If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at email@example.com. Now, let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- You accidentally sent your roommate a message meant for someone else in which you were indirectly complaining about them. Is there a way to gracefully recover from this faux pas?
- Even though you seem to hit it off when meeting new people, you can’t seem to form close friendships and make them stick. What’s missing from the formula?
- As a young couple about to embark on a life of wedded bliss, what’s the fairest way to handle finances from the start — especially when one person makes considerably more money?
- Here’s Jordan’s strategy for investing money with compound interest.
- If you could ask only one question of a person you perceive to be successful, what would it be — and from Jordan’s perspective as an interviewer, how should you ask it?
- What are some unexpected things you can encounter when moving to a new city — especially when you feel like you haven’t prepared enough in advance for the changes immediately ahead?
- What’s the best way to heat up cold contacts into bona fide network connections?
- Is it worth it to stay at your current job for another eight years to secure your retirement finances, or is now the time to take on your own business venture?
- Though you relocated three years ago for a job you still consider decent, you miss family and friends back home. What are the pros and cons of moving back now?
- Life Pro Tips: [Jason] Treat the halfway point on your gas tank as empty. [Jordan] Use Rebump for a 33 percent better response rate with your emails.
- Recommendation of the Week: Abducted in Plain Sight
- Quick shoutouts to Taylor Moser and Rick!
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
- Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
In Two Cups of Joe, singer and actor Joey Fatone is joined weekly by his manager and friend of 25 years, Joe Mulvihill, as they discuss everything from parenting and raising a family to television, film, music, and sports with some of their famous friends. Check out Two Cups of Joe on PodcastOne!
Resources from This Episode:
- Mike Posner | 31 Minutes to the Other Side of Fame, TJHS 168
- Nathan Latka | How to Be a Capitalist Without Any Capital, TJHS 169
- The Negative Consequences of Accentuating the Positive by Jordan Harbinger
- Entrepreneurs’ Organization
- EO Accelerator
- Compound Interest Introduction, Khan Academy
- How Teens Can Become Millionaires by Dave Ramsey
- How to Start over in a New City by Jordan Harbinger
- Rebump: Email Follow-Up Made Easy
- Abducted in Plain Sight
Transcript for How to Ask Questions Like an Award-Winning Podcaster | Feedback Friday (Episode 170)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:00] Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host Jordan Harbinger and I'm here with producer Jason DeFillippo. Here on The Jordan Harbinger Show, we love having conversations with our guests, and this week we had Mike Posner talking about his journey through fame at a young age, what it did, and more importantly, what it did not do for him. That was a really fun show to do in-person hanging out. We grew up in the same town, so that was kind of a fun little, almost like a throwback sort of nostalgia effect there. We also had Nathan Latka talking about how he uses leverage and hustle to accomplish a lot of really unique and amazing things for a guy in his 20s. He really is good at negotiating and sort of playing one side off of another. There are lots to learn this week on the show.
[00:00:39] I also write every so often on the blog, the latest post is The Negative Consequences of Accentuating the Positive. In other words, I do a little takedown of positive thinking. I really don't love this movement where everybody's got to be positive all the time. I did self-help take down a while ago with Gabriel Mizrahi if you heard that Deep Dive and this is somewhat similar in terms of it being a takedown of why people are always supposed to be positive and happy and it's just not true. It's not based on science and I think that it was important to expose a little bit of that. So you can find that at jordanharbinger.com/articles. So make sure you've had a look and a listen to those shows and that article.
[00:01:17] And, of course, our primary mission is to pass along our guests and our experiences and insights along to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you and that's what we're going to do today, every Friday in fact, here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us at email@example.com and as always we've got some fun ones and I want to get right to it, Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:01:38] Hey, Jordan, and team. I accidentally sent my roommate a message I meant for someone else where I was indirectly complaining about them. Has anyone discovered a good plan for recovering from this? The roommate's fairly non-confrontational, so I don't know if anything will come from this since I wasn't saying anything super rude in the message, but I don't want to die nonetheless. Have any tips? Thanks. Signed, What's the Emoji for Dope?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:00] Ah, yeah. Nice. This is embarrassing. So basically I guess she was talking with somebody else about her roommate and we've all kind of done a little bit something like this, right? So consciously typed in the roommate's name. I probably sent the text to them instead.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:02:15] Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I think I think everybody I know has done this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:02:18] Oh man. Yeah. I would literally, honesty is the best policy here because look, there's probably all kinds of creative and funny things you could do to say to get out of it. Like, "Oh, that was for somebody else and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah." But they're never, they're never really going to believe you. And if they do believe you – here's the problem. If they do believe you, right? You're a really good liar. Congratulations. If they do believe you, then you come back in three months and you're like, "So it's really annoying when you don't clean up your dishes. They're like, "Ah, I knew it. You were complaining about me," and then you lied. So now you talk smack about me behind my back and you lie to me about it. So you're going to permanently damage your relationship. That's the part.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:03:00] Yeah, definitely. You got to just be upfront and own it and say, "Yeah, yeah, I'm pissed off about this. Let's talk about it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:06] Yeah. It's a good excuse to do that. And look, I know your roommate is non-confrontational. That's not a good reason to not confront somebody about something. Because non-confrontational people – we always have to get it out somehow. Some of the guys that I used to work with back at the old company were very non-confrontational. That just means they talk smack about everybody behind their back and it, or it would blow up like it would be, you know, somebody would leave a dish out and they'd be like, "Oh yeah, and you never blah, blah." And it's like, "Whoa, what?" So it was completely non-productive. It ruined the relationship that they had. I don't want to throw names out there, but it ruined all of his relationships. He has no close friends. It ruined all of his relationships with his significant others. So being conflict avoidant or non-confrontational, that energy goes somewhere because the problems never get solved and you end up just stewing over it. It's almost like a covert contract. They knew they were doing that. Not really. So I would say being straight up about it as the best way to do it. It lets the steam out of everything. You'll feel better about it and you'll say, "Look, I've kind of messed up here and it will get you out of the habit of venting in non-productive ways, which is telling somebody else about your problem with your roommate. That really is nonproductive. Sure. You should have emotional support from people. Sure. Sometimes we complain about people and then it doesn't really affect the relationship.
[00:04:30] Like Jason, I'm sure there's been plenty of times where you and I have hung up and been like, "Dammit, Jordan's late. I'm so annoyed." Or I'd been like, "Yo, he's in a cranky mood, but it's like you don't have to," – it's not like I should say something to Jason about that. Right. Or I should say something to Jordan about that. It's just venting, but I don't try to do that a lot. It's not really that healthy and it doesn't fix anything. So it's kind of like negative idle chatter, which is the worst kind.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:04:58] Totally agree about that. You don't want to have a pressure cooker with no steam valve. You need to be able to get that stuff out. And I think one of the things I do with my roommate now is just if we have a problem, we just talk it out. We don't go bitch to somebody else about it. Because in the past that's just gotten us both in trouble because you always get one person that's going to tell the other person and then it just gets worse from there.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:05:18] Yeah. Like, "Hey, did you have lunch with Cathy? You told her that I didn't do the dishes. I did the dishes." And then they're embarrassed and the problem isn't solved. Because it's like, "Now, Cathy thinks I don't clean up after myself. You jerk." "Oh, oops."
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:31] Yep.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:05:31] And then you've got a problem with Cathy because you're like, "Geez, what a loud mouth."
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:35] I think the other lesson to be taken away from this is always check your two fields when you're making a quick text.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:05:40] Yeah. Sheesh. I wonder how many times I've done it. Never gotten caught or gotten caught, they never said anything and I never thought about it again. Like, have I ever sent a text to the wrong person? That person doesn't say anything. And then I never noticed that I sent it to the wrong person.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:55] Yeah. It could be and then they just silently pushed you away.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:05:59] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:05:59] "Okay. Now, I know how he feels. So, I'm just going to ghost him."
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:03] Yeah. Oh, so weird, huh? All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:06] Hi, guys. I'm a 23-year-old woman and I'm terrible at making friends. I went to five different schools before high school. I always had a hard time making friends though, particularly girlfriends. It was always easier to get along with the guys because I didn't feel as judged. But every male friend I've had ended up developing romantic feelings when all I wanted was friendship, which I always made very clear from the beginning. In high school, I got into an extremely controlling relationship and became a complete recluse. Not allowed to even stay after school for five minutes. I was single in college, but lived with my parents, so I just went to class. Then left. I made no friends there the entire time.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:43] You say ri-kloos and not rek-loos.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:46] Ri-kloos.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:46] I say rek-loos, but I don't say concrete. That's just weird.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:51] Hey, we all have our foibles.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:52] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:53] Or foibles.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:54] Well, I guess, I do say concrete, like I don't have a concrete reason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:06:57] I say concrete.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:06:58] Yeah, but I say concrete if it's like the material.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:07:01] Because I say recluse because they're reclusive.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:07:03] Right. But there are a recluse. I don't know, whatever. That's probably both correct. I don't want to look this up right now because it seems like something I should already know and we're in the middle of question. All right, so it's a bummer if she's hot and can't make friends. Okay, continue.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:07:19] I've always been an introvert, but through reading, research, and practice, I've become really good at making a great first impression. I love people and I can strike up a conversation with baristas, people in elevators, et cetera, and I always ask questions, which makes people love me in the current conversation. In longer conversations, it's extremely common for people to tell me how great I am or how they feel like they've known me forever. People open up to me very easily, but it just ends there. People seem to love me and forget about me. I feel like a burden when following up, but it feels like others never put in the effort to reach out first. I have a boyfriend now and we have a healthy relationship. When I meet his friends' girlfriends, it's the same thing. They all like me and we get along, but it ends there. Plus these conversations often end up as complaining and/or gossiping, which is extremely boring for me. This seems to be a recurring theme when conversing with women in their early to mid-20s. How do you go from having a good conversation to exchanging contact information and seeing each other again and how do you do this from a short conversation? Someone in an elevator or a coffee shop versus someone you know but haven't hung out with one on one like my boyfriend's friends' girlfriends, it seems to be much harder with women. Maybe Jen has some thoughts on this. This is an important skill I desperately want to figure out while I'm still young and as I start building my business. Thank you and keep inspiring. Signed, Friendly and Friendless.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:08:42] Huh? So this is actually rough. I know a few women in this position and I also had trouble making real friends. Oh, not entirely, but a lot of real friends in my 20s everybody just wanted to party the time, especially in the niche that I was in. I found that extremely boring and other people were just focused on their career. I never saw them, so I ended up just kind of falling into the whole, let's go out all the time scene instead of doing real work on myself, which was such a waste of time. Now, this gets easier and harder as we get older. People often grow up and stop wasting time partying and gossiping, but then they also get more serious about their careers and their families. They get married, they have kids, they check out socially, they stopped doing everything, so a lot of people tend to go in one extreme or the other. It's really hard actually to find people with balance. And since you're running a business you've actually got quite an advantage because you can hang out with other entrepreneurs which have a lot of events. Both in person and virtual as well as – those people tend to spend less time talking about other people and more time talking about generating revenue, crafting ideas, et cetera. So I would focus on the entrepreneur crowd. I really would. I wouldn't focus on them exclusively, but I still would follow up with them. And you still need girlfriends. They might be entrepreneurs, but you should have a relationship with them beyond business and you know, look, I think it's okay to make friends with guys, any boyfriend who tells you that that's not okay. It should be shown the door. Just make sure that you include him on events and activities so he doesn't feel too out of the loop because that can take a toll on the relationship. It would be easy to feel insecure if he had a pretty and successful girlfriend who hung out with other dudes all the time and you were never invited so I could see that getting a little old for him. So be careful there.
[00:10:30] But what you're experiencing now is totally normal. I can't tell you, especially when I was in LA, it was so rare for people to follow through on plans. Some of that is LA, some of that is just people, but set the bar to a higher standard. Make it so that you're putting in the work. You're following up, you're setting up plans. That's how a lot of guys have to do it their whole life. Maybe that's why it seems hard. It seems like you're having to do what most guys have to do. This is a filtering process. You're going to meet a ton of people. Those who don't keep in touch or put it in any energy, they just get cut. And it is a numbers game. You're going to meet tons of people at events. You're going to meet tons – I wouldn't meet people in elevators. It just seems a little weird. I mean, you can talk to people in elevators, but you don't have enough time to generate anything. And if you're working at a coffee shop, you can talk about what people are working on and you can, you can see them a few times and you can say, "Hey, are you normally here? What time do you normally hear? Shoot me your number and we'll be in touch and try to work here at the same time." So you know, whatever. But you got to be, here's the problem, if you did that with a guy, he's going to think you're interested, period. It's always going to be that way with dudes. It just is at first. So if you're in the entrepreneur scene, it'll be a little different. It'll be different. It'll be more acceptable. Work in a co-working space and entrepreneurs are better at following up. It's not because they're more organized or not just because it's because their relationships help their business. And we're all a little bit lonely, sad, crazy. So we need a little bit of support around us. Join groups, go to events.
[00:11:57] Put on smaller local events yourself, like a dinner party would be good. That's a great way to meet other people who own businesses in your area and create that value in your circle. And people will be more likely to stay connected and cut those who don't commit or who are wishy washy about attending or who say they're going to come and then don't show up just cut those people. You don't, you don't. You don't need those people around. And it sort of detracts from the circle. You know, if you say, "Hey, we've got eight people going and then only four people show up, those four people go, "Oh well that sucks. Maybe there's less value here than I thought." So if people don't show up, cut them, don't invite them to other things. If they tell you they can't make it, that's one thing. But if they're just not showing up, you don't need those people. It takes time to build a social circle. But it is super rewarding and fun. And as for creating entrepreneur connections, it will keep you sane as a business owner. So maybe join EO, if you have your revenue up that high or join accelerator, which is for six figure businesses that haven't hit that seven figure mark yet, and you get to network and hang out with other entrepreneurs and it is fun. So check out those types of organizations and look, you're ahead of the game at 23 running a business like that. So that's also part of the problem. The people that you're dealing with at 21, 22, 23 they're just not in the same headspace as you. And that will change as you get older. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:13:18] Hey, Jordan, Jason, and Jen. I'm a 25-year-old man and my fiancée is 22. We're going to be getting married next November and we've been discussing finances. Starting out I'll be making two to four times her salary because of the fields we're in and we were wondering how we should split bills and how we should set up our accounts. We were thinking we would have three checking accounts, one for bills, one for her and one for me, but maybe doing two or one account instead. As for bills, I was thinking that we add our salaries together and use percentages to figure out how much each salary contributes to the monthly expenses. For example, if my salary is 60% of our total income, then I pay 60% of the mortgage, 60% of the electric bill, et cetera from my salary and she pays the other 40%. Also, how should we do investment accounts? Should we have separate ones or just combine those? I currently have several since I like to experiment with newer investment companies. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks, Accounting for the Future.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:14:12] Interesting set of questions here. Getting married super young, but you know kind of jealous, but I'm also like, "Wow, 22 and 25, holy cow." But you never know. Never know how they were raised, environment they're in, how long they've known each other, et cetera. I would say this is a pretty sound strategy for investing. I like the idea of contributing a percentage of salary to the bills and having that in a third account for bills and expenses only that affect both of you. Everyone's different in what they're comfortable with, but since you are so young you have to do things a little bit like kids at first because you all are still kids. With Jen and I, I added her as a signer on my account, which is fine. I kept my own retirement accounts. She kept her retirement accounts, she works with me now and she takes a pretty meager salary so we reinvest a lot in the business. But our major joint asset is the business itself. And this is a bit different for us because we're in California where the courts will split everything up no matter what, which in our case is pretty fair. And while my name is on one of the houses we have, you know, her parents own the other one and I'm putting cash into it. So if we ever got divorced, man, we would be both incentivized to be fair because California will take me and frankly anyone over the coals anyway. And this is another reason why I waited a long time to get married. I did also get married in another state, but since I live in California, doesn't really matter, especially once we have kids. And for you, I would say you're on the right track. Keep your own accounts, have a pool for bills, contribute the percentage as you'd planned on doing. And for your investments, you can each do your own and keep them in your own name. You should have retirement accounts from your employers and anything you contribute beyond that should just stay in your own name. You won't need that money until you retire. And you can combine things later as needed. You know, if you ever even need to combine anything and 10 to 40 years you are good, you know, or 50 because that's probably when you'll be able to retire. Since those are separate accounts, you won't have to worry about them. Joint assets and things like that. You won't have to worry about that stuff until much later down the line. And once you get married, talk to a CPA about your options.
[00:16:14] Since Jen and I run our own business, we have things set up a lot differently than most people. For example, some of our property can be owned by a trust that's funded by the business, et cetera, et cetera. And this is unique to our situation and tax laws in place are pretty great for small businesses, especially right now. So definitely don't rush to combine things. It's a logistical hassle. There's no need for it. And candidly, we've all seen the stats on divorces, especially for people who get married really young. I hope it doesn't happen that way for you, but there's no sense in making things more complicated if it does. It won't affect your life at all to keep things separate and going backwards. It's harder than keeping things separate in the first place.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:16:54] This is Feedback Friday. We'll be right back after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:57] This episode is sponsored in part by Tommy John. Now when men and women upgrade from their tattered, outdated multi-pack underwear – you know, in fact my parents are visiting me right now and they call any mark on tidy whities or whitey tighties, whatever you call them. They call them nicotine stains.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:17:15] Oh yeah. You don't want those.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:17:16] Which is funny because I used to be like – I remember when I was a kid I was like, what are nicotine stains like? Nobody smokes in the house and, yeah, it took me a minute then. Anyway, Tommy John, speaking to nicotine stains, you don't want those. Upgraded Tommy John the most comfortable nicotine stain-free underwear on the planet. A lot of people have been giving us good feedback on the Tommy John. Scott, he's happy. His double agents are no longer going rogue. Or Melissa, who's Tommy Johns, are so light and comfortable, she worries. She'll forget to pull them down when she goes to the John. I liked that. That was kind of cute and creative. Point is men and women all across America are crazy about the Tommy John. Men's and women's, they get to know wedgie-guarantee, which long overdue from any underwear supplier and they got dress shirts, undershirts that always stay tuck. They're ridiculously soft underwear, the go-anywhere apparel. And for ladies, they've got the air collection quick drying antimicrobial fabric with a no visible panty line guarantee, which is kind of something I never think about frankly.
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[00:19:49] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. And if you'd be so kind, please drop us a nice rating and review in iTunes or your podcast player of choice. It really helps us out and helps build the show family. If you want some tips on how to do that, head on over to jordanharbinger.com/subscribe. Now let's hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:20:13] All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:20:14] Hi, Jordan. I hope this message finds you well. I know you mentioned in the past episodes about how you invest money with compound interest. I was curious if you could talk about that more during Feedback Friday or if you have a link to something that I could use. I know you're busy and hope you are safe in your travels. With gratitude, Compoundedly Curious.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:20:30] I'll keep this one pretty quick. I recommend index funds. I know a lot of people have all kinds of fancy stuff. Index funds, those things outperform everything. This is what sort of Warren Buffet always says to do and it's very unsexy. Just buy index funds. They track the market. Compound interest, I don't really want to go in and explain this so I'm going to link some resources in the show notes. It's really, really simple. Basically, if you put in 100 bucks one year and you have 10 percent interest at the end of the year, you have $110 and then if that 10 percent interest is compounding rolls over to the next year, then you get 10% of the 110 not just the original 100 so you end up with this exponentially larger amount of money each year. This is why this stuff is so important, because over time you'll start to see that if you invest, let's say starting at age 19 and you invest 2000 bucks a year for seven years and then you invest nothing for the rest of your life until you're 65, you'll end up with over two-million dollars, something like two point $2.2 million at that interest rate. Now, if you start investing when you're 27 and you invest $2,000 every year until you're 65, so a ton more principle, but you started, let's say eight years later, you end up with 1.5 million only. So the difference is absolutely enormous. You end up $700,000 behind because you waited eight years to start investing. That's insane. Starting early is crucial. You put in less money, but you start eight years earlier. It's just unbelievable. You turned 16 grand into $2.3 million and this has to be seen to be believed.
[00:22:18] I going to link to charts and things like that in the show notes here. It's just unreal. So you've got to pick funds that maybe average 12 percent. It's not hard to do that. It's very low risk. These things track the market and yes, look, $2.3 million is not going to be the same thing when I'm 65 from right now I get that. Okay, but it doesn't matter. You're going to be investing more than two grand a year, most likely. And you're not going to stop after eight years. You're going to do it every single year. So you're going to end up with millions of dollars in the market. That's why all these guys who were like, "Oh yeah, you know, I'm going to be a doctor later so I can spend all this money now." It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter somebody who's got a high salary but starts investing 10 years later, they're never going to catch up to somebody who works at freaking Taco Bell, but invests every single year. It's going to be almost impossible. So we'll link to articles and a video that explain how this works and why it's important in the show notes. And look, if you're not 19 and you want to start investing, still do it now you're going to have to invest more. Yes, it's a bummer. We can't go back in time, but it's also one really good reason to invest. Even a few hundred dollars a year now is better than zero and then waiting because you can't catch up to that compound interest rocket ship. All right, next up
Jason DeFillippo: [00:23:29] HI Triple J, if you could ask a person who you perceive to be successful only one question, what would it be? You're a good interviewer and I was curious to understand how to ask potent questions to get the most out of the small windows of opportunity to get to speak to people whose qualities I want have. Thanks. Getting to The Good Stuff.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:23:47] I get this a lot actually and some variation of this question and it happens a lot also on podcasts where they're like, if you dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, this – if you had to start over, what would you do? Just these sort of blanket unimaginative questions. I would say no blanket questions. Do prep for conversations. That's the key. It's not about the clever question. You don't get one question. These sort of hypotheticals are just kind of silly, but it depends on the person. You have to prepare for these conversations. That's how you get a high return. For example, if you're going to ask something of somebody who is still running marathons in their 60s, that question would be a lot different than what you'd ask somebody who sold a ton of books. And that question will be different than somebody who worked two jobs and had a big family and was able to afford everything they needed. People always want shortcuts. Eventually you pay for that shortcut and try questions, get trite answers. And if you don't know what to prepare because you're not sure who you're going to run into, like you want something in your back pocket for when you run into somebody in an elevator, then a good general rule is to ask about habits they wish they'd had back in your day. And the reason for this is that most successful people, almost all in fact they're consistent. They consistently train, they consistently learn, they consistently practice. They consistently work on their craft, whatever hone their craft. They don't stumble into things and they're very intentional. So I would ask about the systems and habits they have and then ask what advice they'd give to themselves at your age about those specific things. Then when they give a BS answer that has no substance probe further because you've done your homework.
[00:25:22] Most people give terrible advice because they haven't thought about things thoroughly, and if you don't believe me, just listen to like any podcasts, right? It's your job to dig a bit deeper until you can get something that you can actually use. Ideally though you've prepared yourself by consuming that person's work, you can see what they've accomplished. You can ask something that cuts through all their autopilot answers and gets right to the meat. So if I know I'm going to talk to somebody who's been running marathons in their 60s I won't say, "What's the secret, which is what everybody asks." And that person just internally rolls their eyes and says, "Hey, just run every day. Huh, bye." They've heard that. They know you're not going to apply it. It's just silly. But if you say, "You know, a lot of people who run all the time end up with joint pain, have you suffered from that?" "Well, yeah. You know, but I managed it." "Oh, how do you do that? Well, every time that I feel like I'm getting a little bit of joint pain, I make sure that I'm icing. And even if I don't feel like I'm in pain, I always walk –"You'll get a real answer if you ask that kind of thing. People are often going to give you the BS trite answer because they figured you're never going to use it. You're just making small talks. So why put it in the energy? And usually they're right. So do your homework, get the prep going and make sure you ask the right questions. The reason I'm able to ask the questions that are good on this show is because I spend eight plus hours, maybe 20 hours prepping each guest. It's not because I'm so creative with the questions. I mean that's 10 percent of it. The rest of it is I did the work beforehand and thought of the questions beforehand. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:50] Hey, Jordan, Jason, Jen and team. Do you have any advice for making connections in a new city before arrival? For the past decade I've been living and working in Asia. It's been an amazing experience that I wouldn't change for anything, but now that I've decided to move back home to Canada, I'm facing a career shift and location change. The Level One course has been really helping me reconnect with some of my long dormant connections, but my problem is that I don't have many in the city that I'll be moving to. I should've dug my well 20 years ago, but today is the second best time to start. I'd like to set myself up as much as possible to hit the ground running. What's something that you're glad you had prepared that could easily be overlooked? Was there anything that you wish you'd done but didn't think to prepare beforehand? What are some unexpected things I can encounter when moving to the new city? Thanks again for everything you do. Signed, Need a Leg Up.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:27:37] Well, first of all, congrats on the move and FYI to you and everyone else, I don't do Level One anymore. I've left Advanced Human Dynamics. I've left that brand entirely. I want to focus on something else that I'm doing for the military, law enforcement, and some corporate clients, and I can talk more about civilian events that I'm running later on, but just be aware, I have nothing to do with Advanced Human Dynamics anymore. My likeness should ideally be coming off of that site in the next few weeks at the most. I'm giving the person some time to sort of transition everyone. In the meantime, I've redone the Level One course. It's not called Level One anymore because apparently that new person's going to run that brand, which is weird, but I've got Six-Minute Networking, which is a much better brand and much better name and it's much more descriptive. And that's at jordanharbinger.com/course. It's like what Level One was in terms of networking and relationships, but I've improved upon it. Added new drills, new systems, and some new strategies, re-shot all the videos and added some tools. So jordanharbinger.com/course is where that is.
[00:28:37] As for making new connections, you're right, you need to dig the well before you're thirsty. But since you didn't do that, that's water under the bridge and you've got to start from scratch. So my usual go-to strategy here is to create a list of skills that you want to learn. Look up courses to learn those skills or groups to learn those skills in that city. So if you want to learn Italian cooking and Japanese, look for those classes, sign up for those classes in that town. And some hobby groups and things like that are always great to go. I would say paid is better than free. If you pay for a group Japanese class, it's going to be better than the Japanese meetup where people show up once every six months and then never show up again. And the reason for that is that you're going to end up with a bunch of people that never show up or you're going to end up with people with skin in the game. And they're more serious about learning that skill. So worst case, even if you don't make any friends there, you end up with that skill. So that's sort of a go-to. The other thing I would say is joining running groups, local sports leagues, volunteering, taking dance lessons. My friend met his wife that way. I mean these are all great ways to meet new folks. They're not as good as having done the legwork for a move, but you are too late for that. I also, if you're running your own business, join entrepreneurial groups, career groups as well. Those tend to be really active.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:29:56] It's a slow process, but if you put in the work, you do the follow-up, and you accept the fact that you're going to have to do most of the work, especially in the beginning for new friendships, things will eventually snowball and you'll create a circle for yourself. It will likely take several months, possibly, and probably even years for this to happen. So just get ready for that. It is a longer slog, which is why it's always good to have done prep and kept in touch with people. Because even if you didn't know, even if you're telling yourself, well, I wouldn't have known anyone in Toronto and I'm moving from Tokyo anyway, it doesn't matter because you're, even if you had a big local social circle, those people will know people in the place where you're going. But if you've made no effort at all ever, you're starting from zero, which is really tough. That's like moving to a different country where you don't speak the language and you know no one, it's really, really tough.
[00:30:46] So you'll be fine. But man, let this be a lesson to sort of everybody who thinks I'm never going to move. It doesn't matter. You know, you never know and you've got to make sure that you're doing this stuff and creating circles you have to it. Otherwise, you're going to end up – and this can really just negatively impact your income and your whole professional and personal life and it does all the time. I feel like we get this question a lot.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:31:11] We'll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after these important messages.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:31:15] This episode is sponsored in part by TripActions. There's a reason half of business travelers do not use their company's chosen travel management platform and part of that is because booking business travel is ridiculously outdated. It's time consuming. It's costly. I think I told this last time we had this, but I remember when I was working on Wall Street, my flights kept getting canceled because, of course, those travel companies, I don't know what it is. They probably charge like some kinds of fees based on – I don't even know. But they would have me on these like six leg flights. I'm like, "I'm just going to Detroit. What's the problem? Why do I have two layovers? What is going on here?" So I always had issues with that. And then to call them, you couldn't, you had to like call an operating desk and I'm like at the airport, so F all that. If you're frustrated with your company's travel management program or lack thereof, look into TripActions. It's a really complete solution. It helps businesses save money, keeps the employees happy and it's the first travel management platform designed from the ground up with the actual road warrior in mind. So you can book using an app or desktop 24/7, proactive local support around the globe. So they've got people from the United States, Canada, whatever, answering your call 24/7 and then routing you the right place. Not just like connecting you to United so that you can wait on their queue. They will help you with this. They've got incentives for employees to save companies large and small, see 90 percent adoption and save up to 30 percent on travel when they use TripActions, which is pretty impressive. Lift to Sarah Lee's frozen bakery trust TripActions with their business travel and they'll send you push notifications while you're at the gate, before the airlines even announced flight delays or cancellations, and then they instantly connect you to an agent of their own, not of the airline to get rebooked. That's a big deal. That will save you a lot of time, a lot of headache. Jason.
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Jordan Harbinger: [00:33:25] This episode is also sponsored by Wrangler.
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Jordan Harbinger: [00:34:11] This episode is also sponsored in part by Brother.
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[00:35:09] Thanks for listening and supporting the show, your support of our advertisers. This is what keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. And if you're listening to the show on the Overcast player, please click that little star next to the episode. It really helps us out. Now back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:30] Hi Jordan. Hope you're well. I'm a Canadian co-op student in a very competitive double degree program where I received a B-math in statistics and a BBA in finance simultaneously from two different schools. I'm working this co-op term in equity capital markets at a large Canadian bank in Toronto and I'm interested in moving into investment banking long term. I've dug my well and have lots of contacts across the "street" in Toronto, but I'm interested in moving South of the border after graduation and therefore securing a co-op placement or internship in investment banking in New York for the fall would be a big help towards that goal. The problem is that I have very few contacts in New York City and don't know how to develop them. I've been reaching out by email from contacts I've added on LinkedIn, but it seems quite fruitless. I'm going to New York with the goal of meeting as many bankers as possible for coffees at least once in March, but because it's the weekend, many of the few I know are out of town. I'm trying to make these trips count and I'm wondering if you have any ideas beyond what I've already tried. Thanks for your time. Future banker in Need of Some Social Capital.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:30] So this sort of is almost just like the previous question but what I will say aside from the advice that I just mentioned earlier, check out your university alumni connections and see who works at those banks. Reach out to those people using their college email address, which they probably have forwarded to something that they actually check. Also reach out to recruiters in the city. Not only are they going to potentially help you get a job or get placed, but they know people at the banks, they know people in all these different jobs. They know what it's going to take to get in. If you're reaching out to recruiters and not just people at the banks themselves, they'll be incentivized to generate relationships with you. The recruiters are really good at starting relationships. I remember going out to lunch and dinner with tons of recruiters even when I was happily employed because they just figured, look, if I have a relationship with this guy over the next couple of years, then in five years when I've got to place him somewhere, he'll trust me. And so reach out to recruiters that are very responsive. They're essentially salesmen so they actually know how to check their email. They know how to follow up with calls. They're going to be great people to be in touch with. They also know people that they've placed. So they could potentially hook you up with those people for informal or informational interviews because it helps them do what they want to do, which is place you later on. And if email is not working entirely, call the company operator. So if you call Deutsche Bank and you ask for that person by name, request them. See if you can get them by phone. Keep it really brief. They're probably in the middle of something. Here's what's going to happen. They'll answer the phone, they'll be surprised to hear from you. They'll make an excuse why they haven't seen your email, but now they know you're serious. It's not annoying if you're respectful of their time and this is a tough field to get into. It's a tough field to work into. But, of course, if you want it you'll get it. Look, you seem like you're no stranger to hard work. You just got to go around a couple of the gatekeepers because these are some of the busiest, most overworked people in finance. All right, next.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:38:23] Hey, Jordan and Jason. I've been in education for 22 years now and I'm getting so burnt out. I'm currently an elementary assistant principal and I know that I've made a difference in the lives of the kids and families that I've served, but I'm looking at doing something outside of the school system. My friends and family say I should stay in it to get my 30 years in for retirement, but I don't want to stay in something just to make it to retirement. Over the past few months I've been looking for other jobs that still have ties to education but aren't bound to school or state restrictions per se. I want to do something where I can be part of an organization that builds future leaders of tomorrow, but many of them train people to be certified coaches and then they're supposed to go out on their own. I'm not ready for that just yet and want to be part of a brand that helps build the leaders of tomorrow now. I'm not sure if I should try to start something on my own instead. What are your thoughts on staying in a job just to make retirement and what suggestions do you have as to where I can look to find what I need to do? Sincerely, Frustrated in Florida.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:39:19] Yeah, you definitely don't need to become a certified coach if you have 22 years of education experience. I've done the certified coaching thing and I remember going, "Okay, that was pretty basic." If you have 22 years of experience, you don't need that. You're going to be competing against 22-year-olds who were born when you started teaching basically.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:39:37] Yeah.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:39:37] And don't know to check in with people and how to communicate things clearly and to have people held accountable. So I'm with you. I understand. I would say never – and I always say this, don't ever go all-in. Never quit your job until there's a solid plan and you're doing something that is already generating revenue and that is taking up so much of your time that you can't scale without quitting your job. That's the rule. Don't go all-in because you need to figure out, because you want to sit at home or you don't like your job. The new endeavor has to be pulling you in because it's generating so much and you love it so much. It can't be your job that you hate pushing you out. And I think this is very relevant for you because it doesn't even sound like you know what you want to do yet. So the worst thing you should do is quit your job.
[00:40:24] What you might find is by exploring different opportunities, you feel like your current career is actually much more tolerable, right? So yeah, you want to do something else, but you're taking steps towards that without sacrificing the security that you have. Also look into private universities. I don't know, you said you don't want the constraints of the state or the legislature or whatever, but private universities might have a little bit more autonomy. Also look at leadership training companies that are more corporate. Dale Carnegie courses have tons of teachers. It's a franchise. A lot of them work at night, so you can do that. Join up, something like that. See if it's for you and you'll parlay your skill set from education. You'll get into speaking. You could go in-house at a company once you get some experience doing that. That is where I would start. Because I think a lot of people go, "Oh, I have this dream in my head about what this is going to be like," and then you end up teaching people who have stage fright to go introduce themselves in front of a room at a Dale Carnegie class. And you go, "Actually, maybe I want to make a left turn into corporate stuff," and then you get a couple corporate gigs and you find out that it's Dale Carnegie. Only people don't even want to be there because their boss is making them go and go, "Oh, okay. Maybe I want to do something else." So you've got to test the waters and the best time to do that is when you're getting paid steadily by somebody else. Okay. Last but not least.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:41:43] Hi, Jordan. What do you do to help make major decisions in life? I'm struggling with the direction of my life right now. Mainly whether I should stay in my current city or move or stay here and just leave my current job. I've been living in the Washington DC area for three years and have a decent job, but I'm bored with the area and really miss Florida where I used to live. I try to weigh the pros and cons of where I'm at now. The pros, my job is rewarding and I'm paid well with extremely reasonable hours, much better than what I'll find in Florida. There's also no shortage of things to do in the area.
[00:42:15] Didn't she just say she was bored of the area.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:17] Yeah. Weird.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:42:18] Okay. I'm just saying that little indecisive there, so we're getting started.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:22] Yeah. Good point. Yeah. I'm bored of the area, but there's so much going on. I just hate all of it. Like, okay, all right.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:42:28] The cons, I have no friends or family here in DC and while rewarding my work environment can be toxic. Every time I'm ready to throw in the towel and change jobs and or move, I have doubts whether I'll regret my decision. I feel like maybe I should give it more time with my job or maybe I should make more effort and making friends here, which has been extremely hard. What advice can you give me on making the decision? Thanks. Decidedly undecided.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:42:52] This is a common question with a common in-built mistake. I actually don't see the pros and cons of moving to Florida. It might seem self-explanatory. Maybe I'm missing something here, but it isn't really done. I only really see half your thinking here. I see pros and cons on DC only, and maybe I'm supposed to fill in the blanks here, but I'm willing to bet that if you sat down and you did pros and cons for Florida and you showed them to me, we'd seal a lot of idealization. "Oh, I have all my old friends back and it'll be great. I'll see my family all the time. Yeah, I won't have a job that pays as much, but oh, it's going to be so great. I can go back to all these things I used to do 20 years ago and it'll be the same." So on the one hand, life's too short to be miserable in a job. If you're hating life, get to building a better life someplace else, even if the pay is lower to start, but you should know what you're getting into because I think there's probably pros and cons for Florida that you haven't fairly evaluated yet.
[00:43:52] Alternately, you can work to the point where they can't afford to lose you and see if you can work remotely from Florida or work at another office. I don't know what you do. I don't know enough about your situation to really answer that part. But what I will say is that it sounds like you're afraid of taking a job for less money, which should only be valid if you actually need the money to accomplish something. And I know you can always find a use for money, but getting money for money's sake is not a good idea. Otherwise, you're trading happiness and quality of life for money that you then have no plan to leverage to increase quality of life and balance out that sacrifice. So a lot of people would be like, "No, I need this because I've got these kids and they're great, and then I'm going to send them here and I'm going to retire at this age and I need X dollars a month to do that." Cool. I get it. But if you are just like, "Well, I'm making 20 grand more a year, there's no way I'd get that in Florida." Then move to Florida and just forget it. If you really have no friends in DC. I would also examine why this might be the case. If you're moving to Florida, why would whatever it is that you're doing in DC to not make any friends and have no life? Why would moving to Florida change anything? Maybe you've got your old friends and family there. Are you sure they're going to be the same people they were when you left? Are you going to be interested in hanging out with them again? You got to make sure that too. A lot of people want to move to a new city or country only to find out. They just brought all their problems with them. You know?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:45:17] Yup.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:45:17] There's an old saying, wherever you go, there you are, and I had that problem. I used to move around to different countries I'd be like, "Great. When I moved to Israel, I'm going to have an awesome girlfriend and my friends are going to be so cool and we're going to hang out all the time doing dah, dah, dah." And then that wouldn't happen. I moved to Mexico and I'd be like, "Great, okay, cool. I'm going to do this and I'm going to meet all these awesome people," and then I'd be like, "What's the problem here?" And then I realized, oh, I'm not doing what I need to do to create these social circles and make friends and putting in the work. And then when I finally did that, I could move anywhere and make great circles. And so yeah, I magically, my problems were not left at baggage claim when I got off the airplane, I brought all that crap with me,
Jason DeFillippo: [00:45:57] Been there, done that, that's for sure. The one thing that I would say is if you are banking on your friends to still be in Florida, if like that's where you grew up, all your friends are there and you think you can just walk back in and jump back into the old circles. I would do some due diligence on that because people change over time. People have lives, they have families, they have jobs and people move and it might not be the place that you thought it was. I went back to Chicago a couple of years ago and I had a ton of friends there because I spent most of my youth there and I got back there and three people were left. That was it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:29] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:30] They're still really good friends. I've known him for 20 years, but they were all that was left of my entire circle from the old days. And I just assumed a bunch of people would still be there, but that's not the case.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:39] Yeah. They move or they live there and they're like, "Dude, I've got three kids and two jobs. I'll see you at Christmas."
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:44] Exactly. Yeah. I hung out with my friend for a little while, but he's like, "I got to go home to the wife. I got to go fix the sink." And my other friend's like, "Yeah, I got to go to work in the morning. I can't hang out tonight." We grow up and we grow apart and things just change. So make sure that you take that change into account before you just try and plop yourself back into a situation that you used to have because you can never go back.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:05] Exactly. It's kind of like, "Oh man, I should move to Ann Arbor. Remember we used to go out four nights a week and everybody was cool. We'd go chill and guys would just wander into our apartment and we'd have friends on and we would just chill and somebody would toss you a beer." That literally won't happen again with those same people. You would have to rebuild that very deliberately. And I shudder to think who at age 39 wants that same. So like it's a feeling that you may be chasing not the actual reality of that life. And that's dangerous.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:47:38] Yeah, that's a very good point.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:47:39] You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying, Jason? Like Florida was so great or Chicago was so great, and it's like you will literally go back there and nothing will be in place and you'll go, "Oh crap, I'm just in a colder version of what I had in LA." So you got to be careful. Do the pros and cons for Florida. Do that diligence.
[00:47:57] Life Pro Tip. Jason, this one's from you.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:48:00] Yup. I've been doing this one for, oh God, like 15, 20 years now. This is when I was from my prepper days. I was always worried about the big one because I was in California and I'm like, "Oh we're going to have a big earthquake." So I came up with this a long time ago and what I do is I treat the halfway point on my gas tank as empty. That's always it. Never below half a tank. Because if you're in an area like, like this one here is prone to natural or man-made disasters, you're going to want to be able to get out if something does happen. Because people who just run out of gas and want to hit the gas station when something, you know when the ish hits the fan, they're going to just back up the gas stations. They're going to be stuck here in, it's going to cause traffic jams and all sorts of bad things can happen. So if you treat your gas tank just as half empty is empty, then if something does happen, you have a ton of room to get out of town and find a gas station while everybody else is still stuck back in the city. This also works too, when there's a family emergency and you have to get in the car and go somewhere, you don't want to be like, "Oh, my son just cut his arm and we have to get to the hospital right now. We can't wait for the ambulance." You get in the car and it's like you're on E and you have to pull over and get gas. It's just planning ahead to make sure that you have the resources that you need to get somewhere when that time comes and the time may never come, but it's a good thing to do. That's very easy to do.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:49:19] Yeah. Literally all it is a shift in thinking. You don't have to invest in anything. You don't have to do anything.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:49:25] Yeah. You don't have to do anything.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:49:26] Yeah. You just literally treat that halfway mark is basically, that's E.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:49:31] Yeah, that's it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:49:31] I can dig it. One from me is that I use this tool called Rebump and it's R-E-B-U-M-P. it's for Gmail. I've been using it for close to three years and I have a rescue rate of 32 percent which is pretty high. What this tool does is – you install it, it's like five bucks a month or something like that. Installs in literally a minute and you can use it right out of the box. And what it does is it follows up with people for you if they don't reply. So when I'm pitching guests and things like that, I can type in the pitch and send it and then I click the Rebump checkbox and then if they don't reply, it's like, "Hey, circling back on this. Hey thought I'd follow up on this." And I only do a couple because otherwise it's annoying and it's really, really useful for getting a hold of busy people. It does come with some pre-canned templates, which I started using. I later tailored to myself. Five bucks a month for the unlimited plan, 12 bucks a month for the unlimited-plus plan, which comes with some metrics and things like that, so it's super, super affordable. You can specify the delay between each one, the time that it sends. It'll remind people up to 10 times. It'll track if the email was open and read. You can personalize it. You can create unlimited different types of bumps or you can have different types of follow-ups for each one and it really integrates easily with CRMs and things like that. I love it. It's for Gmail and one thing that's great is it's got this dashboard, you can monitor everything that's out and I know that Gmail has a snooze feature. Rebump does the actual follow-up for you automatically. That's the big difference here and I really love this thing. I think it's super useful and you can go and find that at rebump.cc, rebump.cc. We'll link that in the show notes as well.
[00:51:17] Okay. Recommendation of the week. Jason, have you seen Abducted in Plain Sight?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:51:22] I watched it yesterday. Oh my God.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:51:26] First of all, I started to quickly lose sympathy for those people. I mean not the girl, obviously her parents were just – I wanted to punch my iPad.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:51:35] Ah, we all did. We all did. Yeah. There's more articles on how terrible the parents are in this entire story. Then I think anything else so far?
Jordan Harbinger: [00:51:42] Oh God. It's just unbelievable. And then, 20 minutes in – I won't spoil it, but Jason, what were you – when you heard that? Did you hit–? I hit rewind and I was like, "Wait, hold on. I must've misunderstood. What happened here?" And then I was like, "Nope, Nope. I got it. I understood."
Jason DeFillippo: [00:52:00] My roommate and I paused it and just started screaming at each other like, "What?"
Jordan Harbinger: [00:52:05] I know.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:52:07] For like five minutes. We're like, "No, no, no, no way. Can't be." Yup, sure enough.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:52:12] Yeah.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:52:13] It was just like, wow. This story gets crazier and crazier every minute. And it doesn't get anything non-crazier.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:52:20] No, I know. So this girl, this little girl, she was abducted twice by a friend of the family. Kind of like with the parents' permission in a weird way. I don't want to – I can't give away too much.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:52:31] Yeah, don't spoil it.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:52:33] It's a true-crime documentary. This neighbor who's a pedo, I mean it's just, it's so crazy, this guy and he's a manipulator, but also these people are just like the most ridiculous target. Just absolutely unreal. So that's on Netflix. I was watching this Jason. I downloaded it on my iPad, you know, so that I could watch it on the plane and when I got to that part I started laughing in this really uncomfortable way that people on the plane were kind of like – I felt like maybe people are looking at me, you don't know how loud you are with noise canceling headphones on.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:53:04] Yeah.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:53:04] So then I pause it, I go to the bathroom and I just lose it a little bit and I'm like washing my face because I'm like, "Wait, wait, wait." I go back and sit down and I'm giggling and the guy next to me is like thinking, I'm watching some sort of comedic thing and he was like, "Hey, guy, what are you watching?" I go, "Ah, Abducted in Plain Sight," and he gave me this look like, that's not creepy right now. I'm just like giggling in the chair and being like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, "Oh yeah, it's pretty, pretty harrowing. I'm just like, oh God, I'm a terrible person." Abducted in Plain Sight on Netflix.
[00:53:36] We all had the same reaction. It's just like, oh my God. As soon as I got off the plane, I texted Jen, I was like, "You got to watch this and also let me know what you think about 20 minutes in." And she was like, "Why, what happens?" I was like, "Just trust me. Watch it." She texted me later, she's like, exactly 21 minutes or whatever it was, you know, 19 minutes and 40 seconds.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:53:54] Yeah.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:53:54] "What?" I was like, yeah. She watched it with my brother-in-law, Glenn. She's like, "We just rewound it and we were like, wait, wait, hold on. Did I understand that correctly?" See if you do a double take on it with Abducted in Plain Sight.
[00:54:08] Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Don't forget, you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to get your questions answered on the air. We always keep you anonymous. A link to the show notes for this episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. All the links will be in there that we talked about today.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:54:25] Quick shout out to Taylor Moser for sending us all these hippeas. It's like hip-peas and we're not sponsored by them, but they're tasty puffs made from chickpeas. My favorite flavor is the white cheddar. And Rick who wrote in, "I loved the Feedback Friday, especially talking about the addiction." His 27-year-old son battled opioid addiction since high school and what's really a bummer – Jason, remember we were talking about how people with drug addictions sort of freeze. "He was 16, he had a ton of advantages way ahead of the game. Now he's 27 and he's kind of like still in his late teens." It's really tough.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:01] So 11 years.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:02] Yeah, yeah. It's, I'm sorry to hear about that Rick. Thanks for listening as well. It is rough. You freeze emotionally and mentally in many ways when you start doing too many drugs. It's just one of those things. I'm not totally sure how it works, but I think you just miss out so much on life experience that you don't develop as quickly.
[00:55:24] So go and check out the Mike Posner and Nathan Latka episodes if you haven't yet. And if you want to know how we managed to book all of these amazing guests and manage relationships using systems, tiny habits, consistency in just a few minutes per day, check out Six-Minute Networking. It's a free course. It's over at jordanharbinger.com/course. That course replaces the old Level One course and has a bunch of upgraded drills, tech, and systems in there. Again, I've left Advanced Human Dynamics. I no longer do Level One at all or AHD at all. And the problem is, look, don't kick the can down the road. I know a lot of you are thinking, "I'll do it later." You need those relationships. You're going to be too late. If you don't believe me, just think of those questions people asked today here on Feedback Friday. The drills are designed to take a few minutes per day. You ignore these types of things at your own peril. It really is the stuff I wish I knew 20 years ago. Jordanharbinger.com/course. I'm on Instagram and Twitter at @JordanHarbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show and jordanharbinger.com/youtube is where all of the video interviews are on YouTube. Jason, where can they find you?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:56:27] My personal websites over at jpd.me and that has links to all my socials and other stuff that I'm doing and you can also check out my tech podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks over at gog.show or your podcast player of choice.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:56:38] This show is produced in association with PodcastOne and this episode was co-produced by Jen Harbinger. Show notes for the episode or by Robert Fogarty. Keep sending in those questions to email@example.com. Share the show with those you love and those you don't. Lots more in the pipe. Very excited. I got some great people coming up as guests as well. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show, so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:57:04] New to PodcastOne, check out Two Cups of Joe with Joey Fatone and Joe Mulvihill. Hot off his appearance on the Masked Singer, the NSYNC singer turned actor joins his manager of 25 years to take you behind the curtain of pop culture with their unique connections in showbiz. Download Two Cups of Joe with Joey Fatone and Joe Mulvihill every Thursday on PodcastOne or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
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