If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at email@example.com. Now, let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- Is partaking of a small amount of marijuana in the evening akin to relaxing with a glass of wine at the end of the day, or are you just lying to yourself in order to justify an unhealthy addiction? Also: is it worth the risk if it’s not legal in your area?
- How do you become essential to a fast-growing company that has so much to offer your career among a peer group with a competitive but respectful corporate spirit?
- How do you navigate the chain of command without stepping on toes when you know your boss’ boss is more competent than your boss and prefer to work with her when something needs to be done?
- You’re naturally shy and don’t have much contact with your old friends these days. How do you work up the courage to go out and meet people who have the potential to be your new friends?
- You’ve graduated from high school and now you’re in a gap year before you go to college. You’ve been offered a management position at your current job, but it would further delay your college plans. Should you take the opportunity for promotion, or stick with your plan to start school next year?
- Are you crazy for wanting to transition away from a well-paying job with great benefits toward a sustainable digital nomad lifestyle — especially when you and your wife are planning to raise a family?
- Is the idea of going back to college your solution for being unable to cope with the stress of your challenging job, or are you just not adjusting to being the low person on the totem pole?
- Tank’s Good News: Watch Olympic Sprinter Run onto Busy Highway so He Can save Tortoise from Traffic
- Quick shoutouts to Nicola and American Dream University!
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
- Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
Like to travel? Check out Zane’s World! Each episode focuses on a different city/country as Zane and his co-hosts break down the best attractions, food and beverage stops, and interesting locations in each destination. Find Zane’s World on PodcastOne here!
Resources from This Episode:
- Six-Minute Networking
- TJHS 120: Molly Bloom | The One Who Makes the Rules Wins the Game
- TJHS 121: Freeway Rick Ross | Life in the Crack Lane
- Trading Wine for Weed? Experts Say Trend Likely to Accelerate Thanks to Legal Pot by Trevor Hughes, USA Today
- The Use of the Minor Tranquilizers: Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, and Valium by Fredric Neuman M.D., Psychology Today
- The Genius Life 29: CBD Benefits and Buyer’s Guide | Gretchen Lidicker
- TJHS 72: Dr. Drew Pinsky | Give the World the Best You Have Anyway
- Cannabis Shops in Canada Are Running out of Weed Only Days after Drug Was Legalized by Brendan Cole, Newsweek
- Marissa Mayer Is Renting the Original Google Office Where She Started Her Career in 1999 by Ashley Rodriguez, Quartz
- How to Make People Remember You by Jordan Harbinger
- WWOOF — World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms
- Side Hustle: From Idea to Income in 27 Days by Chris Guillebeau
- “Milk Was a Bad Choice.” (Anchorman)
- American Dream University
Transcript for How to Be a Sustainable Digital Nomad | Feedback Friday ( Episode 122)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:00] Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger, and I'm here with producer Jason DeFillippo. Here on the Jordan Harbinger Show, we love having conversations with our fascinating guests, and this week we had Molly Bloom. What an incredible story. She is so capable and we'll hear what happens when somebody who is so capable and so sharp turns the cannon maybe the wrong direction. She had an incredible experience running poker games for A-list, celebrities in New York and LA, and we'll see how that all came crashing down. What a wild ride, Jason that was and she's an awesome person. You can just tell she was one of those people who going to be amazing at anything and she's kind of lucky that she didn't get killed doing this literally.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:00:41] She's fantastic, has a great sense of humor and I still can't believe Tobey Maguire is such a jerk.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:46] I can, but it is sort of surprising, right? I guess given his characters and all the movies. We also had Freeway Rick Ross talking about essentially bringing crack to America, but on the other hand, he's really got an amazing business story. Of course, he went to prison for that as people who break the law often do, and his story going through that and coming out the other side is nothing short of fascinating whether you're a business owner, you're interested in the business side of this or the human side of this or both. Checkout Freeway Rick Ross, and of course, Molly Bloom here this week.
[00:01:19] Our primary mission on the Jordan Harbinger Show is to pass along our guests experiences and insights to you as well as our experiences and insights. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you and that's what we're going to do today and every Friday here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us at email@example.com. If you can keep your questions concise, it really does increase the chances that we'll be able to get to it here on the show.
[00:01:45] And Jason, we're going to Vegas. We've got the live event coming up for Advanced Human Dynamics. If you didn't hear about that it's because we sent out one email and it cuts sold out within three hours. We should be doing another few of those, I would imagine here in 2019 as well, and there are so many great shows that we're going to be putting up on YouTube doing a lot more video, which reminds me if you've got a great spot to film and/or record video in a major city, I would love to hear from you. Jason and I were just talking about this. We would love to hear from people in LA, New York, even other big cities like Chicago, et cetera, and up here in San Francisco and Silicon Valley because we are often looking for a studio, and it's great to bring it to somebody who's a fan of the show and has an interesting spot rather than just renting some music or video studio somewhere in the city. So if you have something like that, you'd love us to bring the show essentially into your living room or your roof deck or whatever you've got. Give me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org, and I think this could be a really fun experiment. Jason, what's the first thing out of the mailbag?
Jason DeFillippo: [0 0:02:49] Dear Jason and Jordan. I'm a highly motivated 27-year-old guy working as a health care professional in the United States. I have my student loans repaid, mortgage started, lean fire goals, and overall life in order. However, I engage in the highly illegal activity of smoking a small amount of marijuana after work most days of the week. I acknowledged that marijuana can make some people lazy, but personally I find that it helps me transition from work, relax, and connect with friends. I'm able to remain productive without power walking around the house, crossing things off my to do list. In my mind, it's no different than my coworkers having a glass of wine or taking a benzodiazepine after work. I don't feel that it interferes with my ability to do my job and that I'm just a few years ahead of the social and legal change. Am I taking on too much unnecessary risk since I would likely lose my job if I were randomly drug tested? Is it a case of lying to myself in order to justify an unhealthy addiction? Would love to hear your thoughts on the topic is I guess many listeners find themselves in a similar situation. Love the new show. Keep up the good work, Druggie Millennials.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:50] Okay, well, all right. This is where I sound old. What I've heard of popping a benzo, but what exactly is that? And that's not what he's doing to be clear, he's smoking a little reefer after the work, but what is a benzodiazepine? I should realize I should have Googled this, but do you know, Jason?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:08] Is basically a tranquilizer.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:10] Do people just sort of get home from work and pop in a benzodiazepine?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:14] It's kind of like a Valium or Xanax.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:17] Okay. I didn't realize so many people are doing that. I don't know what the frequency is of that. Wine, I've heard of that. I know a lot of people didn't quite have to work. Look, I think that in many ways having a little puff is probably normal. You're definitely ahead of the social and legal change. I mean, we just had an election where my home State of Michigan made legal recreational use of marijuana, which is something that I think could have probably happened 20 years ago if you asked a bunch of 20 somethings to vote on what they wanted and you didn't have a bunch of other folks sort of lobbying which way in that. I realized the value of this, of this relaxing substance. Too many people, I think a lot of people have a practice of apparently popping a benzo, drinking a glass of wine, smoking a little J after work, and I don't want to judge that at all because I know a lot of people are thinking, just go to the gym. But look, there are a lot of folks that have a natural level of anxiety that is way high and some of those people are the smartest people that I know. They're the most accomplished people that I know and some of them smoke weed at lunch and come back to the office.
I know this is fact, even from Wall Street and from Tech. So this is not something that only losers do even though that might be the stigma. The sort of rail politic here, the realness, a real talk here is that you can definitely and obviously get fired for cause if you get drug tested and you've got weed in your system if you're in healthcare period and in many other professions as well. And I would imagine getting fired for cause or for failing a drug test would severely damage career and your job prospects of getting something else after that, and that's an unfortunate reality.
[00:06:03] So I don't know what to tell you other than yes, I get it, you need this. You feel like you need this. A lot of people do this, but do you want to risk getting fired and not being able to find another job. Fair or not? That's what can happen. So maybe try hemp CBD if you're interested in the non-psychoactive effects of cannabis, cannabinoids, cannabidiol, things like that. Try CBD, hemp CBD, you might get what you need from that. It's not illegal. It's not controlled. Look, I agree. It's unfortunate. I think you're -- I think you are justifying something you like, but I don't think that what you're telling me indicates some kind of unhealthy addiction per se. Granted, I'm not a doctor. Dr. Drew might be better at this. I'm a fan of the hemp CBD. I feel like it does a little something, something for me. It's not psychoactive. It sort of feels like a half glass of wine and you don't have to drink any wine. I'm not a big fan of that stuff to be honest. And alcohol is much more harmful than CBD, and if you don't know what CBD is, it's the non-psychoactive cannabis oil that is in marijuana and hemp. THC is only essentially, and I put that in air quotes in marijuana in high concentrations.
[00:07:18] So if you're really loving the THC in the high feeling, well you may be out of luck here because that's what they're testing for. CBD, something totally different. And I feel like we're going to hear a lot more about that in the next 10 to 20 years. So if I were you, I would not be comfortable risking my career to relax after work. I would have to work around that. And so that's unfortunately what I have to recommend right now.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:07:41] As a funny aside, you and I just came back from Canada not too long ago from the Fireside Conference and it was like two days before they legalized marijuana in the country. And I don't know if you've heard, but Canada has run out of weed.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:07:53] Are you serious?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:07:54] I'm serious. They're having massive shortages. So all the people that are -- they try and go buy it legally. They have to go buy it illegally now because the country didn't give enough like legal grower's licenses. So what they've actually tried to curtail, which was the illegal buying and selling of marijuana has completely backfired because they ran out of weed.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:08:15] That's really funny. I bet you that California is exporting weed to Canada instead of vice versa.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:20] Probably, probably.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:08:21] Yeah. That's so funny. This market is bonkers. It is so funny. It is so interesting to see because this is the end of a prohibition for a whole country. It's kind of crazy.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:34] Right, yeah. No, it is. It is crazy. I hopefully they'll get their ish together and get those back out there because there are a lot of Canadians that want to have some of the wacky tobacky.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:08:45] Yeah, they'll figure out how to meet the demand. That is for sure. Nobody wants to leave that tax revenue aside. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:54] Dear Jordan and Team, I'm a 34-year-old French woman with two young children. About a year and a half ago, I joined a really fast growing company as an executive assistant. Five months ago, I was offered to take over the sales administration of 70 percent of our sales. A few weeks ago. I explained to my boss that we needed some extra help to face the huge increase of work we had since the beginning of the year. I ended up getting an assistant to help me with my work and my boss asked me to co-manage his sales agent. The next day, I was offered to come with him on a very important trade show taking place in a few months. I've been working with very highly qualified people over the past months and I want in. These people are very demanding and at the same time they all suffer from the imposter syndrome, partially cured by training sessions of personal development financed by the company. How can I get ready to be determinant on the upcoming trade show and to cast the best suitable customers for us, and do you have any tips on how to become essential to a company that has so much to offer? Did I forget to mention that my fellow managers have a very competitive but respectful corporate spirit? I really think I can bring a lot to the company and vice versa and don't want to mess up with the opportunities that are given to me. Keep doing what you do so well. Signed, Trying to Level Up.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:10:04] Great set of questions. I asked a friend of mine who is a sales monster, his name is Chris Johnson. He helps in some Feedback Fridays, and I will say that his answer as usual is gold. So first things first, learn all that you can. Companies like this that are fast in growth, they're volatile. They're equally likely to explode with growth or implode during times like this. So keep your eyes open and be ready for the opportunity, but make sure that you consider your number one goal or number one opportunity here to be your own learning. Two, to become invaluable to a company like this, you have to focus on two things, one production and getting credit for it. A lot of people get stuck in the intangibles mode and they make minor contributions or even mid-contributions to companies. You've got to close some deals and you've got to get frontline recognition.
[00:11:00] So essentially make the boss call your number and say, “Good job.” You want that recognition, whether it's in front of others, it doesn't necessarily matter. You've got to get credit for the wins. Win some sales contests, do your thing. I've seen a lot of people burn out in the startup world, Chris as well. They've got nothing to show for it because the chaos of a startup or of a fast growth company, it makes it really easy to pitch in on products that don't matter or you pitch in but you're the fifth person down the totem pole so you don't really get credit. You're really useful. Everyone likes you, but when it comes to what management sees your value is as being, it might not be there. You need public recognition, especially in the early stages.
[00:11:43] An example here is a Marissa Meyer, she's formerly of Google. She got a lot of recognition early on and got to be on public facing projects and that led to her early career rise, which directly translated to as we know some serious dough and some serious power here in Silicon Valley. Being a team player in situations like this often leads to burnout because you'll work, work, work, work, work, everyone will -- you get the blue ribbon for participation. You might not get fired, but you're not necessarily going to continue moving upward or become the key player on a team. So that's an unfortunate reality of the situation. Doesn't mean you have to be stingy and not help other people. It just means that you have to be looking for opportunities in which you can get recognition as well. So thanks to Chris Johnson for his help in this answer,and best of luck leveling up. All right, next.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:12:36] Hey Team. I'm at a new first job out of grad school and because of life changes like moving states, getting married, taking care of a sick mother-in-law, I had to take a job outside of my field to pay the bills. My boss isn't the most put together lady. She's absent minded, talks over me when I ask questions and jumps to conclusions before I can report any information to her. However, our program director, her boss is very professional, well-spoken in a great networking opportunity. I've already shown myself valuable to the program director. I want to get closer to the program director, but because of the work environment, I'm afraid my direct boss will be offended. How should I navigate this? I work at an agency full of social workers and I have my masters in mental health counseling. I'm working on studying for the licensure test to be a counselor in my state, so I'm not planning to be here long. However, I want to leave this place well with strong connections. Thanks for all the work, Not a Bridge Burner.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:29] This is a great attitude to have. Not we're not trying to step on people's toes, not trying to burn bridges, but also trying to be a little bit ambitious. I dig this. This doesn't seem to me to be as big of a problem as you think it is. For two reasons. First, you say that you don't want to stay in the job for that long, which is great. That means the stakes are not really that high. If you do end up offending your direct boss, and B, you don't know that you will in fact offend your direct boss if you do buddy up to the more senior person. I get the fear from your perspective, but I think it's probably partly if not mostly in your head. Of course, there are ways to build relationships within a company that don't alienate other people and that's just good networking.
[00:14:12] For example, you can become close with the supervisor by helping her out, providing value in other ways like we've discussed on the show. If you're drawing a blank check out Six-Minute Networking, I'll tell you where to get that in a second, but you can also continue to be helpful and nice and supportive and polite to your current boss that you don't get along with. And that will go a long way in making sure that you don't burn any bridges as you move up and as you proceed with this, and the boss you're describing honestly sounds pretty incompetent. People who act like this at work don't often have as much influence and power slash respect as they seem to despite their position. So I think this is another point, which is if you do become close to the more senior person and you do end up shining within the company, it might not be as big of a liability as you think it is. If the other person, if your current boss doesn't add a lot of value. People will see, oh yeah, this person -- maybe your boss decides to hate you, right? So she starts saying, “Oh yeah, Angela, she's burning bridges. She's not getting it done.” And everyone else goes, “Yeah, yeah, we know you're the incompetent one. She's been great with us. She knows you're an idiot too.” You know, there's always kind of that impression floating around in a company. You don't want to bank on that, but it is easy to assume you're the only person who thinks someone's bad, mean, rude, problematic, and competent, whatever. Often everyone in the office knows it too, and then you end up shining as a result. This doesn't mean you should be ruthless and Machiavellian about out shining your bad boss. I would be diplomatic and do right and a right by her, right by your obligations to her while simultaneously building independent relationships and building your credibility.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:55] We'll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:15:58] This episode is sponsored in part by SimpliSafe. I know they gave us this a copy here, Jason, but I'm going to go out on a limb and just wing it because SimpliSafe is awesome. We tried to get an alarm system a few months back and before I'd heard of SimpliSafe and it was a total POS. I mean it looked like a set of walkie-talkies and a calculator from the ‘80s got duct tape together, and it was expensive and we try to a variety of what we thought were different companies and it turns out it was just like the big companies, white labeling all their crappy gear for all these little companies. SimpliSafe is completely different. I wouldn't say it's the security system of the future, it's the only security system that's updated for modern times period. It's got a cellular capability so you don't need a landline because I don't even know that many people that have those anymore. It's got a battery backup so it doesn't have to be hard wired into everything in your house. The door sensors, the window sensors, all of them are easy to set up. They're essentially paired with a hub so you don't have wires running all over the molding and your house. I mean, it's a great system. It's really easy to set up. It's perfect protection for your home and your family. There's no contract. There's no hidden fees. It ends up being really affordable and a super simple setup. I mean, we're talking minutes here. Simplisafe.com/Jordan. S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E.com/jordan. You'll get 25 percent off the system, and to make sure you use that URL, it really does help out the show. This is a really good product. Simplisafe.com/Jordan. The deal ends November 26th so go ahead and get you security before then.
[00:17:41] This episode is sponsored in part by HostGator as the late George Carlin once said, “A house is just a place for this stuff.” So where do you live on the Internet? Where do you keep all your stuff? The photos, the blog posts, the memes, the daily correspondence between you and your 2000 closest friends. The order form for your ugly Christmas sweater knitting side hustle. If it's a free social media account, you're not even renting that house, you're squatting. It, and all your stuff could be gone tomorrow if some bean counter at corporate decides to shut it all down, so stop squatting. HostGator can set you up with a website that'll keep your stuff safe forever. It's as good as owning your own home on the Internet. It's not free, but it's so affordable, it might as well be, and you don't even need technical skills. If you can post to Facebook, you can build a website at HostGator and that's why we recommend HostGator's Website Builder, mobile friendly templates. It's going to look good on the phone. It's going to look good on the iPad, the desktop. You want WordPress, that's one click. PayPal, no problem. SEO, what the heck is that? Don't worry about it. They got a plugin. You'll also get 99.9 percent uptime and HostGator's support team is there to support any issues 24/7, 365, and HostGator's giving our wonderful listeners, that's you, up to 62 percent off all packages from new users with a 45 day complete money back guarantee. And what I really like is you can finally get unlimited email addresses through HostGator's so you can have your name, your wife's name at yourdomain.com you don't need to use that Gmail. You got to signal some professionalism, look like you know what you're doing. So go to hostgator.com/jordan right now to sign up. That's hostgator.com/jordan.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:19:15] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers is what keeps us on the air and to learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. And now let's hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:19:31] All right, what's next.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:19:32] Jordan, I'm a 24 year old, naturally shy female who's found herself in a bit of a social crisis. My work environment is naturally quiet because we all sit in our cubicles all day and don't really speak, and if there's someone at work to talk to, they are at least double my age and there's not much to connect about. Motherhood, menopause, no thank you. I live with a roommate who was at one time my best friend, but we don't talk much anymore, which I won't go into, and I do have a few good friends here and there. I fear I'm no one's go to best friend anymore and I'm looking for mine. I desperately want to go out and meet new people, even just to improve my social skills but don't know where to start and how I can even break out of my shell. Do I meet people my age at a bar? Do I network within my industry? I appreciate any advice. Yours truly, Failing At Finding Friendships.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:20:19] All right, so you're dealing with something extremely common. It's very, very normal, and good news, you can totally work on this. You're 24 you're really young. You're exactly at the age where you start often enough, you start to rewrite your social identity. So let's just appreciate firstly that you're a more internal person. Maybe you say you're naturally shy as you put it. Nothing wrong with that. Know that it does not have to stop you from building meaningful relationships. In fact, it can actually serve those relationships internal or introverted, if you will, if that's a word you want to use. We got a lot to offer. We think about what we're going to say. We think about other people's feelings. Those are some typical qualities.
[00:20:58] Second, it sounds like you want deeper and more varied relationships with people your own age and you call that at social crisis. Okay, I get that, but can we reframe that a little? Can you just be interested in expanding your social world? Can you start to be curious or excited about that? The point is, this doesn't have to be a crisis, it can be an adventure which you're clearly ready to take on based on what you've sent us here. So great. I know you say I desperately want to go out and meet new people, but I don't know where to start, how can I break out of my shell? There are two things here. Breaking out of your shell aka learning how to socialize better and figuring out on a practical level how to meet new people and these go hand in hand.
[00:21:38] First, of course, I love that you want to get better. Use this opportunity as a chance not just to build friendships, but to explore your social identity. This will involve failing, struggling, experimenting, trying learning as you push yourself to talk to strangers, attend events alone, take some classes. I'm a big fan of making a list of skills you've always wanted to learn and go crazy with it. Voice acting, journalism, I did that. I do it, all these kinds of things then. You're not just meeting drunk people at bars or one offs. You're taking a class. Taking a class alone is not weird. You meet people that also want to learn. You meet people that are interested in the same things, like these are good ways to meet people and shake off some of the rust. You can try to find those classes at Meetup, you can just Google classes near you. There's tons of places that you can meet and learn new skills. So worst case you learned a new skill, best case you learned a new skill with some new friends.
[00:22:33] There's also dating apps and I know these can feel a little awkward, but my views on these have changed a lot after hearing how many of my friends have made genuinely cool friendships, especially on things like Hinge, Bumble, this might be a perfect place for you to start. It's on your phone, it doesn't require the sort of in real life interaction immediately, you've got more control over your responses, and don't think of it as dating. Think of it as making yourself available to meet new people. See where it goes and you get to decide, and yes, you will meet people of the gender you select. So that's one limitation. Assuming you're straights, you want a female best friend, probably not going to happen on a dating app. You never know. It will serve your larger goal, which is to meet new people, and yeah, definitely network within your industry, especially the industry you want to stick with. If that is this one, it's never a bad investment.
[00:23:23] You might also find great friends in your industry because you share a common language, if you share the experience, you share a common goal. So yes, absolutely do that. As for wanting a best friend, I get it. I believe you will attract those deep relationships into your life. I would not recommend going out and socializing with this goal in mind. That's where you can start to unconsciously some intense slash pretty needy signals and put out a vibe that you're hunting for a BFF right away. You're not. You just need to find people who share your values, expand your world. You're looking for people that are interesting, kind, smart people who get you, people who you get, and if you connect with them, the BFF thing will happen organically, but don't fixate on that goal. I know, it's a weird Zen thing, like don't focus on the thing and the thing will appear, but that is absolutely the truth, and good luck. You've got this. You seem like a smart, sensitive person who deserves close relationships. We all have to work to open ourselves up to new people and we all need to push past our comfort zones to become the kind of humans who do become best friends of one another. So dive in, have fun and enjoy the process along the way. All righty, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:24:35] Dear Jordan and Jason, I'm 17 years old and I've been working at my gym for two years now. In those two years I've become very ambitious. The plan was always to go to college in 2019, I'm currently on a gap year, work a little to pay off debts and then start my own company. However, my boss has asked me to become the manager of the gym. This would mean I wouldn't be able to go to college. This is a very big opportunity since I would learn a lot about managing a business. I don't know what to do. Take the job or go to college. Thanks for the help and the awesome show. Yours sincerely, Confused Bodybuilder.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:06] All right, Confused Bodybuilder. I would say the going to college question is always kind of tough because I went to college for various reasons and I went to a lot of college for that matter. It depends—
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:19] You went on a lot of college, yeah.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:21] I mean seven plus years, and granted, if you're listening for the first time and you don't know this, I became a lawyer, so I went to law school. I didn't just take seven years to graduate from a four year program. It really does depend on if you already knows what he wants to study. If you're like, yes, I'm highly interested in kinesiology and sports science and they've got a great program at this university, so I'm going to dive into that. Okay, yeah, then go to college. If not, get that manager job. Go to school later because you're going to learn a lot about managing a business, managing a retail gym for sure. Any business that you manage, you'll learn a ton. On someone else's dime, you're going to make a ton of mistakes. You're going to get mentorship because they care about the outcome. If you've got a scholarship, go to college and figure it out there because you're playing with house money and ideally work part time at the gym. You might not be able to do that as a manager, hard to say.
[00:26:10] I wish I'd had more real jobs with real responsibility before going to college. I kind of went because I didn't know what else to do. Everyone else is going, I just mucked around until I got out and in between I traveled a ton because I managed to get the State Department to pay for it. You'll get a lot of experience and insight running that gym. If you do that for a year or two max and then you go to school.
Once you see diminishing returns and what you're learning on the job, that is a lovely plan. It's important, and listen to me here, it is important that you view this manager job as part of your education, live like a student, save the money you make, put it towards school. What you do not want to do is get complacent and settle into this and be like, “Look, I'm 19 years old. I've got this decent job. I'm making more money than my friends are who are in college.” Ideally you parlay this into the gym, paying for your school. If you're working for a larger company, if it's a chain of gyms, maybe they'll pay for your college after you worked there for a while. I don't know if it's just one off small business, hard to say. If you think you might not go to college later because you're getting comfortable managing the gym, then that is the time you give your two weeks’ notice and you enroll in university the very next semester because complacency here is your enemy.
[00:27:29] One big worry I have is you decide, “You know I don't need college. This is pretty cool. I can live on this,” because I'm not saying that there's something wrong with being the manager of a gym. I'm saying if you're 17, and you want to start your own business, there's a lot to be learned managing that business. You might come up with a business idea then but there are a lot of reasons to go to school and you'll know when those crop up. Don't not go because you're thinking, “Oh, starting now, I'm behind all my friends. You've got to forget about that. You're on a different path. And congrats on being much more responsible than I was at age 17, that's for sure. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:08] Hello, Jordan and Jason. I'm a 28-year-old man in the Midwest who's always loved traveling, but I listened to closely to my parents about the importance of a stable job with great benefits. My current employer does pay well and I do have better than average benefits, but I'm bored of my job in the monotony of it all. I've always been a wanderer at heart and I've spent months of time overseas from backpacking to WWOOFing. I had to look this one up. Worldwide opportunities on organic farms. Have you ever heard of that one?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:35] Yeah, I have, yeah. You basically -- it's kind of like a little hippy dippy thing where you get to go and live on the farm and you have to pick fruit and things like that, but they essentially, I think they put room and board and you get one or two days off every two weeks. It's a good way to travel because you can essentially go to like New Zealand and live there for a few months. You've got to work on this farm, but you get a chance to do all this stuff with this international group of people. It's kind of a cool way for especially young people to travel.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:04] That's pretty cool. I wish I'd have known about that.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:06] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:07] So he spent that time learning and growing as an individual rather than a cog in the corporate wheel. I'm wanting to use my experience in education and technology and business management to help me transition into a viable and sustainable digital nomad situation. I have some decent experience in it work, web design, website building, and the various tech aspects that can be outsourced and completed remotely. I have a list of contacts that I've gathered over the years from various jobs and connections, and I've tried to stay in touch with via social media and direct communication. How do I start the conversation on transitioning these casual contacts and base level networks into something in contractual that would support this lifestyle change? Or if this is something I should even be considering at this point in my life because my wife and I are starting to try for children and she has an amazing job that pays really well with little added stress outside of her 45 hours a week for work. Am I crazy for wanting to diverge from the corporate structure to make my own way? Is this a viable venture to follow with my family expecting to expand reasonably soon? If following through with the digital nomad scenario, what would you suggest as your first step? How do I convert or transition my already existing contacts from potentials, clients and customers into steady and consistent clients? Thank you for all that you do. Sincerely, Stuck Between a Rock in a Virtual Place.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:30:23] Wow. So I'll answer these in a different order because these are very specific. One, you're not crazy for making your own way. It might seem crazy and irresponsible at first, but the truth is that the flexibility you're building now so that you can travel, it’s the same flexibility you'll need when choosing to spend a lot of time with your child later on. I think about this a lot, so my business stay at home a lot, work from home, have a studio essentially and what will probably be that kids room at some point. I'm going to spend a lot of time with my kids and I realized that I'm doing a lot now to make sure that I don't have to do the same amount of different types of things later on. I'm getting a lot of travel out of the way. I'm trying to figure out how to work with what we've got location-wise. There's a whole lot of things that I'm thinking about. Building flexibility and building freedom and making sure that I have time to spend with the family. Viability, this is another thing. Look, I'm living proof. You can run your own business even if you didn't plan on doing so. Freelancers, entrepreneurs, we are all over. It is not that unusual. You may need to take a lifestyle hit in other areas though. Maybe you can't eat out as much. Maybe you start traveling and living in the developing world so that you can save on expenses. Maybe you don't get fancy electronics and upgrade your laptop and phone every year. This can make other things possible like working 20 to 30 hours a week on your own stuff and having a ton of free time and spending it with your family.
[00:31:52] And last but not least, the first step is testing the waters. Don't quit anything. Don't quit your job, pitch and sell your leads and contacts and get some business first. Begin the whole freelancer thing as a side hustle and once you're getting so much business that you have to turn it down and it's been consistently that way for months on end, then you can scale back or quit your day job to service these clients as a freelancer or entrepreneur. Do not make any moves physically or emotionally until you know how to sell, you know how to generate leads, you've got business coming in consistency. This is where a lot of entrepreneurs give up. This is where they failed. They don't have the consistency of business and they don't know how to sell and they don't how to generate leads. They get a couple of gigs and they're like, “I'm to quit my job because I'll just get more of these. I'll just get more of these kind of deals.” This is a crucial set of skills, sales and lead gen. Without them, you're going to be so stressed out consistently and it will not be worth it to work on your own. You're going to hate it. Every entrepreneur, business owner that I know that is successful and happy, they know how to sell, they know how to pitch, they know how to generate leads and they know how to sell. If that's missing and you think you're just going to get leads from some other way, make sure that you're right by testing it for a few months while you still have your day job. That is my advice. This whole go all in. Yolo! That stuff that you see on YouTube from entrepreneur influencers, that is bad advice. It is terrible. Don't do it. Test the waters, make sure you got it and then slowly branch out. No shame in that, especially when you got a family. All right, Jason, what's next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:33:31] Dear Jordan, Jason, and Jen. In college, I was actively involved in the university, the College of Business, extracurricular clubs and events and one of the top students in my class. I graduated about seven months ago and now I'm about six months into my career of being a Technology Management Consultant. This is my first job out of college and at first I loved it, but now I'm not so sure. When I first started the job it was extremely fast paced in post challenges and learning opportunities every day if not every hour. Working at this job was like drinking out of a fire hydrant. Now the job has slowed down dramatically in the past few months and so has my learning curve. I constantly feel frustrated and unable to make any headway on my projects no matter what the project is, at this point, I'm wondering if the job is not for me or if I'm just in a post-college slump. When I'm unable to solve any of the problems, I start thinking about going back to college to get a degree in accounting is I'm a consultant for an ERP system that is accounting based and I don't have my degree in accounting. I'm wondering if debating going back to college is my solution because I'm unable to cope with the stress of a challenging job or if I'm not adjusting to being the low woman on the totem pole. Have you encountered other young professionals who struggled their first few years out of college? Do you have any advice on how to cope with the post-college blues and adjustment to the real world? Sincerely, Confused Consultant.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:50] I've got a legitly long answer for this one because I got some help from Gabriel Mizrahi who is in a similar situation in a similar career. Gabriel, Head of Editorial here at the Jordan Harbinger Show and Advanced Human Dynamics. So first of all, you sound like an ambitious, curious and hardworking person. This will serve you really well in life and in your career. Sometimes people like you can be even more frustrated when the work slows down or it gets tough because you actually crave growth and competence. That is a good problem to have. Just know that right off the bat. Management consulting is an especially challenging industry. I know a lot about this. A lot of my friends are ex slash current management consultants. We really got some expertise here on this one because job is rotational. New clients, industries, cities, new teams, every three, six, 12 months, you can get staffed on projects and teams that are really rough only to have a completely different experience on a new project. This is part of the cyclical nature of the job and it's something you just have to accept. Are you able to move to a new project? Do you have any say over staffing? If so, you can always try to pull that card if you need a change of pace. More importantly, I'm willing to bet that the learning curve, which again you clearly love, was very steep in the beginning, which was exciting and fulfilling and masked any dissatisfaction you might've had with the job then the curve levels off reveals the less exciting parts of the job of which there are many in consulting, and now it's all starting to hit you.
[00:36:25] One thing that would be wise to do no matter what would be to tease out the aspects of the job that are really causing you grief. In consulting, there are so many more variables than a normal job.
Your colleagues, your manager, your direct client, contact, your clients, managers, the client's office, your office travel schedule, the location of the client, your internal development, in addition to your client work. It's really intense and oftentimes, especially for new analysts like you or anybody new in any career, those things can get lumped together in your mind and in your heart. And the whole experience can feel crappy even when it's just one or two of these elements. If you have a bad manager and a bad client, but you like the other elements of your job, you might still hate the job. It's also worth noting that technology consulting in particular can magnify some of those crappy elements.
[00:37:15] For example, if you're stuck in a multiyear ERP implementation, you might be stuck on a project you hate for longer than usual and the work is more technical and repetitive. So digging into your main first question here, is this job not for you or are you just in a post college slump? Well, that's what you have to figure it out for yourself, but here are some ways to do that. First, remember your still very new to this job. It's hard to judge an entire industry after six months and even if you feel like the learning curve has leveled off, you still have a lot of room to grow. Those first two years of the analyst program are huge, any job for that matter. You'll be a very different person in 18 months. You'll see more. You'll learn more. You'll try new things, and this might be a nice reminder that putting in those two years at a consulting firm is usually a wise investment. Even if you don't really love it, it's a foundation that'll follow you for the rest of your life. It'll give you an valuable skills for the rest of your career. Most people, most analysts especially don't love the experience, which is sort of sad, but it is very normal, and it at least tells you that you're not alone, and after 18 to 24 months, you'll be in a much better place to decide if that job is or is not for you, and employers and grad school are going to love you because you have job experience.
[00:38:28] One piece of advice, at least give yourself a year, try to make it two, and know that if you continue to hate it, you will not be there forever. That can be enough to get you through it, that alone. I don't advocate being miserable in your career obviously. Life is too short. There are too many meaningful things to do, but the one exception is those first two to three years out of college. That's the only period where I think putting in the time and gaining skills and credibility is more important than your happiness, but only for that time. That realization can be just what you need to get through the rough bits, and remember that maybe your unhappiness here is the sign that this is not what you're meant to do. When you look at it that way, this job is a big gift, a big part of your 20s, is figuring out what you don't want. And regarding the general post-college slump, maybe. You could be experiencing both of these things. It is a tough transition most people don't talk about, and it can be rough. FYI. A lot of my consulting friends said that they were depressed for the first six months in consulting. Kind of like is this all there is? I miss learning for the sake of it.I wasn't ready to be thrown into a firm, et cetera, et cetera. This is a normal slump that might have nothing to do with the job. You might've felt it wherever ever you ended up working, and that's important to know because it's easy to fantasize. The grass is always greener. If you'd only taken that other job at that other place.
[00:39:50] Also, consulting firms especially tend to sell the experience pretty hard to new recruits. A lot of companies do this. Law firms included, they play up the exciting aspects. They play on your desire to be part of an elite career, make you feel like this is where you should be. The experience never lives up to the pitch. You're probably feeling that, like you were told, you'd be transforming companies, developing innovative solutions and really you're just doing process flows in Microsoft Visio for a massive Oracle implementation at Walmart in Arkansas or whatever. Of course, you'd feel let down.
[00:40:25] And regarding your last question, should I go get a degree in accounting? Only if you actually love it. You are so young. You have so many exciting possibilities ahead of you. I would not recommend getting your master's in accounting just to escape the consulting firm. If you hate accounting based stuff, why would you love accounting unless you do love it and you want to pursue accounting in a different way, that's a different story but maybe go for it then. But don't go back to school just because you're unhappy here. That will not lead to the most fulfilling outcome. You already seem to be aware of this in your email, which is great. And side note, it's interesting you mentioned that one of your complaints is being the low woman on the totem pole. This is hard to diagnose by email. I don't know you, but I find it very meaningful that you included this because now I'm wondering if you have a problem being the new gal. I'm not blaming you, I'm just noticing. Is it possible that some of your unhappiness is that you have to be the lowly analyst for a while. You don't have authority, you don't have any power, you don't have any responsibility immediately. If so, know that a necessary stage in any career that you will get that authority. If you work hard and you do well and you're in an industry now especially that is very hierarchical, maybe that's a sign that you should be in a place that is flatter and gives you more authority. Or maybe you need to adjust your beliefs about what you should or should not be doing at this stage in your career. I'll let you figure that out.
[00:41:45] One piece of general practical advice to leave you with. Talk to people, talk to your friends, talk to a handful of trusted colleagues at your level. Ask them if they're feeling the same. Why or why not? How they're coping? Talk to any mentors or counselors or advocates within your office. Most consulting firms will actually have these people and big companies will as well. Open up a bit about what you're feeling. Don't complain, don't tell them everything sucks. Just share in a diplomatic and careful way what you've been going through and see if they have any advice. They may guide you really well. And finally, build relationships with people outside of your firm. Find out what tech consultants like you might go on to in their careers. Maintain connections with friends and family so your identity doesn't get exclusively wrapped up in the job. Very easy to do in consulting and in any big company because it's all consuming. Continue to learn and invest in yourself and grow, but not at the expense of doing well in your field. Bottom line, this job might be wrong for you and that's okay, or maybe it's just a tough gig right now and it'll get better or both.
[00:42:51] Best advice. Make the best of it while you're there. This goes for any job in any career. Know that you don't have to be there forever, that if you leave after one or two years, you'll be nicely set up. And that is one of the huge benefits of working at a big company or consulting firms, is that it really teaches you what you do and do not want out of life, which is one of the reasons so many people want these jobs in the first place. So just move through it with grace and self-awareness while continuing to do the work, work hard, invest in your relationships inside and outside of the firm. And I think you'll be just fine. And I know that was a huge answer. I hope when you dig through this, this goes for any career. This isn't just for consultants. So I hope that -- I think that summarizes a lot of the knowledge that we gleaned from career development, especially early stage. That's it.
[00:43:37] Good news of the week. This sprinter named David Verburg and a Champion Olympic Sprinter. He won the four by 400 meter relay in Rio. He sprints into a busy intersection to save a tortoise and endanger tortoise and it's kind of funny, there's a video that he posted it, but he said my shoes were untied and loose. So as I started running, I low key thought this is a terrible idea, but I already started running, which I think is kind of funny because I imagined myself kind of going like, “Oh, I'm going to go get that.” And then being like, “This was not a good choice.” And kind of like, what was that movie Jason? Where a Will Ferrell goes and buys milk and it's a hot day, and he's like milk was not a good choice.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:20] I don't know. I've never been a big Will Ferrell fan, but it sounds funny.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:23] I'm not either to be honest. Anyway, that's link in the show notes. A little good news the week he threw it back down into some leaves, but honestly it's kind of near another road. So who knows what happened at the end of that, I’m not sure on that choice. That was also not a great choice to put it right next to the road again.
[00:44:40] Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Don't forget, you can email us email@example.com to get your questions answered on the air. Happy to keep you anonymous, of course. A link to the show notes can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Quick shout out to Nicola. She's been using the Six-Minute Networking Course, which by the way is that jordanharbinger.com/course. She's been using that to ask for discounts and things on all kinds of stuff. She's been going through that challenge. She got a quote from a supplier and got a discount, which is amazing. So it's helped your career and personally, and she just never thought to take that step forward and a lot of people don't do this. That's why we ease you into it with Six-Minute Networking. She's been reaching out and creating new connections. Something she says she didn't expect at all. So you're welcome Nicola. I'm glad that's been working out for you. And another shout out to American Dream University. It's a charity I work with to help veterans readjust to civilian life and get things moving for them and their businesses. If you're looking for a good charity to support, check out americandream, the letter u.org, and of course, I'm on Instagram and Twitter @jordanharbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show. Jason, tell them where they can find you as well.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:45:50] My personal website is over at jpd.me and you can check out my tech podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks at gog.show or your podcast player of choice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:58] The show was co-produced with Jen Harbinger and show notes for this episode are by Robert Fogarty. Keep sending in those questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Share the show with those you love and even those you don't. Lots more in the pipe. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time.
[00:46:18] Hey, if you like our show, you're going to love Zane’s World. You know, Jason, this reminds m -- it's supposed to obviously sound like Wayne's World, right?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:24] Of course.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:25] Yeah. So Zane’s World on PodcastOne. World traveler, author and alcohol aficionados, Zane Lamprey. He's well learned in the art of having a good time as he reviews the best attractions and destinations in the globe, and he shares some of his crazy stories behind his travels. So check out Zane’s World every Tuesday on PodcastOne or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
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