that get hired. All right. Jason, what's next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:27:54] Hi Jordan. How do you find fatherhood has changed? You have new curiosities developed, and do you wish that you could ask past guests different questions now? Thanks. Signed, Just Curious.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:05] I personally am changing slowly over here. Jayden is only eight months old right now anyway, and being a father is not changing my interviews as much as it is changing Feedback Friday. I'm more compassionate now, years ago and up until -- I mean, I've changed slowly, but certainly more compassionate now that I've had a kid. Before I'd get letters and be like, "This is stupid and you're a knucklehead." And I still feel like that sometimes, but I am more compassionate and I think that's going to keep going as my kid makes many mistakes and I'm compassionate with him. I'm also more understanding and definitely would have been more judgy even quietly or not so quietly before, but now I realized that everybody is somebody else's baby. So I think the changes that come about for me are just not going to be overnight, but we'll probably be mostly visible later down the line. So when Jayden's, you know, five, 10 years old, there's going to be people who've been listening for a really long time that are going to say, "Oh, you've changed a lot as you've gotten older and had kids." But it's hard to say, what's a result of me having a kid and what's the result of me just getting older? So I don't notice a whole lot of changes yet. I'm also working less now. I care much less about things like run numbers and putting myself on Instagram videos. Not that I ever enjoyed doing that. I care less about the reach of the show and I care more about serving the existing audience, making sure that my current sponsors are happy with everything that's going on, especially in the time of COVID- 19. It's just nice to have the solid listenership of you all out there and not worry like, "Oh, I've got to be doing this on TV in five years." I just don't care about that anymore. All right, Jason, what else we got?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:40] Hello, Jordan and Company. My mother is in an independent living facility in Florida and has been since early last year due to memory issues and dementia. I've known, let's call her Verna, who is in her circle of friends down there for a few years. Verna is about 20 years younger than my mom and has helped her and others with various errands like dog sitting. That these women have difficulty with because of their age and infirmity, and she does charge money for these services. When my mother was moved into this facility, Verna approached me privately. She said she would help me, and since I live in New York and visits about four times a year, she would monitor my mom on a daily basis and hold the mail and relay information regarding my mom's condition, et cetera. Verna said that she charged $20 an hour usually, but she would only ask for $400 a month for doing this. This assumed that she wasn't getting any money from my mother. I verbally agreed, and since then Verna has been indeed helpful. Communicating my mom's progress in transitioning, helping with relocation issues that came up, taking her out to a store or a doctor's appointment. I was grateful for this help and raised the amount I was paying her to $550 and then $600 a month. As I'm the power of attorney for my mom's bank account and I do pay Verna from her account, I noticed checks to Verna in the amount of $100. I asked Verna about this and she said that my mom would write a check to her and she would provide cash to my mom on the spot. I accepted this. However, during one of my visits to my mom, she commented that Verna was helpful but expected money from her. I explained to my mom then that I was paying Verna and that she should not pay her. However, it came up again in that my mother told me not to pay Vernon, that she was paying her. She admitted giving her $80 last time she saw her. Another time when I was treating Verna and my mom to dinner out, my mom handed me $40 to give to Verna. My husband commented that he believes that paying is my mom's way of exerting control, and she's used to paying Verna from the time before she was in this facility. This is about 15 months into this agreement between Verna and I. Verna has been helpful, especially so early on when my mom had a lot of trouble transitioning into a less independent situation. Verna has good personal skills and is able to handle my mom when she can be difficult. From what I know of my mom, I now believe that she's paying Verna. I like Verna, but I made an agreement with the understanding that this was the only payment she was getting. It seems clear that my mom is paying her, plus she's getting money wired to her from me. Well, I appreciate the communication and monitoring that Verna provides that frankly isn't needed as much now that my mom is more settled. I'm frankly uncomfortable with this situation. It does seem like Verna is lying to me and taking money from both me and my mom. If I were to stop Verna from going to my mom, it would cause some difficulties in terms of her helping with the mail, taking my mom to the doctor, and notifying me of some matter concerning my mom that I should know about. Plus finding someone else my mom would be comfortable with and that I could trust would be another hurdle. From what I've shared, what do you believe is the best course of action here? Many things, Concerned Daughter.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:32:37] This is kind of a messy one because it's very difficult to find a reliable helper that you can trust, especially with somebody in this kind of situation. So there are two sides to this coin. What is that Verna is lying about the money and that's problematic, but she's doing everything else right from the sound of it. Taking your mom to the doctor, dealing with some of these surprises that crop up when you're dealing with older people, she's close to your mom. She lives nearby. Your mom probably, or possibly it sounds like, enjoys her company. The problem is that since your mom is experiencing dementia. It's even trickier because you don't really necessarily know what's going on here. I think in this scenario, I would let your mom continue to write checks since it makes her feel in control. I would though monitor that checking account and make sure to only pay Verna the remainder of the agreed-upon amount. Because right now, Verna is taking the money -- she might need it -- which is never an excuse, but you can pay the difference while not taking control away from your mother and making that whole thing into something that she needs to hide or making her feel bad about it.
[00:33:42] Make sure though that Verna understands why it's necessary to do this. And make sure that you agree on that beforehand because if she's going to continue to deny that she's been paid, you can say, "Well, I can see the check made out to you from my mom and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I'm happy to pay you the difference. My mom likes to pay you. It makes her feel good, so I'll just pay you the difference." Anyone who helps you with your mom at this difficult time is probably worth their weight in gold.
[00:34:07] And my mom, I asked my mom for help with this, and these are her suggestions because when my grandmother was in the hospital and then in the nursing home, my mom said she's so appreciated the woman who helped with my grandma, that when this woman later found herself in a terrible situation, my mom just gave her a massive amount of extra money. It was like, "Keep it. Consider it a gratuity for all the nice things you did for my mom's mom, my grandma," when she was in that nursing home for like the better part of a decade. So I hope this helps. It's really not easy to find a reliable helper that you can trust. The problem is the trust has been -- there's a couple of holes poked in it, but if it's just the money here, then I'd say that's kind of, it's almost the least of your worries.
[00:34:51] Now, the problem is when somebody lies about one thing, could they be lying about something else? It's hard to say in this situation, if someone's not making that much money, 650 bucks a month and they're taking care of a few older people, they might just need the money, and that might just be why this is happening, but you have to monitor the amount of money so she doesn't see it going unchecked and then either start to take advantage of that situation even more. Or decide that she's going to dip her hands in there. Now, if you see any other irregularities, then you have a major problem, but if it's just 80 bucks or 40 bucks here and there, I'm on the fence, but my gut says to just kind of make sure that you keep an eye on it, make sure you only pay the difference so that she knows you're keeping an eye on it and then let it go.
[00:35:32] I don't know. Jason, what do you think? This is kind of a mess. Because on the one hand, you have somebody who's fibbing about the amount of money they're getting from your aging mother. On the other hand, you have somebody who's taking your aging mother to the doctor and monitoring her care. You're between a rock and a hard place.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:47] Yeah. I'm not a fan of the double-dipping here and not disclosing it to the daughter. That really irks me because -- I know that this is a big problem with elder care and people taking advantage of old people. This was rampant in the nursing home that my grandmother was in. Fortunately, she didn't have a checking account, and it's just one of those things that really makes me angry. I'm kind of on the side of fire her immediately but that's my gut reaction. But she is taking care of your mother. You have to balance that. It's a difficult and uncomfortable situation because Verna really needs to get put in check because she lied. She did flat-out lie and as we know how you do, one thing is how you do everything. So that really just kind of creeps me out a bit, but the amounts are so low now. What happens when your mom writes her $1,000 check or a $4,000 check or a $5,000 check? And it gets through without you noticing it until you check the bank account. Then you've got a real problem, you know?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:42] Yeah. You know, you're right here. This is really sticky, and my gut reaction was also, get rid of this person immediately. However, you don't really have that many options. Now, look, if you can find someone else who's going to help and monitor the care and your mom is not going to pay her. Then that's something else. She's not going to ask your mom for money. Refuse to take money from your mom. That's something else, but you don't really know, and I'm kind of in a situation -- you're in a situation where it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. You know what I mean?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:37:11] Yeah. What I'm also thinking is maybe split the checking accounts here and only put so much money into your mom's checking account so she can only spend so much on Verna a month and so you're protected. You know she can't go in and drain it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:37:25] That's a good idea because this person here Concerned Daughter did say finding someone else who my mom would like and be comfortable with and that I could trust would be another hurdle. And I think that's going to be very, very difficult. But you're right, there can be a check here. You might have to put up with a little bit of, well, she's going to sort of double-dip and try to get money from your mom, but you can also make damn sure that your mom has 100 bucks in a checking account. The problem is she can overdraw a checking account easily and then you're on the hook for the remainder. Now, we're stuck here because she can make sure there's no money in the account, but then the bank can say, well look, there's a $5,000 check that got taken out of this account. You're responsible for it. We're going to pull it out of your savings.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:38:00] So what you can also do is just be very clear with Verna and say, "Look, my mom only has $200 a month in this checking account. If my mom gives you a check that's over $200 for the month, it's going to bounce and you're not going to get paid. And that's just the way it is. We split the accounts," for whatever reason. You know, make something up, but just make sure that Verna knows that she's not going to get a big payday out of this and say, "Look, this account only has X amount of dollars in it a month." And make that amount something that you're comfortable with putting on top of what Verna is getting already, or, you know, talk to Verna and make sure that she knows that that's coming out of her other pay, but just communicate it with her so she doesn't think that she can bilk your mom for a bunch of money just because you're not paying attention to it. Because you know, Verna might just one day say, "Hey, I'm going to Montana. Let's try and clean out all these old people that I've been taking care of."
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:48] Yeah, I do worry about that. There could be something larger at play here. There's a lot of elder abuse. So you're between a rock and a hard place. Again, I really don't envy you with this situation right now. If it's only money, make sure you limit the damage and then just make sure that Verna knows that you're checking. Check that dang checking account every day. When you get home from work, log into whatever bank, take a look, and if something happens, you can say, "I see my mom paid you $80 today." You can just let Verna know like, "Hey, someone's paying attention to every single transaction on this account." So you don't have to make it something where you're giving her the stink-eye for real or you're making it adversarial. All you have to do is just pretend you're on the same team with Verna in making sure your mom feels a little bit in control. Like, "Thanks for your help. I know my mom likes to pay you. Here's the difference. Here's the balance." And then if you're checking that all the time and you say, "I noticed my mom paid you 80 bucks today, hope you're, well, I'll make sure to give you the other $220 balance next time I see you. Smiley face." Then it's a polite way of letting her know you're paying attention without saying, "I know you're stealing from my mom."
Jason DeFillippo: [00:39:52] Yeah. And set up alerts, like email alerts on that account. So any transaction that comes through, you get a notification in your email so you don't have to keep checking it every morning. Or if something comes through in the middle of the night. That you didn't, you know, have eyeballs on. You can call the bank and have the charges reversed or do whatever you can with your bank. I don't know if it's a small bank or a big bank because I know smaller banks might even work with you and give her like a fake checking account or a fake checkbook and say, "Look, my mother has dementia. She needs to feel in control. What can you do to help me out with this?"
Jordan Harbinger: [00:40:22] Yeah. I think there's something here because there's got to be. I don't know enough about this particular element, but there has to be a way where you can limit the damage. Like what happens if someone writes a check for $25,000? The bank holds the check until it clears, right? They don't just cash that or deposit that.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:40:38] Yeah. You see it as pending in your account and it takes a couple of days to clear. So any big amounts are definitely going to cause red flags.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:40:44] Yeah. I wonder if there's a way to flag this with a bank or if there's a certain type of checking account that is not possible to overdraw, or is that just not the way checks work?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:40:52] Yeah, I don't know anymore. I mean, banking has changed so much since I was a kid. You used to be able to talk to your bankers and have them do fun, cool stuff with you. But nowadays it's also automated. Who knows?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:41:03] Yeah, I mean, the problem here is you can't just take care of mom's checking account away because then she'll pay her in cash, which you definitely can't monitor and trace and there's no paper trail. So checks are kind of the least of your worries. You just want to make sure that she's not going to end up with one big con where she loses 10 grand.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:41:19] Yeah, definitely. Oh, sorry about this. This is a really nasty situation, but --
Jordan Harbinger: [00:41:23] yeah,
Jason DeFillippo: [00:41:23] it sounds like she's at least taking care of your mom and not like, you know, treating her poorly, which is a plus. So, you know, weigh the difference on that. Is it worth the extra money and the extra hassle? Or, like I said, I'm on the fence. It's like half of me wants to say let it go because she's doing really well by your mom and your mom likes her, which is the hardest thing to get there -- because, you know, my grandmother had dementia and was in a nursing home for 10 years and it was so hard to find people that you liked. And when we found those people, we treated them like gold.
[00:41:51] We'll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:41:55] This is sponsored in part by Audible. A lot of people are asking me how I go through so much content for the show. And the truth is I go through a ton of audiobooks. I listen to a ton from Audible, best-sellers, memoirs, news, business, self-development. I've got a whole gamut here. Jason, I know you've got literally hundreds of Audible titles. Any idea what your collection looks like right now?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:42:16] I'm about up to 950.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:18] Geez.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:42:19] Yeah, I just picked up Mythos from Stephen Fry. That is my new audiobook. It is fantastic. It's like 15 hours long and it's read by Stephen, so you can't go wrong. I don't even care. He could be reading the back of like a soup carton and I'd love it, but it's a fantastic book.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:32] Audible also gives away books, so they've got Audible originals that you can just download every month. There's stuff from the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and every month you could just pick a title from your credits. I actually do this annual plan where they give me all my credits at once. I think that's like the power move where you get like 24 credits all at one time and I blow through them in like six months or less. Probably not even that long. Probably like three months. So to kick off 2020 they're focusing on the old new year, new you. You can download titles and listen offline. You don't have to stream them from the app. The app is free. You can install it on any phone or any tablet. It's a good listening app. It's a good experience. And they've got a ton of podcasts in there as well. So there are all kinds of content for you here inside Audible. They've got thousands of titles you can find pretty much anything you want to listen to on Audible. Visit audible.com/harbinger that's audible.com/harbinger or text harbinger to 500-500 so you can text harbinger to 500-500 and they'll send you a little deal, but definitely recommend Audible. I've been using them for years.
[00:43:35] This episode is sponsored in part by NetSuite. What companies like Ring, Hint, and Tecovas all have in common. They all use NetSuite to accelerate their growth. Successful companies know that in order to grow faster, you must have the right tools and if you want to take your company from 2 million to 10 or 10 million to hundreds of millions in revenue. NetSuite by Oracle gives you the tools to turbocharge your growth. And with NetSuite, you get a full picture of your business, finance, inventory, HR, customers, and more. It's everything you need to grow all-in-one place, run your entire business from anywhere even if you're working from home. With NetSuite, you are covered and NetSuite will give you the visibility and control you need to make the right decisions and grow with confidence. That's why NetSuite customers grow faster than the S&P 500. They are the world's number one cloud business system trusted by more than 20,000 companies. It's the last system you'll ever need.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:25] Schedule your free product tour right now and receive your free guide is Six Ways to Run a More Profitable Business at netsuite.com/jordan. That's netsuite.com/jordan. One more time, netsuite.com/jordan. NetSuite business grows here.
[00:44:40] Thank you for supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. Now back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:55] All right. Last but not least, we have a segment from Gretchen Rubin here who's been a guest on the show before. She's going to discuss ways in which we can get ahead in our career and in our lives, even though we feel stuck at home right now in the time of COVID-19. It's kind of ironic because the first thing we started the show with was we're not talking about coronavirus. What I meant was we're talking a lot about coronavirus, but we're not talking about all the updates in the news and all that stuff. I want to help you handle the issues that you're facing because of this, but I don't want to focus on the health concerns because it's not my bag. And yeah, again, you're getting that everywhere else. So let's hear from Gretchen Rubin.
[00:45:30] Gretchen, thanks for coming on the show.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:45:32] I'm so happy to talk to you.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:34] I want to hear about some of your ideas for making this a productive time in your career because I think for a lot of folks, they feel like this is a weird limbo that they're in, or purgatory might be a better sense of what this is for a lot of folks. There are kids that are at home and now you're a teacher, but you're also still a lawyer, but you're also still a spouse. People who don't normally work from home are often not set up to work from home, but the family is still kind of, "Oh, mom's home all day. Great. We have a snack chef on duty 24/7." There's a whole lot of adjustments that need to be made and there are still people that haven't quite wrapped their mind around the fact that this might be the next six-plus months of life or three months, or you know, even longer. We don't really know.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:46:18] I think you're exactly right that we're in this period and we don't know exactly how long it's going to last. And that I think is adding to people's uncertainty, it's like there's no clear deadline. But we know it's going to be weeks or more. And so as you said, most of us weren't set up for this kind of use of our space. So one of the first things to do if you want to use this time to invest in your work future -- which I think it's a great way to think about this time as like, "Okay, I'm going to do what I need to do, but I'm also going to use any extra time to invest in the future."
[00:46:49] One thing to do is to evaluate your space. It's not going to work for me to work on my laptop in the kitchen.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:56] That's pure fantasy.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:46:58] Yeah. You know, I need to figure out, "Okay, well where can I set up and how can everybody who needs a place to work have a place to work where they can concentrate and they can have their stuff." Maybe you want to reconfigure some spaces like maybe you put two children in one bedroom and then the other room becomes a playroom to give sort of a different sense of space. Or maybe a walk-in closet becomes an office. Ryan's office in the TV show, The Office, if you remember how Ryan got put in that supply closet. I'm like --
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:25] Yes.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:47:26] That's a nice little office in there. And also to kind of create space also by cleaning out. You know, maybe have five boxes of files that you moved from your last job and they're just piled up in some corner. You can really create a sense of order and clarity and space by using this time to go through things that you have and you know, sorting and shredding and tossing, and, and there's something about outer order that does help people get a sense of creativity and energy.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:50] I think that's true, and it's a great time to kill two birds with one stone. So for example, if you're setting up that home office space or your home office space where you're usually working from home and everyone else has gone, has been invaded by kids and spouse. You can do the closet thing or turn one of the bedrooms into an area that maybe is for work only, but then also to say, "Look, this room was full of boxes. What are we going to do with these?" Maybe it's time to spend an hour or two a day going through papers from 1995 and seeing what I actually still need and what can go out in the recycling bin.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:48:24] I wrote this book, Outer Order, Inner Calm, because so many people said that, "Talked about how outer order contributes to inner calm." And it's just kind of weird. I mean, it doesn't seem like it makes that much sense that creating outer order, even something as simple as making your bed, people are like, "Oh my gosh, I feel so much better. I feel so energized now that I cleaned off my desk." And I think also in a time of emergency like this, people want to take action and they kind of want to prepare and sometimes there's really nothing to do. You've kind of bought your toilet paper and there you are. And so this kind of work over and over, people are saying, "It's just making me feel better. It's like I'm controlling what I can control. I'm making my own space better," and there's just comfort in that. It's kind of irrational, but that doesn't mean it's not effective.
[00:49:05] And so I think it can be a really helpful way. Like you said, you use this time in a productive way and you're also making sure you're setting yourself up for the future. You know, we're all worried about the health consequences of COVID-19 but there are also tremendous economic consequences. And one thing that we can do with this time is to really set ourselves up for the future. So perhaps there's like a course or an online certification program that you could take that would give you a new skill or like add to your resume, or you could update your resume. You could update your LinkedIn profile, you know, do those things that often in the course of our everyday life, we don't really have time to be like, "Oh, I need to learn how to use that new software." It's like, "Ugh, I know I shouldn't use it. Everybody's using it, but who's got the time to sit down and do it?" Now you've got the time, and then you can be setting yourself up in the future for more opportunities.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:49:52] What about expanding what we're doing? I know a lot of folks are finally going to sit down and write that book, which is kind of a joke, but also kind of not like, look, some people are homeschool teachers and lawyers and doctors now or whatever. Well, I guess doctors are probably treating patients, but there are people that have more work at home than they did in the office, but there are other folks that are running out of things to do. A lot of my friends who are professional speakers for example -- maybe not the most relatable job for a lot of folks listening. But the people who speak for a living are like, "Guess I'm going to sit down and write a book," because they travel five times a month and now they're traveling zero times for the next few months. At least they're able to sit down and do a lot of work, but for a lot of folks, it's a good time to, like you said, expand your offerings. What did you have in mind?
Gretchen Rubin: [00:50:40] Well, like a friend of mine who is a consultant, said she'd been meaning for a long time to learn how to do webinars and online courses, and she just sort of had never gotten around to figuring it out. Well, now she can, and then that's going to be another source of income for her. Or you know, you're starting a newsletter or a side hustle. Maybe there's something that you've always thought about doing in addition to your day job. Well, this might be a good time to invest in it, investigate it because maybe you need to set up a website. Maybe you need to set up an email address. Maybe you need to get some things together. Well, having that side hustle, having that extra source of income because we have more security and freedom when we have large diversification of our income and of our work product. And so this is an opportunity to think like -- maybe there's other -- I could write an eBook that I could sell. I could create an audiobook. I mean, you know, what are the things that -- I can start a podcast?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:51:30] Yes, please don't do that. I think now is a golden opportunity for a lot of folks to teach the things that they know to other folks online. Because someone had written to me last week on the show and said, "Hey, I'm a teacher and I'm worried because I'm only like one year out. Are they going to lay people off? We don't really know. The teacher's union hasn't really told us X, Y, or Z right now. We're not sure if we're going to be back in action right now. I'm just giving my students a bunch of homework and then other people who are teachers that don't have full-time jobs like substitutes, they're kind of out of luck because there's no sub. The teachers are working from home." And I thought, "You're missing out on a major opportunity here." Right now, I have an eight-month-old, but if I had an eight-year-old, the first thing I would do is go online and be like, "Who can run my kid through the five freaking the hours of homework that he has that I don't know how to do?" I don't know fractions anymore. Like, don't be ridiculous. I forgot that stuff the second I graduated high school. Where is somebody who understands this? That can hop on Zoom or whatever and teach these things to my kid for -- I don't know how much teachers make, but I'll double it per day and just teach my kid one on one and make sure that he understands this so he doesn't lose the time. That's a golden opportunity for a lot of educators and I think even teachers right now that are working, that are just assigning things and then grading things remotely. If they have extra time because the parents are running the kids through the drills or the essays, they can actually probably get part-time tutor gigs on the side. They might even be teaching their own students. I don't know how that works started from an ethical standpoint, but they might even be tutoring their own students or students in their own community on how to do this all remotely and all online. Because I certainly as a parent would be paying for that because you're basically paying for someone to not waste the time for your kid educationally and also to keep somebody who's old enough to focus on a Zoom lesson entertained for at least a few hours while I get stuff done at home.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:53:24] Well, any kind of change does bring opportunity to some people. I do a high-intensity workout every once a week for 20 minutes and I can't go in obviously, and so I did it remotely with my trainer. And then I was like, "You know, actually, I'm so worried about being cooped up and everything and not staying in shape. I want to do it twice a week." And my husband is also doing it twice a week, and we've referred people who are like, "I never have time to go to a gym." But now they're stuck at home. And they're like, "Well, if he can train me with my iPad. I got some stretch bands, I can do some planks." And so this guy, he's managing to train people and to expand his clientele because this is changing things up in a way, and not everybody is that lucky, of course, but for him, he was like on it right away.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:54:05] I think that if you think hard enough for many people, there's probably an opportunity. A friend of mine was saying, "I can't do anything," because he's like a beekeeper and he goes and removes hives and takes hives out of people's houses and stuff like that.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:54:20] That's cool.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:54:20] Yeah. And I said, "You know, there's probably a ton of people who would love to learn this as a skill online, and there's probably nobody teaching people how to set up hives." It's a very solitary hobby if you want it to be, you know, it's you and the bees. So he's teaching people online how to set up hives, maintain hives, harvest the honey from hives. Now, it's a great time to do that. So he's doing that online. Like things you don't think you can do online carpentry that can be done online. You're teaching someone else how to do it. So I think that's a great way to expand like you said.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:54:50] And it gives you that feeling of being productive and expanding. And that's the atmosphere of growth that's so important to happiness. And I think people are worried about the future and so anything that makes them feel like they're taking action is reassuring.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:01] Gretchen, thank you so much.
Gretchen Rubin: [00:55:03] Thank you. It's great to talk to you.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:05] Life Pro Tip of the Week. A lot of people don't know this. I'm surprised, Jason, that they don't, but I guess these phones do a lot of things these days. On the iPhone, you can set defined times when the do-not-disturb goes on, and then you only get calls from people in your favorites and when people call you three times consecutively. This is all something you can set in the preferences. We'll link to how that's done on the Apple iPhone in the show notes. It also works when you connect to a car for phone calls and it prevents you from getting notifications while driving. It reduces the risk you're going to pick up the phone and be sent to reply. I'm shocked at how many people don't do this and now that everyone's working from home, a lot of folks have complained, "Oh, my phone's bugging me, my phone's bugging me."
[00:55:43] I leave my phone on do-not-disturb all day long. I just check texts when I think of it, not when every little damn thing dings on my phone with the screen lights up. And I also don't want all the random calls. There's a ton of phone salespeople working now. There's a ton of scam calls. There are all kinds of crazy coronavirus scams. There are all kinds of alerts. I don't want to be getting that. I'm in studio recording, but even if I weren't and I was just focusing on, let's say writing something, I wouldn't want my phone dinging all the time.
[00:56:10] You don't have to put up with that anymore. You can be even more focused. So make sure you're using do-not-disturb. Make sure you're using the timer. Make sure you allow calls from people in your favorites so you don't worry about missing things. And you can set people who you work with that call you to a list and they can get through. So easy-peasy.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:56:26] I've also got another Pro Tip for the Week. It's basically the same thing, but on the car side of things, you can set that I'm-not-driving reply, and you can customize that. And then you can also turn that on manually if you set it on your lock screen so you can set it to say, "Hey, I'm driving right now. I'll get back to you when I get to my destination." And you can turn that on and pretend you're driving and let people know that "Yeah, this is, there's a real reason I can't talk to you right now. I'm actually trying to be safe out there." So it's a fun way to customize that do-not-disturb message when people try and get a hold of you or text you while you're doing it. And also there's a feature in the iPhone where you can turn off calls from numbers that are not in your address book. I have that on constantly because I don't want random calls like these COVID scammers out there calling me all day long. That's an easy fix. That's under the phone menu in the settings. Check that one out.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:57:14] Recommendation of the Week. I think it goes without saying that we have to recommend the Tiger King on Netflix. Everybody's pretty much seeing this, and if you haven't, then we brace herself. Also, if you watched the trailer or you're seeing the memes and you're like, "That just looks dumb." You're not wrong, but it's just a crazy portrait of humanity. Why don't I leave it there? I think everybody's heard about this, the Tiger King. It's something else. Not really sure how else to explain it. Jason, you haven't even started watching it. You're in for it, man.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:57:44] It's in the queue. I am looking forward to it because I see the memes coming around and it's like, "What the hell is going on there?" Okay. I'm in. I'm in. Let's do it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:57:52] Text to me after episode one. I'm so curious of what you think.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:57:55] Okay, will do.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:57:57] Yeah. Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. A link to the show notes for the episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Quick shout out to everybody listening while you're delivering other people's food and packages. You guys are so important right now. You're running the whole country pretty much. So pat yourself on the back if you're out there delivering food packages and we are thankful, we are thankful. I'll say it on behalf of everybody. Without you, we'd all be shriveled up and dead with no toilet paper. So thank you for coming to our house, even though -- hopefully you've got plenty of hand sanitizer in that truck.
[00:58:30] Go back and check out Kevin Systrom Part One and Two if you haven't yet. He's the founder of Instagram. And if you're wondering how I've got a network, the way that I'm able to book all these guests, I've got a course called Six-Minute Networking. It is free and it's not a new platform now. It should be easier to use and more interesting. That's at jordanharbinger.com/course. The drills take a few minutes per day. I know there was some confusion from people that said, "Oh, it's probably too long." It's called Six-Minute Networking. Not only because you can do it in six minutes a day, but because the course only takes five, six minutes a day, so just get to it. You've got plenty of time right now. It's more important than ever to reach out to your network and connect. It's the type of habit you ignore only at your own peril, and again, it's free, jordanharbinger.com/course. I'm on Instagram and Twitter at @JordanHarbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show. Videos of our interviews are also at jordanharbinger.com/youtube. Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:59:22] And you can check out my tech podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks. We discuss what went wrong on the Internet and who's to blame along with cybersecurity apps, gadgets, books, and more. That is Grumpy Old Geeks wherever you get your podcasts.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:59:33] This show is created in association with PodcastOne. This episode was produced by Jen Harbinger, edited by Jase Sanderson, show notes for the episode by Robert Fogarty, music by Evan Viola. Keeps sending in those questions to email@example.com. Our advice and opinions and those of our guests are their own, and yeah, I'm a lawyer, but not your lawyer. So do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. And remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love. If you found this episode useful, please share it with someone who can use the advice that we gave here today. Lots more in store for 2020, very excited to bring it to you. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show, so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time.
Theo Rossi: [01:00:16] Hey, I got a new podcast coming. It's called THEOry. This is Theo Rossi. Our world is changing for many of us; it'll never feel the same. The important thing to remember is that we are all in this together and that's some of what I want to talk about on my new show THEOry. We're going to discuss the things that no one ever does. The real talk, the sacrifice, and the struggle to everyone goes. My life has kind of put me in a unique position to say things honestly. This is Theo Rossi and my new show THEOry launches on April 8th officially on Spotify, PodcastOne, and Apple Podcasts.
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