If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now, let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- How do you deal with constant negativity when you’re surrounded by it almost 24/7?
- How do you keep yourself up to date with real-world issues, remove the noise or work around it, and decide what to focus on and when?
- Is there body language that can counteract your naturally intimidating appearance?
- How can you offer to correct someone’s grammar without being offensive?
- Is there anything wrong with maintaining distance when you’ve fallen out of touch with some of the people in your network? Is it possible they became “weak and dormant ties” for a reason?
- If you don’t have a degree, how can you market yourself in a way that will bypass the resume gatekeeper and at least get an interview?
- How do you make it clear to your friend that texting and driving endangers lives?
- As haggard old-timers, what is the number one thing we wish young people understood today?
- Moving from a small town to the big city and networking in an industry can be a huge adjustment. What tips do we have for making the transition?
- Recommendation of the Week: Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age
- Quick shoutouts to first-month law student Carroll, shrewd negotiator John Schantz, The Tony Hawk Foundation, and American Dream University!
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at email@example.com!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
- Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
- Have Alexa and want flash briefings from The Jordan Harbinger Show? Go to jordanharbinger.com/alexa and enable the skill you’ll find there!
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
Resources from This Episode:
- Special Guests Dino and Bam Bam
- TJHS 99: Todd Garner | Getting Big Stuff Done in a Small Talk Town
- TJHS 100: Jason Calacanis | Advice from the Most Successful Angel Investor
- Fireside Conference
- The 20 Canned Rosés to Order Online This Summer by Elizabeth Buxton, Refinery29
- Reddit: The Front Page of the Internet
- The 10 Best Free RSS Reader Apps in 2018
- Sitwell’s Job Offer to GOB, Arrested Development
- Matt Dillon in There’s Something about Mary
- Aaron Burr, Sir, Hamilton
- Double Dragon, Good Bad Flicks
- Johnny Cage vs. Scorpion, Mortal Kombat
- Grammar Girl
- Gabriel Mizrahi
- Darwin Awards
- TJHS 36: David Burkus | How to Become a Networking Superconnector
- The Great Courses Plus
- Here’s What It Looks like When You Replace Photographers with iPhone-Wielding Reporters by Jakob Schiller, Wired
- Kiki Challenge Fails
- 5 Simple Ways To Break Your Phone Addiction In 2018 by Therese Schwenkler, HuffPost
- Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier
- Triple J Radio Stream, Radioau.net
- Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age
- TJHS 90: Jonathan Haidt | The Danger of Good Intentions and Safe Spaces
- Alex Kouts Negotiation Series: 1, 2, and 3.
- The Tony Hawk Foundation
- American Dream University
Transcript for 101: How to Stop Your Friend from Texting and Driving | Feedback Friday (Episode 101)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:00] Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. I'm here with producer, Jason DeFillippo, with special guests, Dino and Bambam who are in the studio today.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:00:09] You might hear a few barks and wines in the background. I'm sorry about that, but we're recording late because it's a special episode for us for Feedback Friday, episode 101 after episode 100.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:22] That’s right. Which is pretty crazy, right? I can't even believe we've done that many episodes so far, and yet I also kind of can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:00:30] Do you have any idea how many miles you have booked on travels since we actually started this show in February? I mean, it's got to be hundreds of thousands of miles.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:41] Yeah, it's really a lot. I've flown a lot. I've done over a hundred other shows, appearances on other people's shows, well over a hundred from home and traveling. We have already booked out the entire year, it is now September. We've already booked out the rest of the year for our guests here. We've got huge plans. We've got a product. We've got our live event coming up in the middle of November in Las Vegas for Advanced Human Dynamics, which is filling up really quick. We did a lot of stuff, man, since February.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:14] We've been pretty busy. I moved across the entire country, set up an entire new studio and a new place in Los Angeles, which you just got to check out last week--
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:23] That’s right.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:00:01:23] For last week's Feedback Friday, which was fun. And we have been busting our butt for the last couple of months. And I think that we should get a little pat on the back from ourselves for making this happen.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:36] Yeah, I agree. And we had the old show try and stop us from doing the new show. They're still trying to do it and we're just not doing that. We're not stopping. We're going to counter and disagree.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:48] Hey, nobody's stopping us. No.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:01:49] No. So it's kind of funny. It's kind of funny to watch the old show go down and like in a flame of ego and watch this show take off with no strings attached, which is so nice.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:02:03] Oh man, so nice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:03] It's pretty sweet. Yes, and there's a lot more we can talk about that more, but I think a lot of people just want to hear what's in the mailbag. This week we had Todd Garner talking about how to make it in a cutthroat industry and that was kind of near and dear, and Jason Calacanis episode 100 talking about angel investing. What investors are looking for in founders, what founders should look for in investors, a rags to riches story, and of course, the story about coming back from destruction as well, which is also near and dear and that was done live at Fireside Canada, which was a hell of a lot of fun doing live shows, man. I'm telling you. That's in my future too.
[00:02:38] Our primary mission is to pass along our guests and our experiences and insights to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you. That's what we're going to do today here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Try to keep them concise. You all have been doing a really good job of that by the way. It does increase your chances that the question's going to get answered on the air. So you all have done really well with that. And man, already episode 100, you're right, we deserve a pat on the back. There's something to that.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:10] No, I'm really proud of the team and everybody coming together and sacrificing and just doing everything that we needed to do to get where we're at right now.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:19] We had people working for free. We had people working for half pay. We had volunteers doing the worksheets for a long time. Thank you guys. We busted our butts. We worked seven days a week. A lot of us, we've really burned the candle at both ends, loved not quite every minute of it, but love most of it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:35] No doubt.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:36] And there's just a lot more that we can do now. Now that we have a--
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:40] A great team.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:41] A great team.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:42] We have a great team, and hopefully, we'll get more of the old team back soon because we miss them.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:47] All right, Jason, what's the first thing out of the mailbag?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:49] Hey Jordan, Jason, and the team. How do you deal with constant negativity when you are surrounded by it almost 24/7? I have a coworker in 50-50 business partner who's quite a negative person. Her personal life is a mess and her favorite words are, “I can't.” We've been together in this venture for four years and although I can see some progress with her, it's not the progress I wish to see. I'm the type of a guy who's constantly progressing and developing. I love to read books, listen to podcasts. I work out. I'm visiting a therapist who's helping me with discovering myself and dealing with my past and stuff. The old amorphous stuff.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:04:27] Ah, the stuff.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:28] I decided to choose a lifestyle of personal development seven years ago. I came a long way and I feel good about myself. The feeling that I'm moving forward and developing is like air to me, and I'm proud of it. I'm extremely allergic to the words I can't or it's impossible or it can't be done. In my opinion, 97 percent of the time, these words are lame excuses because people don't want to move on or get out of their comfort zone or they prefer to stay in a place or state that's familiar to them. Although in reality they suffer and sometimes you can see the suffering having a toll on their physical and mental health. I accept that certain people don't want to move on and that's fine, but lately I can't stand the people around me that I'm directly connected with. I love them dearly, but they're constantly searching for excuses not to move on. I have this weird feeling that they're holding me back. Often, I remember the saying, “You're the average of five people you spend the most time with.” And I get the shivers because somewhere down in my heart I know this is true. It makes me sad because I have three people that I hang out with, and two of them are negative. It makes me sad that I found myself in this kind of situation, but at the same time, I refuse to give up on people who are like family to me. After five days of spending working hours in the same office with my negative coworker, I get fatigued. On Friday, my girlfriend comes home because she works and lives in a different city and love her dearly. She's kind, loving, and gentle, but after the honeymoon phase ended, I start to see a similar pattern as my coworker. Everything is hard, everything is bad. Life is a drag. People are taking advantage of her. She remembers only the bad news. You get the picture? I tried to help her, but she doesn't listen to my advice. I recommended she visited a therapist, but she doesn't believe that a therapist can help her. I can see how her past is holding her back today, but I just can't get through. In a way, I kind of gave up trying because although the theme of her struggle may be different, the feeling of heaviness stays, and lately I feel like our relationship became soaked with this low vibe. I'm tired. I love both my girlfriend and my coworker very much, but I'm wondering how much longer I can take it. Is this normal? Any advice will be much appreciated. Cheers, No More Negative Nancys.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:53] Yeah, it's heavy duty. There's a lot there. My goodness. So first of all, you can't resist the influence of others around you, negative or positive. Unfortunately, you just can't. It seeps in, I've talked about this before. I've given a million analogies, metaphors and examples. So the other thing -- the other end of this is don't beat yourself up too much. I spent years around horrible negativity. People who didn't want to do the work, spent their lives talking smack about other people behind their back, including me, blaming others, complaining all the time, et cetera. I ran a business with people who've done a lot of those types of things, so I feel your pain. If she won't see a therapist, even though she's miserable, she's going to drag you down. You can lead a horse to water. You know what I'm saying? You have no responsibility to put up with this.
[00:07:36] This is not normal human condition. I know you're asking yourself, are you the weird one? No, this sounds like depression, but also just a poor mindset of negativity. If these folks won't let you pull them up, you have to pull yourself out. This isn't just you if it's consistent. So here's a test to see if it's just you. See what other close friends think of these same people's attitude. If they also perceive these same people as negative, well there's your answer, and the people you ask have to know those other people really well, they can't just be your friends or they're like, “Well yeah, from all the smack you've talked, they seem really negative.” Find people that know both of you or all of you. You have to draw boundaries for your own sanity. If you don't, you're going to end up in the same bucket of negativity as them and you're going to go, how did I get here? I used to be so positive. It's going to be much harder for you to pull yourself out later down the line.
[00:08:28] So figure out what you need to do. Ask other people what they perceive the situation to be, and no matter what, you need to pull yourself out if you're not feeling good about it. That's just the way it is. I know it seems hard. I know you feel like you're leaving your friends, you're not being loyal. You can still be there for them without being around them 24/7, and sacrificing your own mental health. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:51] Hey, Jordan and Jason. I'm 22 years old, living alone, and I'm much at a point where I'm looking for what I want to do with my life. I also recently left a very professional security job of two years where expectations were high and morale was very low. I climbed the ladder for four years and I was very proud of myself for a time, but even from the beginning I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't invested in the job. Now, I'm in this transition period looking for ways to refocus my energy. I have a lot of ideas that I'm already looking into and I believe I'm on the right path. Something I continue to come across through research is that I'm not aware of my surroundings as much as I should be. I consider myself to be an introvert and I don't watch the news because I don't believe everything that is aired. You must watch Fox News a lot. I'm not on social media very much and I'm not really involved in any groups or social gatherings, less I waste valuable time that could be used elsewhere. My old boss used to always talk about how what you watch and what you listened to really affects you long term, and I take that to heart.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:09:56] Smart man.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:09:57] Yeah, very smart. So I've been building up a daily routine to work towards my goals, but I feel like I need some sort of news outlet so I know what's going on around me. Like how else would I have known that sand is crucial to our society other than listening to your podcast.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:10:14] Right.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:10:13] Trust me my friend, nobody else would have known that. Very much appreciated. But how does one stumble upon something so rarely recognized? My question to you is how do you keep yourself up to date with real world issues, remove the noise or work around it and how do you decide what to focus on and when? Any advice for a young girl just trying to build herself would be much appreciated. Absolutely loved the show. Can't say enough about how you've impacted my life. Thanks a bunch, Getting Above The Noise.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:10:44] First of all, I love you. You're an over-thinker, you're in good company.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:10:49] Oh, yeah.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:10:49] This is a great message and it really made my day, so thank you getting above the noise for sending this in. I'm really glad we could help shape the course of your life. That's really freaking awesome honestly. I'll tell you. I watched some programs like Vice News, they lean a little bit left, but they do longer format.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:11:05] A little bit?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:11:06] A little bit, little bit. But they do -- look, there like millennials do in the news, right? But they do longer format stories about important things while doing a quick run through of the important things that day. It is on HBO though. If you don't have HBO, it's not going to help you. Another thing I do is I check a Reddit's front page. A lot of its junk, some of it's funny, some stuff is just cute or really interesting. But the big news stories have the date almost always are up there, and they'll also usually link to an article from a real news source, like ABC or even Al Jazeera or something like that. That's explaining what's happening and I find that a quick run through of this is a great way to stay connected without getting sucked into political drama, celebrity BS, or just a litany of depressing goings on around the world that I can't anything about, that are just fluff time. As you know, when I want to learn more about something, I tend to do a deep dive into it by reading a good book or 10 on the subject. And I do get why you feel a bit disconnected because most people absorb news constantly, but you're right, it's largely a waste of time.
[00:12:10] A lot of times, look, I'm not a very up to date on everything that's happening, but since so much news is just a melodramatic bologna garbage can use to fill air time so they can sell ads. I don't really think I'm missing out on much and honestly you probably aren't either. I get it. There's a little bit of, “Gee, I should know more about what's going on.” Here's to the low information diet though. I think you don't need to know everything about everything. Big news stories will pull bubble their way up. You can ask friends that are news junkies, what's going on. You do not have to spend that much time staying up to date and cheers to the low information diet. I'm literally drinking, Jason. I'm drinking Rosé in a can right now. I just noticed I'm tricking Rosé in a can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:12:55] Oh my God. Have you moved to a trailer park? What happened?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:12:59] I can't tell if I'm a sorority girl, if I'm a Kardashians or if I'm just like complete, I don't even know where I'm going with Rosé in a can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:11] Rosé, I don’t even know they made that.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:11] I'm like a broke white girl.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:15] Oh, God! Two Broke Jordans. That's the new show. It’s coming up.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:18] Two Broke Jordans. Geez.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:19] So it's funny because we actually talked about doing a show together for a long time where I would come to you with the news of the day because I know all of the news that's happening because for my other show, I read everything. I read thousands of articles a week and you read nothing about the current events.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:13:39] Right. I read loads of books, but I don't read news articles. I just never do.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:43] Yeah, and we're going to do a show like what does Jordan know is going to be kind of like a game show where nobody won. But it was going to be one of those things because yeah, you totally are on the low information diet, and trust me, I would love to be on the low information diet, but I have another show that requires me to be on the was the Metamucil information diet where I get everything.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:14:08] You're so regular, Jason. Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:14:10] I am so regular. But I want to tell getting above the noise one thing. If you really want to get into the news and have it filtered for your tastes, get an RSS reader. Like a for Mac, there's one called Reeder, it's R-E-E-D-E-R, and go to the websites that you agree with because obviously there are some things that you don't agree with because you don't believe everything that's out there and put those in your RSS feed and when you wake up, have some coffee and want to see the news of the day. You can scroll through them, just look at the headlines and if you feel like looking at the entire article, you can click on it and read the entire article. But it just gives you headlines of the day from the different news sources that you are into.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:14:57] Well, how do you get perspective from sources that you disagree with?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:01] That's exactly where I was going because--
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:15:04] Oh nice.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:04] There's this thing called the filter bubble where you can actually have an echo chamber of only seeing new sources that you agree with, so your worldview kind of collapses. And when you read all of those articles from the new sources that you select, then you have a filter bubble and you're only seeing the things that you have that reinforce your worldview, which is it's an echo chamber and it grows and it grows and it grows. And that's a problem that we have with social media right now. So what I recommend and what I do is for every one news source that you agree with, you add a new source that you disagree with. So as you're going through your news for the day, you can actually get up to speed on the news of the day and see differing opinions and that will keep you balanced. But it's one of those things where you can control it. That's why an RSS reader is great. RSS is the unsung hero of the Internet and but it does power podcasting, so we love them for that. And it can give you a perspective that you can control every day and like expand your mind. And if you wake up in the morning and you're like, “I don't care about any of this crap.” You can just hit mark all is red and move on. But if you have that desire to know what's going on around you, that is the best way that I think to do it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:32] Not bad. I did get.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:16:35] All right.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:35] So that's sort of the high information diet with expert level filtering, whereas mine is like just ignore everything.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:16:41] Exactly, yeah. This is like surgical news. It's basically surgical news because I read 5,000 articles a week and they are all surgically placed from news outlets that I need to see. And if you really want to get the news, you have to have that balance. You cannot just have the source that believes everything that you believe because that is going to make you a really, really strange person.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:11] Yeah. Well, you're just going to have that weirdo confirmation bias that a lot of people--
Jason DeFillippo: [00:00:17:16] Exactly.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:16] Who only read one news source have where they're like, “I can't believe these darn liberals,” or like “Republicans are all racist.” Like those people only consume one or two sources that agree with their political worldview, so they're in shock that anybody would ever agree or consume anything else. And so that's why it seems like other people who have different beliefs are actually just completely unreasonable other than just having different opinions or more nuanced take on something because they only consume those extremist sort of sources. That's it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:17:49] This is Feedback Friday, and we'll be right back after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:53] This episode is sponsored in part by Omigo bidet. Jason, didn't want to take part in this ad because he's like, I don't want water squirted on my bum, and yet now I know what you're thinking. Wait, is this really an ad for a bidet? Is it April 1st? Is this some kind of joke? No, it's not. Omigo is, first of all, they get that. It's kind of weird to shoot water at your butt after you go to the bathroom. So the packaging is fun, the marketing is really fun. I will admit I've got bidets on every toilet in my house except for one, because I know that the one that's in the guest area, people are like, “Nah.” They're never going to use it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:18:28] That's the one that I go to when I stay at your house.
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[00:19:53] This episode is sponsored in part by Purple, my favorite color. Here's the question. How did you sleep last night? Did you spend the night tossing and turning? Were you dreaming about me the whole time? Probably. Anyway, stress, pain, not related to those dreams about me, I hope, can keep you up at night, and I get on it -- Before I used to wake up with a stiff neck, some people wake up with back pain. I've definitely spent way too much on mattresses in the past and had crap sleep, and sleep is really important. You can't be as productive. You can't be working out as hard at the gym. If you're struggling to get a good night's sleep, you got to try this Purple mattress. First of all, this company has experienced, they've been in business for 30 years making lots of medical stuff, and in 2016, they decided to take a stab at the world's most scientific mattress. This is going to feel different than anything you've ever experienced because it uses this brand new material that was developed by an actual rocket scientist because you know rockets and mattresses are very similar, but really it's not like the memory foam you're used to. It's not going to be super-hot. It's firm and soft at the same time. It keeps everything supported while still feeling comfortable instead of like schweddy and you get this kind of zero gravity fields, so it works for any sleeping position. You get a hundred night risk-free trial. If you're not fully satisfied, you can return this mattress for a full refund. It's backed by a 10 year warranty, free shipping, free returns, free in home, set up, and they'll even take your old stanky as bug filled mattress and remove it for you. Jason, tell them more.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:21:27] You're going to love Purple, and right now, our listeners will get a free Purple pillow with the purchase of a mattress. That's in addition to the great free gifts they're offering site-wide. Just go to purple.com and use our promo code JORDAN at checkout. That's purple.com, code JORDAN. The only way to get this free pillow is to use the code JORDAN at checkout, and if you didn't get it the first six times purple.com, code JORDAN.
[00:21:51] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/advertisers, and if you'd be so kind, please drop us a nice rating and review in iTunes or your podcast player of choice. It really helps us out and helps build the show family. If you want some tips on how to do that, head on over to jordanharbinger.com/subscribe. Now let's hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:22:18] All right, next up then.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:22:20] Hey guys, love the show. Keep doing what you're doing. We plan on it for a very long time, like I said before, until we die. I'm a big bulky guy and I'm into strongman training. My friends say I'm calm and easygoing, but most of those same friends have told me when we first met, they were kind of afraid of me because of how I looked and then I always look serious or mad. This keeps happening when I meet new people. I've tried working on body language and my expression, but here's the twist. I have alopecia, so I have a bald head, which doesn't help matters and no eyebrows is a good way to make just about anyone look creepy. Think Arnold in the first Terminator or the new Joker.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:02] I thought alopecia should just meant you went bald. I didn't know it meant you have no hair.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:06] Yeah, I didn't know about the eyebrow thing. That was a new one
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:08] That was new. I'm just like, “Oh my gosh,” that is a good way to make people look creepy.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:14] So since I'm not going to the arrested development route and get fake eyebrows, what should I do? Are there other ways to compensate with body language or shouldn't I try doing something different with facial expressions? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks, Terminator Face.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:29] Yeah, Terminator Face, I can totally see that. First off, I appreciate the Arrested Development reference. I think that show was amazing. I'm still sad it got canceled. So you've definitely got a situation here, but the good news is it's not that hard to look or appear a bit friendlier. First, you have different facial expressions, smile more, etc. I think the stereotype of a strong scary guy, they're big and muscular. That's what you're into, so you can't do anything about that. Second, they don't smile. So you probably think you need to smile more, but I'll admit that's a hard thing to remember. It's a tough habit for most guys anyway, so I'm not going to be like smile more because you're just going to look like that guy from Something About Mary when he got the fake teeth. You know what I'm talking about, Jason?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:24:08] No, I don't know that one, but I think about Hamilton where it's like talk less, smile more.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:24:13] Yeah. There's going to be some of that. It's just going to be unnatural. Third, and this is your best option. Work on initiating conversation. So when you meet new people, be one of the first to ask questions and showcase curiosity. For example, you meet someone new, introduce herself, ask someone where they're from or what brings them to that event or how they know the other people that they're with or the person that introduced you, whatever. This type of rapport breaks tension very easily. It also gets people talking and this will quickly show people that you're not some emotionless, tough guy. You're a big dude with a regular friendly personality and believe it or not, I had to go through something very similar. I used to weigh 209 pounds. Bear in mind, I'm like 5’9, 5’10.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:00] Oh God! You tiny, tiny little tattoo.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:03] It’s like 10 percent body fat. I'm not talking about just like drank a lot of Rosé in a can, you know?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:08] Okay, I'm 250, and I'm six foot, but you know.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:13] All right, fine. Well, I was jacked AF, man, because I figured being huge would help me get friends, respect, get some women, instead it got me some high blood pressure, got me some respect for meatheads though. Scared away a lot of women because I was so obviously really insecure. You're not like this because you're actually into the training. I was just doing it to look tough and it totally backfired. You know, I had some tough guy issues.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:35] I think there's a Tinder filter for guys like you. It was like, “Oh I'm jacked and I'm ready to go.” I think it's a peck filter that like puts up a little warning for the women that says warning, warning, warning. Be careful.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:46] Yeah. You uncheck the bro box and then you don't see guys like me anymore.
Jason DeFillippo: [000:25:52] Oh man.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:25:52] And I think go in the friendly route will have benefits beyond just being less intimidating. I think it will place you into a leadership position, a leadership role in your circle of friends, which is actually a pretty fun place to be. So initiate those conversations. Going to take a little bit of work. If you need to go take an improv class or something, make yourself more accessible, more outgoing. When you initiate, people will start to lose. They'll shed that first impression of like, “Whoa, this looks like one of the bad guys from Double Dragon.”
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:22] Double Dragon, you really rolled out the Double Dragon. Those guys were tiny. Come on!
Jordan Harbinger: [00:26:26] Dude, remember the big dudes and they were wearing like cutoff jorts or they were wearing like bike pants and they had crop top haircuts. Remember?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:34] I was on the other side of the fence, man. I worked for Mortal Combat. So I was in Johnny Cages camp.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:26:41] But didn't, Oh, he had bike pants.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:43] He kind of did.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:26:45] I kind of, he literally had bike pants.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:47] He literally had bike pants. But anyway, I used to work with a lot of wrestlers back in the day. Back in the day, like three years ago before I moved back here day.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:26:58] That’s not the day.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:59] It wasn't back in the day. Wrestlers are massive people and they have the same issue.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:27:05] Super into bike pants too.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:27:07] No, not my friends. They were not into bike pants. Come on.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:27:10] Fair enough.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:27:11] But they had the same problems that you have with being big and just intimidating. You have the alopecia element, which actually adds on to it, which I think that you might want to accentuate and just like put it out at the beginning. It's just like I had a barbecue this weekend and I put on too lighter fluid.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:27:33] Oh, like tell him he roasted of his eyebrow.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:27:34] Exactly. I put a too much lighter fluid and I burn off my eyebrows and I'm sorry. But yeah, this is what happens when you put on too much lighter fluid. Anyway, there are ways that you can do an introduction with comedy that will put people at ease and that's what everybody I knew in wrestling did. They were some of the funniest people because on their first introductions they would have a wine, they would just have a line that they would go up to new people and that would say, “Don't be afraid of me because I'm a cool guy. I'm funny. I just want to hang out and I want to chat.” That's really like what they do, and these are professional people who have to do this all the time because they're doing this day in, day out, and meeting thousands of people. And I think comedy is the really a good way to just kind of break the ice and get people to lower their guard and then they can find out who you are.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:29] I bet you people don't even notice that he doesn't have eyebrows because that's a really kind of low key thing to be missing.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:37] Oh, I bet. I bet not, but you know what it probably is, it's kind of one of those things where you look at somebody and you go, “I'm missing something.”
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:45] Right! Yeah, totally.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:46] What’s going on?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:28:46] You're like what is it about him? And you're like, “Oh, it's because he's muscular,” and it's like, “Oh.” Your brain sort of sees like, “Hey, he doesn't have any eyebrows,” but you don't notice what it is.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:28:57] I think comedy though would get him pretty far.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:00] Oh, I agree. Hence the improv wreck.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:04] Exactly. I think you're completely right, Jordan.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:07] All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:09] Hi guys. I have a friend who publishes self-written articles online. There are occasional grammar errors that should be corrected before going public. I'm happy to review the article before it goes out. What nonoffending approach should I use to offer up my help. Signed, Not As Good As Grammar Girl, But Close.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:28] Ooh, that one has a crap ring to it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:31] This is all you, man.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:31] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:33] This is all you. So this is interesting. I do want to know, why do you want to do this? It's nice of you. Don't get me wrong. The best way to offer unsolicited advice though is not to offer unsolicited advice generally, really. I mean, I know that's not really what you want to hear, but that's the truth. Nobody really likes that. That said, I get that you're trying to save your friend the embarrassment of publishing something with errors in it. That's nice of you. Like I said, I would simply say, “Hey man, I love what you're doing. I love what you're putting up online. I'm a huge grammar dork. I would totally be up for proofreading and nitpicking anything that might be off grammar wise. I realize most people aren't even going to notice, but I figure it might be helpful. What do you think?” So this self-deprecation in there that will show that you're not trying to embarrass your friend. You're not trying to one up them. You're not trying to degrade them in some way. It's a signal that you're just trying to be helpful. If they say yes, you're in business. The key here though is that you have to be okay with him saying no and then just don't force the issue, and this seems like a really simple ask. I've got friends like Gabriel, head of editorial here at the Jordan Harbinger Show and Advanced Human Dynamics. They do all this for me all the time, I'm never offended. He's a writer, I'm not. I'm totally aware, I make mistakes here and there. Writer friends of mine catch this all the time. It's just like Jason catching my flubs in the show. It's not feedback is part of the deal, you know, I'm speaking into a microphone, it's not going to be perfect. You're writing all the time, it's not going to be perfect. It's really not a big deal. I'm willing to bet the problem and worry is more in your head than anywhere else when asking this, I think this is a simple ask. Unless your friend is really sensitive about it, then just let it go. It's not your problem anyway. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:31:18] Hello Jordan, Jen, Jason, and the Internet. I was wondering where to draw the line when it comes to people you don't really care to keep in contact with anymore. With reaching out to dormant networks, sometimes they were that way for a reason or simply it was just nonreciprocal. Basically isn't worth pushing through and keeping even a surface level relationship of just familiarity just in case. I've been of the mentality to keep the best relationships with those around you, but there are also somewhere around 8 billion people in the world, so why put up with and mend was already not working out or hasn't, and instead put a little of that energy instead into developing and reaching out to new people and having a good balance of both. Love all that you do, Call The Herd Or Cultivate A New Flock.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:32:07] Call The Herd, did you add that in there from that's some far cry shit in there.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:32:11] Oh, Call The Herd is just, every time I see a Darwin award winner, I'm like calling the herd.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:32:18] Call the herd.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:32:19] Yeah. It's just like, yeah, yeah, you don't really deserve to be here anymore.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:32:24] Yeah, you're totally right here. You don't have to keep in touch with everybody. There are a lot of people in the world. You can try to reengage people who fell off for no reason because of life. You know, Oh, life happens. We didn't really try. You didn't. They didn't try whatever, but if they weren't reciprocal or you don't really like them, then yeah, don't bother. If someone isn't nice, the relationship is one sided, no big deal. Just cut them loose. I would say the reason we created Six-Minute Networking, which by the way is a sort of free course that I do on re-engaging ties, networking, jordanharbinger/course for those who want the tools to build and maintain relationships in just a few minutes a day. It's free. There's no excuses. It's really, I'm seeing huge results come out of this for people. People are getting dates, opportunities, jobs. It's really amazing to see jordanharbinger/course. You don't have to keep people in your life that you don't like. That wasn't the idea. I'm sorry if I didn't communicate that well enough. You can call the herd. This is a great way to keep in touch with the weaker or dormant ties. But if someone's a weak tie because you're the only one that ever calls them and you don't really like them and you don't really get along, there's no reason to keep them in your network. So don't feel the pressure like you've got to have everybody in your orbit. I get that. You don't really have to keep everyone around all the time. In fact, I think that's kind of unhealthy to keep people around just for the sake of quote unquote networking. That's one of the reasons people don't like networking because they feel like it's fake. You have to deal with people you don't like and you don't, you really don't.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:33:58] Yeah. I mean, sometimes people fall out of your life for a reason.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:01] Often it's no reason, but sometimes you go, “Oh yeah, you're a pretentious jerk face and you never call me and you ask for favors and then never returned them and then you ghost. Those aren't people you need.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:34:13] No, totally. I mean, that's why, I mean I work in Hollywood. That happens every day. So don't feel that need to like, just because you knew them once doesn't mean that you have to reconnect just because you knew them once.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:26] Exactly, yep. I have a sip of mob Rosé in a can. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:34:32] Hey, Jordan and team. Congrats on all the success with your own show. Well, thank you very much.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:37] Yes.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:34:38] You all helped me out with some fantastic advice a while back regarding my job. Your advice has helped me greatly and I thank you for it. I've recently decided that this particular job just isn't for me and started weighing my options. My first career aspirations and my passions were related to photography, writing, and teaching. But I gave these up due to the horrible teaching situation in Oklahoma and opted for a degree in accounting for more pay and stability. School is way more expensive now than it was when I graduated college. So I'm looking at trying out something like The Great Courses to refresh myself on photography and writing rather than getting another degree.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:18] You mean thegreatcoursesplus.com/jordan?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:21] I think she meant thegreatcoursesplus.com/jordan.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:23] Oh good, okay.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:24] I do believe that is thegreatcourses plus.com/jordan.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:28] Indeed.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:28] However I'm concerned my resume won't even be considered when it's up against other candidates who have a degree. What suggestions do you have for someone without a degree to market themselves in a way that will help get past the resume gatekeeper and at least get me an interview. Thanks, and keep up the fine work, Indecisive IRS Agent-Follow Up. I remember her.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:51] Yeah, me too.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:53] No, We tried. We tried with her.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:56] We did. We did. We did try indeed. We tried. We tried and it seems like we may have kind of possibly succeeded so I'm happy about that.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:05] So Indecisive IRS Agent, I have some bad news. No one cares about photography degrees. I know because I have one. I was a photographer for a long time. I went through the curriculum twice and am an accredited photographer. But what it comes down to is your body of work. And unfortunately photography is one of the industries that was completely decimated by the Internet. Professional photography is really tough and cutthroat. The Chicago Sometimes one of the biggest newspapers in the country doesn't even have a photography department anymore. Literally they fired all their photographers and gave their reporters iPhones and said, “Just take pictures while you're there.”
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:51] Wow!
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:51] It’s insane.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:52] They're just like, “Hey, they don't have to be good photos. They just kind of have to be photos sort of.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:57] Exactly.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:58] So here's a freaking iPhone.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:59] If you had like a comparison for that, go look at when the Cubs won the world series. Look at the Chicago Tribune versus the Chicago Sun-Times for their homepage or not homepage is what my web brain into it, but they're their front page photos. The Chicago Tribune had a photographer on site and they made an amazing photo and the Sun-Times had like the butts of everybody piling onto a pile. It was ridiculously bad. So yeah, photography right now is really tough and I have several friends who are professional photographers and they’ve been shooting for 20 plus years. They literally can barely make ends meet and they're absolutely amazing in what they do. Some of them are Rolling Stone photographers, some of them are catalog photographers. I've got portrait photographer friends. I lived in photography for most of my life. Even though I was in the tech world, I kept my toe in the photography world and a lot of my friends do that, and it is an insanely difficult job to do nowadays because there's just no work because everybody thinks they can do it with their phone.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:12] That's crazy. I can't believe that they got rid of all of the photographers. Wow.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:38:17] Fired the entire staff.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:18] Holy moly.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:38:18] The entire staff in one day.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:19] Well that doesn't bode well. But what I will say is even if you don't get a job in photography or maybe you want to try to doing that, that's fine. Get warm introductions to anybody you're trying to get a job with or for take informational interviews, and essentially what this is, is reaching out on places like LinkedIn or through other friends of yours and say, “I want to ask about the job. I'd love to take you out for coffee. I'll come to your office, whatever.” You ask them about the industry and the job that they have, you don't ask them for a job. In fact, you can even promise. I promise I'm not asking you for a job. I'm just curious about the industry and a lot of people will meet with you.
[00:38:56] Degrees might be required for bigger corporations. I don't mean photography degrees by the way. I mean just degrees in general because of policy. Many places will gladly hire based on experience. I think I go, Jason here that are jobs. There are few and far between and degree in photography or writing, not nearly as important as having a degree in general for any role that that requires those which you have already. You already have a degree. For this, employers will be probably be more concerned with your portfolio, your body of work than any degree. So get to work writing, get to work taking photos, get that all together, and that combo of connections and a body of work will do great for you. So happy for you, by the way, from the IRS to trying to live the dream. You're on your way girl. Love it. I'm going to have my sip of my Rosé in a can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:39:44] I also think, go back to skill stacking. You want to be a photographer, a writer, and a teacher. So put all of those together into a package that you can sell and that gives you a much better chance instead of just being a photographer in the long term.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:40:01] Agree.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:40:04] We'll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after this.
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[00:42:26] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers is what keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/advertisers, and we also have an Alexis Skills so you can get inspirational and educational clips from the show in your daily briefing. Go to jordanharbinger.com/alexa, or search for Jordan Harbinger in the Alexa App. Now, back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:53] All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:42:55] Dear Jason and Jordan, I have a good friend who is always on her phone whenever we hang out, we go on adventures out to eat or just simply having a girls night or day out and the phone is in her hand all the time. She will always text and drive. Oh, that's not good.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:43:10] Oh super sucks. I hate that.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:43:14] Yeah. She's one of the people who drives with their knee in text with both hands.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:43:19] Oh my God!
Jason DeFillippo: [00:43:21] Oh, I would not get in the car with that person.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:43:25] She probably drinks Rosé in a can.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:43:27] Yeah, she just might. It's extremely frustrating and I'm genuinely worried about our safety. Of course, you should be. You should genuinely be worried about your safety. When I brought this to her attention recently, she said she was texting and driving because she was bored. We've been good friends for years and I hate the thought of our friendship ending over this, but I can't think of anything that'll change her ways. Any advice you have is more than welcome. I know a lot of people struggle with others who are constantly on their phones, so hopefully this advice will help them as well. Sincerely, you're a fan from the East Coast. Get Out Of The Car!
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:04] I cannot -- this people who text and drive are the people that do that Kiki, do you love me dance? You know, have you seen this, Jason?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:12] No.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:12] That trend where they get out of the car, they open the door and the person in the passenger seat is filming and the car's rolling. You haven't seen this?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:19] No. What?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:20 Oh my God. Where have you been? So people are busting out these dance moves with the passengers filming them, the cars rolling and the driver gets out with the door open and dances next to the car.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:33] Okay. That's just stupid. I'm sorry. That's just stupid.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:37] I mean, just go on YouTube and look at all the people getting run over by their own car or falling in like hard phase planning or the door locks and they can't get in the car again because they did it by themselves and they're stupid. This is the epitome me dumb.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:56] Remember recently when I just said calling the herd?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:59] Yeah. [indiscernible] [00:45:00] word style.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:59] Yeah. That’s calling the herd. Yeah, totally. Oh, instant karma, I think we call that as well.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:06] Yes, instant regret.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:45:07] Wow! People do that?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:09] Oh yeah. I can't wait for you to see it. You're going to love it.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:45:12] Oh, that's fantastic.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:14] It's right up your alley, man. So yeah, first of all, so dangerous. WTF man, what is going on here? That is not cool. You need maybe you need to make her promise. You need to make her promise. She won't do that. Offer to drive, if she can't make that promise, you got to drive. That's it. That's all there is to it. Also, I think the heart to heart about phone addiction is probably an order. I've had friends say as much to me before back in the day and it's a little sobering. I think it's also really necessary and as a good friend it is your duty to bring this up. Maybe include how your feelings are hurt. You must not be interesting enough that she has to be on the phone all the time while you're out together and see if you could make a pact not to use your phones at meals or went out and only post or chat during certain times. I've got friends who set their phone on the table. They set it face down and they stack the phone one on top of the other and whoever touches their phone first has to pay for the meal, and once the meal is over we usually end up splitting or someone treats anyway, but it keeps people from grabbing their food, texting during the meal, chatting with some people on Slack or WhatsApp or whatever. It's really great. It's great. It adds social pressure to the equation. Like if you touch your phone, it's like, “Oh really?” You're going to be the one who does that, and if she can't stop, look, she's addicted man. You're not going to fix her. I hate to say this, but you've got to find some friends who want to be with you in the moment and definitely do not sit in the car with someone who's texting and driving. Look at the number of fatalities for this. That should be enough to make that change. It is worse than being drunk and drive. It is worse than drinking Rosé in a can and driving
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:55] It definitely is. And maybe just go buy her a copy of Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now from Jaron Lanier, because she definitely needs to do that because it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:10] All right, last but not least.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:47:12] Hey, triple J. Absolutely loving the show. I think it's one of the best in terms of self-growth in career development. You cover such a wide variety of topics and it's quite refreshing. I have a couple of questions about young people generally. What guidance or advice do you give young people often? What is the number one thing that you wish young people understood today? Keep up the good work, Learning From Others. PS, triple J is a great radio station here in Australia.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:41] Well, I'm going to hear it in October when I go to Australia coming up in like three weeks. I'll tune into the Triple J.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:47:49] Yeah, no, my buddy who had a number one song in Australia long back in the day, Andy Prieboy, he had one number one song in Australia and he kept sending me his radio bites and they were all on Triple J. So that's pretty cool.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:48:04] And I can imagine what an Australian, a radio guy sounds like. He's probably like Triple J.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:48:09] Oh, totally. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:48:11] Yeah, they have that cool accent. But then you add the radio guy thing too, and it's like Australia's number one FM station. That's pretty shitty. but I don't care.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:48:22] This is why you don't do voices.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:48:23] That's why I don't do Rio for Australian FM stations, although I totally could. I totally could as long as nobody Australian with the real Australian accent was ever going to hear it. So this is a tough one because my number one regret is not having maintained relationships with people I knew when I was younger. But I also know that young people are like, I'm going to live forever and they're never going to take really a lot of advice. And besides, when I was younger, Jason, we didn't have Facebook, we didn't have social media, we didn't have mobile phones, we didn't have contacts saved somewhere, which makes me feel hella old now.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:48:59] Yep. Welcome to the club.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:49:01] Yeah, I know right. Now there's no excuse though. You can track the kids -- if you're born in when Facebook existed. You can literally just add all of your friends from not even born in Facebook existed. You can add people from as old as you are when Facebook, when you're allowed to get Facebook, like high school. You just add everyone. And so now you can just add everyone from high school. There's no excuse. Opportunities will come at you unstoppably when you know more people. So you keep that circle engaged. You introduced people to others. That's been huge for me in the last five to 10 years. The last five, especially as I've wrapped things up. This year, especially as we had to start over, and I hate to sound like a broken record, but you can't really, you've got to dig the well before you're thirsty. You can't make up for lost time. And I lost a lot of time not doing this. So go grab Six-Minute Networking, learn how to network, learn how to maintain relationships. jordanharbinger.com is where that course is at.
[00:49:59] Other than networking and relationships, asking for what you want and what you need is very, very important part of that. We touched on that in our negotiation series with Alex Kouts. Make sure you go download those episodes. You listened good. And we'll link to those in the show notes as well. If you know how to negotiate and you're a great network, you're just going to be so unstoppable if you start in your 20s instead of your 30s. Ah! I wish, my goodness.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:50:24] I would like to talk about mind reading. This is something we've covered recently on the show several times and it's one of the things that I did when I was a kid. It's like I always assumed that I knew what everybody else was thinking and then I made my decisions based on what I thought they were thinking. No, never worked out. So if I would go back to the kids, I would say find out what people are thinking before you make a judgment decision. That's the one thing that I would change at when I was growing up. You know, ask people, don't be afraid of what they're going to say because if you think they're going to say what they're going to say, they're going to say it. So if they say something different, then bonus, jackpot. And that's the one thing that I would say, don't think that you can be a mind reader because you probably can't.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:51:15] Is that like you mean mind reading and like the sense where you go, “They don't like me, they think I'm dumb.” That kind of stuff?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:51:23] Exactly. We've talked about on feedback Friday before where people are like, “Oh my family thinks that I need to come back home and they're waiting for me and they need me to come back home.” And they might be like, “Oh, we already rented your room.” You know?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:51:38] Yeah. We're so glad you don't live here anymore.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:51:40] Exactly. That kind of thing. It's taking what you think other people think and in internalizing that is to what is a reality and if you turn it around and just say, “Hey, what do you think about me doing something?” It's just asking the question about what should I do here and taking the feedback and going from there. Sometimes they're going to be what you think they're going to say, but I think a lot of the time you're going to be surprised and your life trajectory can be completely changed based on what they reply with.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:52:15] Yeah, that makes sense. Mind reading is a good one. That's a really good one to not do. So thanks for sharing that. I'm glad I threw that back to you.
[00:52:23] Recommendation of the week, Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age. It features David Buss, who you're going to hear pretty soon. It's on HBO, and you can find the link in the show notes if you have the HBO. What it's about is how dating apps are affecting our lives, affecting our brain. A lot of the insider stuff in, I know what you're thinking. I'm married and I need to learn this. I thought it was interesting because I am, again, I'm like, “This is what the kids are doing.” There's so much crazy stuff that happens as a result of Tinder, Bumble, all these apps, and what they're trying to solve is just created a different set of problems. So whether you're dating now and you're going, “Oh yeah, that's me.” Or whether you're over it, you're never going to date again. It's a really interesting insight and David Buss, who is an expert on mating and evolutionary biology and psychology talks about what this does to our brain. So it's called Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age on HBO.
[00:53:17] Hope you all enjoy the show. I just want to thank everyone that wrote in this weekend has ever written in to Feedback Friday, has ever listened to of the 100 episodes of the Jordan Harbinger Show, especially those fans that came with us from before and had been with us for the last decade. It's a nice new, fresh start, and we love you guys. I'm so grateful to have you with us. I'm so grateful to hear from you all the time. I just love it.
[00:53:43] Don't forget you can email us email@example.com to get your questions answered on the air. Happy to keep you anonymous, of course as well. A link to the show notes for this episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Quick shout outs to Carol. It's her first month in law school in Chicago. She really enjoyed the Jonathon Haidt episode and the point about drawing a bigger circle around a small circle, and John Schantz, shared the negotiation series with his son when he was relocating to a new city. He utilized the techniques from the show, got a significant bump over what was offered and got some extra vacation days, which he can now spend with his dad.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:54:19] Nice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:54:20] Nice. Exactly. Shout out to American Dream University. It's a charity I worked with. Helps veterans readjust to civilian life, get things moving for them. Start some businesses. If you're looking for a good charity to support, check them out. American Dream the letter U.org Americandreamu.org. What about you Jason? You got a shout?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:54:40] I wanted to throw a shout out to the Tony Hawk Foundation. We had Tony Hawk on the show in the other incarnation of the show and they're still doing great work with bringing in skate parks to low rent neighborhoods and he's doing great stuff over there, and hopefully someday we'll have Tony Hawk back on the show. But I love the Tony Hawk Foundation, and if you want to go over to tonyhawkfoundation.org and throw in a few bucks, to get a skate park in your neighborhood because it is proven to actually uplift your neighborhood.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:11] It's funny I didn't tell you that. You know what? You know, he just emailed me today, Tony Hawk.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:16] No way.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:16] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:18] Nice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:18] Well, Tony Hawk's people, they want to come back on the show, so.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:21] Awesome!
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:21] So it's going to happen.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:23] Awesome!
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:23] And then you can finally, you can finally talk about skating and then let it go. How I missed it last time, nevertheless.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:31] Oh, don't, don't even get butthurt about that. I’m the one that’s butthurt.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:35] Oh, me get butthut? You're the ones like “You didn’t ask any of my questions. I did prep you didn’t ask any of my questions.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:40] I spent 40 hours on prep on that and you didn't ask any of my questions, you jerk!
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:45] See, now who's butthurt? Well, we'll get it out there. We'll get it going.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:49] Okay.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:50] If you want to know how I managed to book all these great people manage my relationships, have intros to Tony Hawk in my inbox. I use systems. I use tiny habits. I take a few minutes per day. Check out our Six-Minute Networking course. It's free. I've beaten this dead horse. I'm just going to tell you the URL is at jordanharbinger.com/course. Don't put it off. You got to dig the well before you're thirsty. It's free. It's a few minutes a day. It's so easy. Don't sleep on this. jordanharbinger.com/course. jordanharbinger.com/course. I'm on Instagram and Twitter @jordanharbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show. Jason, where can they find you?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:56:29] They can find me over @jpd.me. That's where I post all my new blog posts about podcasting and things like that and all my socials, and the other podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks where I talk about a lot of the things that we've talked about today on this show, about social networks and how they're destroying the world, just go to gog.show to find out how to subscribe.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:56:50] So keep sending in those questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember, try to keep them concise. You all been doing a great job of that. It really does increase the chance of your question will get answered on the air, share the show with those you love, and even those you do. Lots of more great stuff in the pipeline. Here's to another 100/1,000 episodes, and we're excited to bring all this to you. We really love doing this. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen and we'll see you next time.
[00:57:20] Hey, if you like my show, you're going to love The Producer's Guide on PodcastOne. Veteran Hollywood producer, Todd Garner, who was on our show on Tuesday. Pull some strings. Talk to some of the biggest names in the business, including the host of survivor Jeff Probes, the creator of the hit TV drama, This Is Us, Dan Fogelman. Checkout The Producer's Guide every Thursday on PodcastOne or wherever you get your favorite pods.
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