If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at email@example.com. Now, let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- What’s so wrong with a lawyer driving an Accord?
- Should you be firm or friendly when you’re a landlord and you’re pretty certain your tenant just lied to you about paying the rent?
- Is protocol for who picks up the check different between Maui and the mainland?
- 24 and thinking of living abroad? You’ll never have less responsibility than you do now.
- How do you start making connections from scratch in a new field?
- When you own your own business, how do you give yourself a raise without making your clients feel like you’re trying to pull a fast one?
- What’s the surefire right way to refer to women?
- Recommendation of the Week: Top Spin
- Quick shoutouts to Nadia and Vik!
- Join the Jordan Harbinger Cabin at the Fireside Conference from September 6th-9th, 2018!
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason’s (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD.
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
Much bigger than sports, “The Big Podcast with Shaq” is fun, topical, and slightly irreverent. Check it out on PodcastOne or wherever you enjoy hearing fine podcasts!
Resources from This Episode:
- TJHS 39: Ryan Michler | Why Man Is His Own Worst Enemy
- TJHS 40: Annie Duke | How to Make Decisions Like a Poker Champ
- Rent a car anywhere with Turo (go to jordanharbinger.com/turo for $25 off your first trip)!
- The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self — Not Just Your “Good” Self — Drives Success and Fulfillment by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener
- Steve Rambam: Tracking Nazi-Era War Criminals
- TJHS 3: Bill Browder | Hunted by Putin
- TJHS 25: Joshua Fruth | The War on Money Laundering and Why You Should Care
- Six-Minute Networking
- The Problem With Calling Women ‘Females’ by Kara Brown, Jezebel
- 6 Reasons You Should Stop Referring to Women as “Females” Right Now by Tracy Clayton and Heben Nigatu, BuzzFeed
- Top Spin
- Jordan Harbinger Cabin at the Fireside Conference
Transcript for Feedback Friday | How to Charge What You’re Worth (Episode 41)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:00] Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger, and I'm here with producer, Jason DeFillippo. Here on the Jordan Harbinger Show, we love having conversations with our fascinating guests. And this week we had Ryan Michler talking about why men generally are our own worst enemy. And Annie Duke talking about how to think in bets, thinking in percentages, concrete decision-making tactics, really, really interesting shows.
[00:00:25] Of course, our primary mission is to pass along the guests and our knowledge and experiences and insights to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have these conversations directly with you, and that's what we're going to do today here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us at email@example.com. And by the way, we've been getting a lot of, let's just say very detailed questions. If you can keep it very concise, that usually helps, because we've got people going through and screening these and if it's three pages long, it's not going to happen. We have to edit these before they go into the copy here, and if it's already concise, great. It increases your chances of getting your question answered, so it's a balance. More is not always better. Friday@jordanharbinger.com is where that's at, and we will try to get to everybody, which is impossible, but we do try. Also, we have an Alexa Skill, Jason. Have you been messing with this at all?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:19] I've got it installed. I actually check it out every morning, and we're doing some upgrades on it soon too. So we're going to be adding new clips and new little bits to it. So definitely you're going to want to check it out to get some of the best of with your morning breakfast.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:32] And where can they install that?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:34] You go to jordanharbinger.com/alexa, and that will redirect you to the Amazon site where you can actually do the installation of the Skill right there, or you can search on your Alexa App for Jordan Harbinger. And we're going to be the only one that comes up and you can install the Skill of right there and it'll be part of your daily briefing.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:53] Cool, all right. Jason, what's the first thing out of the mailbag?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:56] Jordan, I'm an attorney who used to drive nice Lexuses and BMWs. I don't know if they're Lexuses. Should they be Lexi?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:02] I think they should be Lexi, yes.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:02:04] So after crashing my last BMW, I sold it and took over my wife's Honda Accord hybrid lease, but he loves it. It's got every gadget imaginable and it comes with some other benefits, like not going fast enough for me to speed and get tickets.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:17] Or crash.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:02:18] Or crash, yeah. Oh, I've cut this up and he apparently got 10 speeding tickets in his last BMW. So this is really good that he has an Accord, yeah. Now though, my law partner wants me to get a new car because my Accord isn't lawyerly enough. I tested some of the usual fare of Lexus, Mercedes and BMW, but still like my Accord more and clients rarely see my car. So if I have a newer cleaner car, I should be just fine, right? Do I really need to get a lawyer car? Thanks, Love My Non Lawyer Car.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:47] So I understand both sides of this argument and some of the stuff that we cleaned up was his boss is like, “You can't show up in this Honda Accord, right?” He's a little pretentious, and I get it, I get it. I understand you shouldn't have to buy a car to impress people, but the reality is a lot of times people make judgements based on the car. And it does not matter in most industries, but if they're looking at you as a professional, they're going to hire, it may matter. Now, what this means is not that you should buy a lawyer car and even though you love your Accord, and what it means is not that you have to keep one around. I would say use an app like Turo, T-U-R-O, and if you go to jordanharbinger.com/turo, T-U-R-O, they'll give you 25 bucks in rental credit.
[00:03:33] You can rent great cars, and I mean pretty much like anything. You can rent some crazy 400,000 dollars Ferrari if you want to. You can have fun with it for a day, you can bring it to meetings. That's really the best of both worlds. His point, your partner's point is valid that some people make judgments but it's not worth investing in their judgment as a way of life. Obviously, since this is so important to your partner, I think he should be comfortable allowing you to build the cost of a daily rental to your law firm, that's what I think. I don't know if he's going to go for that because he probably bought his own car. But you should go to jordanharbinger.com/turo, T-U-R-O. Get that rental credit, take that for a spin, no pun intended, and see if you like the cars there.
[00:04:15] Because look, they're not a sponsor of the show or anything, but this is a discount code I've set up because I realized a lot of you might want to try to run out some high end cars. You might as well get a discount. And if you've got a bunch of meetings in a day, rent out a car, you've always wanted to test drive, show up to the meeting, everyone will be so impressed, your partner in the client. And then you got this cool car for the rest of the day. But you don't have to spend 200 grand or a 100 grand on a car and 1,000 bucks a month on insurance. So it's the best of both worlds in my opinion, because as much as we don't like to admit that sometimes these things matter, sometimes these things matter.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:49] And I'm going to say in a pinch, if he does have to show up in the Accord, say, “Hey, it's my wife's birthday, and I let her take the Jaguar today.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:55] Total lie.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:57] He’s a lawyer, he should be used to it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:58] Oh, burn, hashtag burn. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:03] Hi, Jordan. I grew up holding high standards, for myself and others around me. For example, if a waiter isn't doing a good job, I would straight up tell them that something is just not acceptable and exercise my consumer rights. This kind of firmness sometimes worked, but it usually created a lot of stress for me as I struggled to understand why people didn't have the same work ethics that I did.
Jordan Harbinger: [00: 05:23] I'm just going to stop you right here. That already sounds kind of annoying.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:27] Yeah. You think so?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:05:28] Yeah, I mean, sorry, but yeah, the consumer, I don’t know, continue. Maybe I'm being judgy.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:35] As I grew more successful with my career and had to be more aware of the quote unquote “softer skills” such as influence, persuasion and leadership. I think I got better at influence for the win-win result while being nice. However, at times I still struggle on whether to be friendly or firm. I have a tenant who is three days late paying their rent in the second month of a new contract. I've been busy with work travel, so I just got around to checking it. I sent him a polite email to ask him to rectify the situation, and he responded relatively quickly to apologize and explain that there was an admin error on their part. But stipulates that the payment has been made and it won't happen again, but he didn't include any proof of the payment. This was around 24 hours ago and I just checked my account. The payment hasn't been yet.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:17] Oh.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:18] Now I should mention that in the UK, there is the faster payment system where all interbank transfers are made instantaneously. This means that with 99 percent certainty he's lied and at the very least, hasn't yet made the payment, even if he intended to. How would you handle the situation in this case? Would you be friendly and assume that he was genuine and that there was just a mistake. Or risk him thinking that he may be able to get away with this type of behavior all the time in the future? Or would you take a more firmer approach and use legal wordings to make sure this doesn't happen again? Now I have landlord insurance, so I'm slightly less worried about the actual outcome. It did, however, make me wonder how I should handle these types of situations when there's a strong likelihood that the other party is taking you for a ride or appearing to be testing boundaries. What should be the best response? Thank you very much and please keep up your good work. Yours, Firm or Friendly.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:07:10] So I know that there's all this new agey wisdom where it's like, “Oh, always be friendly always.” You can always have positive conflict resolution. Here's the truth. The science does not bear that out. We interviewed Todd Kashdan, that episode is coming out in a few weeks. And his book, The Upside of Your Dark Side talks about when anger is more effective and appropriate. And there's science behind this stuff. I would say with business stuff like this, the one strike rule. One time, I'll let it slide to see what's going on, but I will absolutely confront them about it later on if they don't make the payment. If they get away with this stuff, it'll become a habit and they'll keep pushing. So if this happens again anytime in the next, let's say six to 12 months, you should be very firm with them once again.
[00:08:00] Now, the thing that gives me pause, I had mentioned this a little bit in the beginning, is the whole, if a waiter isn't doing a good job, I'll tell them about my consumer rights. I got to be frank. This sounds a bit ridiculous. I'm not sure if things are maybe different over there in the UK. Here, if a waiter isn't doing a good job, it affects their tip. If they're downright rude or terrible, you can ask for a manager, but I just cannot see any situation we're telling a waiter about your legal rights would actually get any other results other than—
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:28] Some extra DNA and your soup.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:08:30] Exactly, exactly. It's hard for me to tell if you're always too firm, and that this is annoying to other people. But in any case, if someone's late with a payment in your business and make no mistake, being a landlord is a business, then you should treat it like a business and be firm right off the bat after perhaps one attempt at being more understanding. If you really do think your tenant is lying, confront them about it. Make damn sure that you get paid time or they're going to continue to take you for a ride in the future as well. Jason, I could never be a landlord, man. Someone would get hurt.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:09:02] Yeah, yeah. That would be like, “Okay, you missed one payment.” We'll let it slide. What's next time baseball bats in the park.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:09:09] I know, I know. I'm just like, okay, look, if you're going to be late, just tell me and tell me why, and look, I broke my wrist and I got no insurance. I understand, but if you're just lazy or you bought Xbox, I will make sure that you are not my tenant for long. That sounds so annoying. You're just babysitting people who have no sense of responsibility when you have it bum tenant like this.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:09:32] Yeah. The problem is a lot of the time the legal rights go with the tenant and not the landlord. I know, so that's the main reason I couldn't be a landlord, is it puts you on unbelievably unequal footing.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:09:43] Especially in California and New York, et cetera. Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:09:46] Yeah, definitely.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:09:47] It’s double edged sword, man.
[00:09:50] This episode is sponsored in part by HostGator. You got to have a stable place on the internet. You can call home. A place you can send people to find you no matter what website is popular this week, or if the social media decides now you've got to pay to reach everybody who wants to hear from you. That's why we recommend HostGator's Website Builder. You can spend an afternoon and create a professional looking feature packed website. Throw your photos up on there, your restaurant menu, your personal resume, whatever it is you want to do. There's no coding. It doesn't mysteriously break because PC load letter or whatever, right? It works. It's got the cool kind of drag and drop. What you see is what you get interface. You can choose from over a hundred mobile friendly templates. So the site's going to look good on your phone, on the tablet, on the desktop, PC Mac. It's not gonna make a difference. It's going to look like a website should.
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[00:11:01] This episode is also sponsored by Microsoft Teams, and Microsoft Teams is your hub for teamwork in Office 365. What does that even mean? It means that Teams is a digital workspace where you guessed it. Teams can create, collaborate, and communicate just like they would in the real world. This is great if you run a business where people work from home, it's great if you run a business with people in disparate offices, with so much to look after and your work life already. Wouldn't it be great if there was just one place online to look? Teams is that single workspace where you can work, share, connects with the people in your work life. It'll bring together your chats, your meetings, your files, your apps, all in one place. Take teamwork where you work with your app for mobile and desktop, so whether you're sprinting towards the deadline, sharing your next big idea Teams can help you and your team achieve even more. Microsoft Teams and Office 365. To learn more, head over to office.com/teams.
[00:11:53] All right, what's up next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:11:54] Hi, Jordan. I was planning a drive from the Bay Area to Santa Barbara and emailed a friend in Paso Robles to meet up for some FaceTime. It's a six hour drive and he's halfway, so we don't get this chance very often. Since I was passing by in the morning, he suggested a place to meet for breakfast. As we were winding down, the server place the check on the table saying, when you are finished, please pay at the register. So I couldn't just throw my credit card on the table. He ended up paying, but it seemed awkward. I did a quick tally in my mind and it was three to two in favor of him paying, so I didn't fight for the check. That's a little strange right there. Instant scorekeeping.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:12:31] Yeah, good point.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:12:32] It was okay for him to pay for three reasons. One, it was his hometown and suggestion.It wasn't the four seasons and the bill was small. Second, I've sent him lots of business, and third, his firm would ultimately pick up the tab. Now, I should have paid for these two reasons. First, it was my suggestion to meet up. Second, he's my go-to CPA for accounting questions. Now, when I lived on Maui, this was so much easier because the rule is simple. The check is never split and the person who was treated is obligated to reciprocate. So this ensures that you will do it again. I did send him a Christmas gift, so the score is settled on this matter, but I anticipate meeting up with him again when I'm driving past. What are the rules here on the mainland? Cheers, Nickel and Dimer at the Diner.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:18] Nice, yeah. Are the rules that different from Hawaii to the mainland? I don't know. I guess I don't spend enough time in Maui, but I like her rationale. It's his hometown. It was his suggestion for the place. She sent him a lot of business. His firm's going to write it off. So it's lead gen, business development, whatever.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:38] But she's the one that initiated the conversation and asked for the meet up.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:42] That's okay. It's not like she went into it going, I bet he'll take me to this really nice place, if I suggest meeting up. It doesn't really matter. I mean that's more of a, “Hey, I'd like to dedicate some time to meeting you in person because we have this business relationship.” I wouldn't say that's a very strong suggest, I don't really think it's that big of a deal. I think this is all sort of break even. It's six of one half dozen of the other for this. So the way that I handle this all the time is if they insist on paying, if it's their suggestion and we're meeting at their place, whatever it is, I'll say, thank you so much. I'll get the next one, so I'm not really obligated to respond. There might not even be a next one because it might be somebody that I see once every three years or something. It doesn't really matter, and I let them pay. Or I'll say, I got this one. You get the next one. Again, even if there's no next one.
[00:14:33] The reason that this works is it levels everything out. It's, “Oh, okay, I'm going to get the next one.” It really doesn't matter. It makes everybody feel fine about it, so if you want to insist on paying, go for it. If they insist on paying, fine, you can just say, I'll get the next one. It moves the relationship forward. It future projection always builds a little bit of comfort. I'll get the next one means, we will meet again in the future. This was a worthwhile investment in a relationship that's continuing. Regardless of whether or not that ends up happening logistically. It's great, and it's so gets rid of the guilt. You don't have to think about who's going to pay, is just whoever thinks they should, and you don't fight over it. If someone insists, let them pay and say you'll get the next one. It really lightens the load, and frankly, I don't see any reason why it matters who pays in 99 percent of the time anyway.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:21] Yeah, but it's a nice responsibility reset.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:15:23] Exactly.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:24] So nobody has to feel bad on either end of the table, especially if somebody ordered a double Moons Over My Hammy at breakfast, it's not really worth getting your knickers in a bunch of out.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:15:33] Exactly, exactly. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:36] Dear Jordan. I'm 24 and live on the West Coast of Canada. Last year, I ended things with my husband after four years together. It was a get married for the wrong reason situation. Even though we did love each other very much. Now that I've gone through the grieving process essentially all winter long, it only had minor flings. I'm definitely still adjusting. I would like some advice as far as direction with traveling abroad now that I'm single. I'd like to do a Europe trip, which I'm thinking about doing in the short term, but I'm mainly interested in going to Australia for a year. I love my job. I work for an airline, but I don't have that home feeling where I live as beautiful as it is. I'm a bit torn whether I should gradually travel using my benefits because that enables me to visit my family easily or just move. I've already downsized all of my things and it would be very easy to store. Any wisdom would be super appreciated. I've obviously been through a lot recently, and now everything is up in the air. I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity, as scary as it can be at times. Thank you so kindly, Directionally Challenged Divorcee.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:38] Oh man, she's 24 and divorced. Okay, there's an upside to this as well.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:16:43] Big upside.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:44] Yeah, exactly. The common refrain that I have here on the show that I know people have heard on Feedback Friday, is you'll never have less responsibility than you do now. You will never have less responsibility than you do now, especially if you're 24, it's a great time to travel for a few years and take advantage. Settling down is great, but you already tried that, too early. Now, you've got to get some of this stuff out of your system before it's time for you to settle down again and have kids if that's what you decide to do. And it's going to look scary, but I'll tell you it will not get any easier later. And I highly suggest you see more of the world, get some new experiences while you're this age, especially if you grew up sheltered and you got married too young and you're thrust into adulthood a little bit too early for like you said, the wrong reasons. So go for it. Bond voyage.
[00:17:33] I traveled a ton in my 20s and even in my early 30s, and now it's like as soon as the business started kicking up and I got a house and I'm married now. I travel a lot but I can't pick up and go somewhere for three months. I just can't do it. I'd have to rearrange so many things in my life to make that work that I don't prioritize it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:17:53] You'd have to give your producers so much more extra work to let you go.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:56] I would.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:17:57] We've tried it with you for a month and a half, and it did work, but three months, no, you're never going anywhere. You're staying home forever.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:18:05] I hear you.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:18:05] I think at 24, I mean my life didn't really start until I was 25, and then I really started traveling. So I think anything before 25 is just a wash, and she's already even got marriage out of the way so she knows that road not to go down for a while, and it is the perfect time to just do whatever is going to make you happy. Travel, go see as much as you can, especially if you work for an airline, and that airline has to have other branches that you can transfer to. I mean if they don't then work for another airline if that's what really tickles your fancy, but get out, go as fast as possible.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:18:41] Great advice, man.
[00:18:43] This episode is sponsored in part by Rhone. You should never have to question your gear, which is exactly why Rhone own created the salient running short sleeve shirt. And frankly, look, this is a great shirt. I love everything that Rhone makes. Jen buys me Rhone stuff all the time. I buy Rhone stuff for myself all the time. It's really well-made. It doesn't pill, it doesn't feel plasticky, but it does have that sort of sporty fabric feel where you can kind of, if you're traveling you can rent it out in a hotel sink and hang it up in the room, and it'll be dry when you get back. You can run in it , work out in it, doesn't stink especially because they run this silvertech threads which essentially is like a silver infused fabric that naturally fights the man stinks, so they weave that directly into the shirt, especially this salient running thing and salient is the first FDA determined fabric to promote blood flow, increase energy endurance performance.Check it firstname.lastname@example.org, that's R-H-O-N-E.com. And our listeners receive an exclusive offer 15 percent off their first purchase, that's you. With the use of the promo code Jordan at checkout, R-H-O-N-E.com. Use Jordan at checkout to get that 15 percent off. Check out the commuter pants, the salient running short sleeve shirt or pretty much anything else these guys make, and you will be happy.
[00:19:54] This episode is brought to you in part by Skillshare. My wife loves Skillshare. Jeez, there's so much stuff on here by the way, of course. First of all, it's an online learning platform with over 20,000 classes in business, marketing, tech, design, and more. Jen did something like organize your bookshelf and she was doing that for the weekend, and there was all this DIY stuff on there that she got into.
[00:20:16] You can learn about video editing, you can learn about audio editing. She's doing that now. You can take classes in social media, marketing, data science, web development, you name it, they've got it. I mean 20,000 classes . I challenge you to find something they don't have and if they don't have it, you should make it and make some money with them because they got that going on too. So whether you're trying to deepen your professional skillset, you're trying to start a side hustle, you're trying to explore a new passion, you want to organize that bookshelf. Skills here is there to help keep you learning and thriving. And like I said, my wife is super obsessed with this thing. It's really, really fun to use. It'll suck you right in in a good way. I mean, look, you're learning, it can't be bad.
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[00:21:21] Next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:21:22] Hey, Jordan and Jason. I've been a huge fan of your show and I've been listening for a long time. I especially love the shows with people like Steve Rambam, Bill Browder, and Joshua Fruth. All the criminal finance stuff is super interesting to me. You see, I really want to get into forensic accounting. I'm going to school, on my way to get my CPA and doing everything I can to do academically. The problem is I don't know anyone in the field and I know from listening to this show that who you know can make a big difference in success. So my question is how do I start making connections with people in this career when I have no foundations? Sincerely, Account Me In.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:21:28] Clever. All right, so this is a good plan. Getting started now is important, especially in a field like this, which is a subfield of a larger, broader industry like accounting. You have to dig the well before you're thirsty. You should be familiar with that concept by now. Having listened to the show for even just a few weeks, or a year as you've heard it a million times. Cold outreach is a great way to do this. You can really asking for referrals in your network. You can use things like LinkedIn. If I were in your situation right now, I would make a list of people that you find in the criminal finance world. And I would reach out to people like Joshua Fruth, and say, “I heard you on the Jordan Harbinger Show. I want to get into the industry, what would you do if you were in my position?” Strike up conversations with him, ask him if he knows other people in that world who to whom you could ask questions.
[00:22:46] You're going to find an in based on doing that, and all you need to do at that point is follow those leads. If you go to advancedhumandynamics.com and you click on level one, there are scripts there for outreach. There is scripts there for reaching out to guys like Fruth that you sort of know from the show. There are scripts there for cold outreach. There are ways to follow up. This stuff is important and digging the well now before you're thirsty and trying to get a foothold in the industry is a great way to do it. I highly recommend taking action and like I said, reach out to Joshua. Literally do it. He'll be stoked to hear from you.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:20] And a little bit of trivia here, which I thought was pretty funny that you mentioned the Steve Rambam episode.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:24] Oh yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:25] That was literally the first show that you and I co-hosted together when I joined the previous show.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:30] Oh my gosh, that's crazy. That was a long time ago, I guess.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:32] Yeah, yeah. Because I was a huge fan of Rambam, and you're like, come on, you can do it, co-host with me. And then we did it together and it was just a ton of fun. So I appreciate you letting me join the team for that one. That was a ton of fun.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:46] Wow. And now here we are.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:48] Here we are.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:49] All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:50] Hi, Jordan and Jason. I wanted both your advice on how to professionally and fairly go about making a price increase on my services. I'm a solo entrepreneur in residential cleaning and have a wait list of referrals. I've got it all down to an art. I'm punctual, consistent and quick. And while maintaining the quality my clients love, I really value my job. I get to listen to podcasts and audio books most days while I work, I set my own schedule and hours, and I answer to myself. However, given my experience in the field, nine years, in quality of work I provide, I don't feel my rates are high enough. I want to give myself an hourly raise. I'm not sure how to go about doing this without sounding like I'm trying to sell my reasoning to my clients. I just want to sound confident.
[00:24:32] Any tips on how to prepare my notice on the cost increase? Should I set the increase for an arbitrary date, or should I make the commencement date, January 1st, 2019? Any advice is valuable at this time. Thank you both. PS, you to make my day. Jordan, for your quick whiten honesty. And Jason, for your more tender take on things and always being so kind and a good example to Jordan. I kind of pick up that you're his rock and that he doesn't thank you enough for all you do. I hope I'm wrong. Thank you both for being who you are in sharing that with all of us. Sincerely, I Want a Raise.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:10] You know you could have cut that part out of the question, but you left it in there. Gee, I wonder why you did that.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:15] Because I'm the producer.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:16] Yep, that's your artistic license. All right.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:19] Yes it is.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:20] So do give yourself a raise, give your clients enough notice and transparency. Here's how it'll sound, so I'll just number this out. One, hi, I've been with you as a cleaner for X number of months or years. Two, I've seen a dramatic uptick in business, which I hope is attributable to the quality of my service. Three, due to the amount of new business, I've had to take on some other administrative expenses in order to keep my services at the level you as a client would expect. And four, starting on the, I don't know, let's say 60 days from now, whatever sort of notice period you want to do 30, 60 days, our pricing will increase from X dollars an hour to X plus whatever dollars an hour, or however you price your services. Five, I look forward to working with you for many years to come and here's the key step. Step number six, this is important. PS, please let me know if the increase in cost of services is not within your budget, and I will happily refer you to another professional colleague whose services are also second to none. That's really important. That is the key.
[00:26:24] Letting them know that if the increase in cost is not within their budget, you'll refer them to another person. This does a few things. A, it shows how long you've been around and how long they've been happy. B, it shows that other people are happy with you, so social proof. C, it gives them transparency into why you're increasing your rates or least one reason why. And D, it gives them notice. So you're not springing it on them last minute. You should also note on all of your invoices that the rates will go up and when the rates will go up, when that's going to happen.
[00:26:55] So they can't play dumb in two months when they say, “Oh, I never saw the email, you're just springing this on me. It's not fair.” No, it's on all the invoices, you've seen it four times down front. Also, last but not least, it's solidify as you're interested in continuing to work with them, but not price them out deliberately. And it also shows this is an across the board price increase for everyone and you're not giving anybody an exception or anything. And I realized that PS part, it sounds counterintuitive, like what you're going to refer your own customers to someone else. Why would you do that?
[00:27:24] Here's why. You might make one to two referrals to someone else. You might even make a handful maximum. This person who you refer to is going to love you forever. They're going to be able to help you out in a pinch. They might even help you generate business later down the line, but what will likely happen is that your current clients will see that you mean business. You're not bluffing. This is basically a polite way to say, my price increase isn't negotiable and I'm basically firing people as clients who won't pay me my new rate, but I'm not going to leave you hanging. And most people aren't going to take you up on this. They're not going to ask for that referral. They trust you to do a good job. You're in their house, you don't steal, you don't break stuff, you actually do your job. This type of trust with someone who works in your home that is not easily replaced.
[00:28:07] Most people will gladly pay additional funds to retain someone who does a good job and who they can trust. So as scary as it sounds, if you've got a waiting list of new business, you should give yourself an upgrade. And if your existing clients won't get on board with that, then you can get them on board with another service provider without making them angry, without leaving them hanging, and without having to hold onto a client who's just being cheap and not paying you what you're worth. Now, let me know when you're ready to send me a check for my consulting services, and I'll get you my address.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:36] Oh, that's so funny. I'm going to use this on some of my clients soon, so actually this is really good advice. I'm going to take your advice, believe it or not.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:44] I'm not sure if I wanted. Now I'm a little nervous.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:48] Trust me, Jordan. It won't be on my invoice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:50] All right, let's do it. Next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:52] Dear Jordan, I wanted to offer some gentle constructive criticism. You have a verbal tic, which I noticed in spades in your episode with Vanessa Van Edwards. You call men guys, but women females, not 100 percent of the time obviously, but often in it's hurting your podcast. I know you don't mean to do this. You are so awesome and respectful, but here is how it sounds, clinical and dehumanizing because female can refer to any species and does not typically refer to humans, especially not as a noun. If that sounds hyperbolic, try saying males instead of guys in that same conversation. See how weird that sounds? It's kind of like calling someone a white or a black to borrow from an intersectional issue. While discussing human dynamics does lend itself to more clinical language, here at least it's a one sided choice, and registers instead as frat boy nomenclature reinforcing rape culture.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:43] Ah wow. That's a little harsh, but okay, continue.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:46] That escalated quickly. Again, I know you don't mean to do that, but I also know I'm not the only woman who notices. Maybe you want to try consciously substituting women ladies or gals into those speech patterns instead. Also, I would love it if you could share this as a sort of public service announcement on Friday for other well-meaning folks who do the same thing. Additionally, I know I'm pushing my luck here. It might be worthwhile to craft an episode about troubleshooting being part of the patriarchy in a Me Too era. I hope this helps. Francesca, Friendly Feminist Fan, and she added a few links that we'll put in the show notes for further reference.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:30:21] Okay, cool. Yeah. Jezebel and BuzzFeed. All right, well we'll see. Look, honestly, I struggle with this sometimes. I'm probably not going to do a patriarchy episode because I really, that's sort of out of my wheelhouse here. But I have tried ladies, gals, females, but I really should just stick with women because it always sounds confusing no matter what I say. And I do realize it, females sounds a bit, bro. I never had thought about that before. I started getting feedback like this and I got some recently, and I think it's partly the Me Too era is causing people to be more sensitive about this. And rightfully so, if it's making people feel uncomfortable or weird. I also realized that gals and ladies can sound patronizing.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:31:01] We've actually gotten feedback to that point. We've gotten a lot of emails in when you call women gals, people complain. I mean, we've got a lot of feedback on that before then. I know that's why you stopped using that word, just from knowing you for so long. So that's why you kind of went outside of using gals all the time, even guys and gals together, but gals, we've got so much feedback on that it became a problem.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:31:23] Yeah, yeah. I think a lot of men have this problem recently. Like I said in there, there are tons of women who never think about this stuff, and then there are other women like Francesca who think about it all the time. In any case though, I appreciate you caring enough to write in about this, although I can't promise this one will stick for me right away. Jason's going to kick my butt and make sure that this does work out in the way that it's supposed to. How tell you though this question, this feedback brings up a lot of confusing stuff for men because I think universally, us guys are like, wait, what the hell is okay now? And there's a lot of pushback on this, but I also think it's okay to have, I don't like to overuse the word revolution, but it's okay to have evolution in words that we're allowed to use.
[00:32:09] For example, when I grew up, you are allowed to say that's where the blacks live, and now you don't do that. And if someone says that and they're 70 years old, most people aren't going to get offended. But if you do it, and you're 25, you should probably know better. And so I'm all about trying to figure this out in a way that everybody can be made happy. On the other hand, I also worry about the slippery slope kind of going down the Jordan Peterson route here with some of this stuff. So these weird times where a lot of this stuff can really have negative connotations. And I think there's a problem because there's almost no right way to do this. There's a very thin line and if you step off of it, you can really get your ass handed to you.
[00:32:53] So I appreciate the kid gloves with this note, and I would encourage people to be a little bit more understanding on both sides of the fence, frankly. Because I think that if you try to police this language too much, it could become a big problem. But I also don't think that doesn't mean we should try it all. And so I don’t know, it's a balance and it's a tough one, especially for somebody who speaks in public to try to get it right. Recommendation of the week. Jason, have you seen Top Spin?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:33:18] I've seen Top Gun.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:33:20] No, it was about a little different. Top Spin is about table tennis, which I thought, oh, this is going to be so dense. But it's about these kids who are trying out for the Olympics. It's freaking fascinating. And watching them play is crazy, I mean these are kids who leave school at noon, travel all over the world to play table tennis, so really kind of an isolating sport and they're just incredible at this.
[00:33:45] Competition is insane. Obviously the Chinese dominate this kind of sport, and even in the United States the top players are Asian American women, a lot of them. It's just an incredible kind of look into this thing. We never think about it all. It's called Top Spin. It's on Netflix. I know it sounds weird but it's really, really interesting and good. I think you'll like it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:34:05] All right, I'll check it out.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:06] Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Don't forget, you can email us email@example.com to get your questions answered on the air. We're happy to keep you anonymous and please keep them short if you can, and if you can’t, just realize that anything over a few sentences or paragraphs is going to be harder for us to answer, which means it might not get answered at all. So try to toe that line between enough information and way too effing much.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:34:33] Yeah, we don't need the life history of your hamster. Just to make a point for the basis of your question, we've actually had that. That's okay.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:40] Oh yeah, we did. We got that. That was real. A link to the show notes for this episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Quick shout out to Nadia in Saudi Arabia. She's listening to the show. I thought we were banned there. I know we were blocked in Dubai, or at least we were. So anyway, shukran for listening. And Vik, who went to my elementary school, recently found the show, was surprised to hear that the kid who used to hang out at the top of the jungle gym is now streaming into his ears during his long runs and mountain climbing expeditions. He's climbed all the top peaks on every continent. That's no small feat. That's insane, right? Crazy.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:11] Crazy.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:12] Come a long way from the jungle gym, Vik. I'm on Instagram and Twitter, @jordanharbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show, and Jason, tell them where to find you.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:20] I am on Instagram at JPD, Twitter as jpdef, and you can check out my other podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks, every Monday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:27] So keep sending in those questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Before I bounce, I want to let everybody know about this conference I'm going to, in Canada. It's called the Fireside Conference. So the website has firesideconf, like conference.com/jordan. We have a 16 spots earmarked for people from the Jordan Harbinger Show community. Your application skips to the front of the waiting list. You get 500 bucks off. It's an invite only all-inclusive retreat for top performing entrepreneurs, founders, innovators, influencers, media. It's about three hours from Toronto, Canada, on 750 acres of private green space on an awesome Lake.
[00:36:04] So some of the people going, top angel investors, bestselling authors, futurists, founders and CEOs of some fast growing global startups, investors from North America's top VC firms. It's a limited to 400 people. They sell it out. This year we're inviting an additional a hundred people to apply and attend and be part of the incredible community. And so you should check this out. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be speaking. Jason, you're going to be there too, ey?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:27] I'm going to be there. So you can, you can come and commiserate with me while Jordan's speaking, and I'm carrying his bags.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:34] There you go. Yes, firesideconf.com/Jordan. It's September 6th through 9th, 2018. September 6th through 9th. It's going to be super fun and I can't wait.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:44] I can't wait either. This is going to be a blast.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:46] Keep sending those questions to email@example.com. Share the show with those you love and even those you don't. We've got a lot more in the pipeline. I'm excited and Jason is also excited to bring it to you. And in the meantime do your best to apply what you hear on the show, so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time.
[00:37:04] This episode also sponsored in part by Shaq. Well kind of, have you checked out The Big Podcast with Shaq, lately? Of course, Shaq and the team taught basketball and sports, but it's not all about sports. Shaq talks, movies, TV, music, what's happening in his life. Maybe a little gossip. Some of his past guests include Chris Webber, Rob Gronkowski and Rob Riggle. Make sure you check out The Big Podcast with Shaq every Monday, exclusively on Apple Podcasts, the PodcastOne App, and PodcastOne.com.
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