You’re in your thirties, and although you’ve had reasonable success running your own business, you’ve always believed that you were lazy and unmotivated. You recently got diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall, and everything changed for the better. You’re finally a hard worker, don’t get distracted easily, and finish things you start. It’s been a huge lifesaver and a huge boost to your self-confidence.
After hearing Jordan talk about his negative experiences with Adderall in high school on the Darren Prince episode, it got you concerned.
Your brother has been using Adderall for years, and said something that worried you. While on vacation, he lost his prescription and felt the need to find a doctor who could write him an emergency prescription. He regularly has to restrict towards the end of the month to make sure he doesn’t run out, which signals he’s taking extra doses.
Should you be concerned for your brother getting addicted?
Are you at risk of becoming dependent if you stay on it for years?
We’ll talk about this and much more on this latest episode of Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn’t already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now let’s dive in!
On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
- Interested in doing some prison time with Jordan for his birthday this February? The trip is officially full, but if you really, really want to go, reach out to email@example.com and we’ll do our best to squeeze you in!
- Adderall’s been a godsend in helping you focus since you were diagnosed with ADHD, but you worry you might become dependent on it over time. How can you avoid becoming addicted to study drugs?
- As a police officer, you train recruits to communicate effectively by treating people like humans, building rapport, and displaying empathy. So what’s the best way for an officer to build rapport quickly during, for example, the brief interaction of a traffic stop?
- You want to help your mom move closer to you and the rest of the family because you know it will help alleviate her depression, but you’re not exactly rich. How can you raise a loan or borrow money to cover her move and a place to live in a short amount of time?
- You slacked in high school and now you’re a 30-year-old custodian. You have the ambition to return to school and seek work in the infosec/cybersecurity industry, but your wife is unable to work and you make just enough to get by. How can you stay working full time and return to school without spending money you don’t have?
- What are our thoughts on investing in cryptocurrency in 2020?
- What’s more important: Living the lifestyle you want while going through financial struggles, or working a job you hate that provides you with all the material items I could want?
- Life Pro Tip: As soon as you’re around someone new, introduce yourself. It makes future interactions much less awkward, you seem confident if you do this, and it gets rid of the hardest step in any relationship, which is the initial interaction.
- Recommendation of the Week: Scamalot
- A quick shoutout to Cynthia LaChance!
- Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org!
- Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
- Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, join his podcasting club, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!
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Resources from This Episode:
- Megan Phelps-Roper | Unfollowing Westboro Baptist Church Part One, TJHS 302
- Megan Phelps-Roper | Unfollowing Westboro Baptist Church Part Two, TJHS 303
- Darren Prince | Hitting Bottom at the Top, TJHS 274
- Dr. Drew Pinsky | Give the World the Best You Have Anyway, TJHS 72
- Treating ADD Naturally | Vanessa Fitzgerald, The Genius Life 52
- Chase Hughes | Why Authority Is More Influential than Skill, TJHS 102
- The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters by Maria Popova, Brain Pickings
- The Teacher’s Dilemma: A Game-Based Approach for Motivating Appropriate Challenge among Peers, Brandeis
- Derren Brown | Using the Power of Suggestion for Good, TJHS 150
- Feedback Friday | Borrowing and Loaning Money Without Losing Friends, TJHS 29
- Amazon Registry
- Home Depot
- Better Help
- Jordan, Darknet Diaries 56
- Best Free Cybersecurity Courses Online in 2020: For Training against Cyberattacks, Techradar Pro
- Carter Thomas | Top Cryptocurrency Tips for New Kids on the Blockchain, TJHS 79
- Scamalot, Amazon Prime
Transcript for How to Avoid Addiction to Study Drugs | Feedback Friday (Episode 304)
Jordan Harbinger: [00:00:03] Welcome to Feedback. Friday, I’m your host Jordan Harbinger, and I’m here with producer Jason DeFillippo. On The Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world’s most brilliant and interesting people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. If you’re new to the show on Fridays, we give advice to you and answer listener questions. The rest of the week, we have long-form interviews and conversations with a variety of amazing folks from spies to CEOs, athletes to authors, thinkers, and performers.[00:00:32] This week we had Megan Phelps-Roper. It’s a two-parter. Rarely do we do this, but she was just absolutely fascinating. She left the Westboro Baptist Church, which is one of the icons, just symbols of hate in America. She’s an amazingly thoughtful and introspective person. I just loved this conversation. I know you will as well. It was a fascinating and thought-provoking discussion on everything from the church to growing up in a cult to how you recover from that. And she is absolutely one of a kind. I highly recommend diving into Megan Phelps-Roper, Part One and Part Two from this week as well. [00:01:07] Of course, our primary mission here on The Jordan Harbinger Show is to pass along our guests and our own experiences and insights along to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you, and that’s what we do today and every Friday here on Feedback Friday. We want to place one brick in the structure that makes up your life. That’s what this whole show is really about. You can reach us for questions at Friday@jordanharbinger.com. [00:01:30] The prison trip is full. If you’re meaning to send me that email and you really want to go, shoot me a letter at email@example.com. I’ll see if we can squeeze you in. We’re already oversubscribed by a few dozen, but if you’re dying to go, we’d love to have you, firstname.lastname@example.org, February 25th to 26th in Reno, Nevada. I feel bad because a lot of people are, you know, Jason, they listen the month or two later and they’re going, “Oh, I really want to do this. I just heard about it.” It’s really down to the wire now — email@example.com if you want to take part in that for my 40th birthday at a maximum-security prison, helping the inmates with all kinds of educational programs stuff. It’s their graduation, so it’s going to be a lot of fun, and fun behind bars. I don’t know. That sounds weird somehow. That sounds tacky to say that somehow, but that’s not how I mean it. It’s going to be just an amazing life-changing experience. Jason, what’s the first thing out of the mailbag?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:02:23] Hey, Jay’s to the cubed. I’m in my 30s and although I’ve had reasonable success running my own business, I’ve always believed that I was lazy and unmotivated. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall and everything changed for the better. I’m finally a hard worker, don’t get distracted easily, and finish things that I start. It’s been a huge lifesaver and a huge boost to my self-confidence. After hearing Jordan talk about his negative experiences with Adderall and high school and on the Darren Prince episode, it got me concerned. My brother has been using Adderall for years and said something that worried me. While on vacation, he lost his prescription and felt the need to find a doctor who could write him an emergency prescription. He regularly has to restrict towards the end of the month to make sure he doesn’t run out, which signals he’s taking extra doses. Should I be concerned for my brother getting addicted? Am I at risk of becoming dependent if I stay on it for years? Thanks and signed, All Worried About Adderall.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:03:16] Well, my experience with Adderall, I’m as ADD as possible — looking back as a kid, I assumed I was ADD because I’d be lost in thought all the time. I couldn’t focus to save my life. Now, I think I just wasn’t a good fit for the way that school was taught, and I still don’t think I could do it even as an adult. So, I’m not sure if that’s ADD or if that’s just the way that my brain is wired. But when I was in college, a girlfriend of mine, she had told me and tried to convince me that I was ADD because she and all her brothers were, and she saw the common wiring with me and all this. She gave me an Adderall pill and I took it the next day and I thought, “Oh my gosh, is this how normal people feel all day?” Because I was on fire, I was paying attention in class, I was raising my hand, I was engaged in discussion, I was taking notes. I just never felt more on top of it. Well, on weekends I would take off and not take it and things like that, and I felt myself really needing it for school, and eventually, as summers would roll around, I would stop taking it and I’d be fine and be myself again.[00:04:18] I really don’t love Adderall. I went in for another prescription, this is again, like 15 years ago now, and the doctor said, “Why do you need this?” I said, “Oh, I have ADD. He goes, “Are you sure?” And I said, “Yeah, I have been that way for a year or so now. And I got a prescription from a doctor.” He asked me the whole process of getting that prescription and truth be told, I just went into a regular doctor, said I took my girlfriend’s medication and that it worked, and he gave me a script. So, I’ve never been diagnosed in any legitimate way. I’ve never been tested in any legitimate way for this. They used to give these out like candy. When I was walking out of the doctor’s office at the University Health Services in Michigan, the doctor followed me out and said, “Hey, please don’t take this medication. It kills people. There are guys your age and younger getting heart attacks in other countries from it. It’s bad for you. It’s addictive. I bet you don’t need it. If you got into school without it, please don’t take this.” And I said, “Well, maybe I’ll just take it for exams.” I never forgot that as you can see. [00:05:15] Just seeing a doctor that concern for me was shocking. I mean, how many times in your life do you have a doctor write you a prescription and beg you not to take it? It never happens. So, I’m a little bit on the fence when it comes to this. There are some people that need it. They can’t function without it. It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. There’s really no getting around it. It’s terrible for your heart and your body. You shouldn’t just go off of it randomly without talking to a doctor. That turned out to be a mistake. Me telling people. “Hey, don’t take it. It’s bad for you.” That’s no good. Me going off it without any warning in the summer is no good. That is not how you get off of a medication that may be addictive or any medication for that matter, especially one that has a psychoactive effect. [00:05:53] If you think you are potentially addicted, get help. There’s psychological addiction of course, where you think you need it. There’s physical addiction where you have symptoms if you try to get off, both are severe. Who knows? Psychological maybe even worse because it’s potentially harder to kick. Addiction specialists like Dr. Drew had things to say about that. In fact, when I was looking at this question, I shot Dr. Drew a message because he had texted me about something else. That just sounded like a name drop but whatever, I’m leaving it there. Dr. Drew said, “Things are either addictive or they’re not. If you can’t stop, that’s a biological phenomenon. Adderall is dextroamphetamine. It’s disastrous for people with addiction history.” So, if you or your brother have any sort of addiction history at all, or there’s an addiction in the family, or you’re dealing with something else, or he’s dealing with something else, be very, very aware that this could be horrible and have horrifying consequences for you and your family. You need to see someone with a lot of experience treating addictive pathologies, namely a physician, especially a physician that specializes in addiction. [00:06:52] If you’re getting addicted to something — and this goes for everybody — if you’re getting addicted to something, see a doctor. If you’re not sure you’re getting addicted to something, see a doctor. If you don’t really think so, but maybe there’s a slight chance that you’re maybe feeling a little addicted or psychologically or physically, see a doctor. The earlier you nip this type of addiction in the bud — or a habit if you don’t want to call it an addiction just yet — the earlier you nip it in the bud, the better your chances of kicking the habit and recovering before something terrible happens. I’m not saying you’re going to OD. I’m not saying you’re going to go into heroin or anything like that, but being addicted to any sort of prescription drug is a bad sign. [00:07:28] And look, if your brother is on vacation and he has to take it and then go see an emergency doctor outside of Disneyland to get a script, that’s not a good sign. You know, when I was taking Adderall back in college, I’ve lost a bottle. I remember this is before we knew how bad it was. I remember selling it to friends in medical school for exams and stuff like the stupid crap like that. And I didn’t miss it. You know? I would just have trouble focusing. If he’s going to a doctor to get an emergency script while you’re on vacation because he can’t deal or live life without it. That is the definition of an addiction. So best of luck. Keep in touch. Let me know how this goes. Do not delay. See a doctor yourself. In fact, if you’re trying to convince him to do it, tell him that you went because you were concerned for yourself. It’s a little bit easier to stomach when somebody goes for themselves and says, “By the way, I know you take this too.” It’s a lot harder when someone says, “By the way, we all think you’re addicted and we’re judging you.” That’s not a good way to gain someone’s trust. I do worry for you and I worry for your brother, so please keep in touch and let us know how this goes. All right, next up,
Jason DeFillippo: [00:08:29] Afternoon, everyone. I’m a police officer in Las Vegas where my current assignment is a training and counseling officer. Simply put, I work at our police academy training recruits to become police officers. One of the blocks of instruction I teach, and by far my favorite is our verbal communication class. This class is approximately 10 hours broken into five different sections. The emphasis in my class is based on three things. Treat people like humans, building rapport, and displaying empathy. Obviously, in the world of law enforcement, there are occasions where it’s simply impossible to build rapport, i.e. someone going to harm or kill someone immediately. Fortunately, in most situations, we do have time to build rapport. That time varies depending on the situation. For example, I teach that if we stop someone for speeding, we may only have a few seconds to build that relationship, but if we respond to a person that passed away, we may have minutes to hours to build rapport with family members. What’s your opinion on the best way for an officer to build rapport in a few seconds, such as during a car stop or if we may stop someone that matches the description of a suspect? Building rapport in this situation will help build and maintain cooperation between the officer and the person they are investigating. I already use a lot of what I learned from your podcasts in my class. I was hoping to get your thoughts towards rapport in a law enforcement scenario versus business. Thank you. Signed, Officer Friendly.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:09:47] I’ve got some ideas here and I’m going to blend them with an answer from Chase Hughes. He’s a former show guest, friend of mine, friend of the show. He trains the military, law enforcement, and intelligence services, this type of stuff. This is what he does for a living. We’ll link to his stuff in the show notes in case you’re interested in learning more. Great guy to learn from. I’ve taken his courses, a great person to work with and learn from. So, here’s my answer combined with Chase. Honestly, this is a little tricky because first things first, you need to process this advice through the filter you use when being as safe as possible on the job. If you’ve got training that says not to do any of the things, I’m telling you, or if you can see this interfering in a way that’s not safe, don’t do it. Safety first when it comes to traffic stops or any police action. I think we all know traffic stops are the most dangerous part of an officer’s job. Don’t modify what works just to do this.[00:10:40] One easy thing you can do is have your hand over your heart when you’re talking. This makes you seem more sincere. You don’t have to exaggerate it and definitely don’t use your weapon hand, but you can hold your hand over your heart. It’s a signal that you’re being sincere. It’s a little bit old and hard-wired into humans. A head tilt signals curiosity which makes questions seem more feel less invasive. So, if you’re going to say, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Instead of leaning in or being dominant and having your hand on, on your weapon, your other hand on your hip. You can keep your hand on your weapon if you need to, but if you have a head tilt at the same time, the question’s going to seem less invasive and less aggressive. If you raise your eyebrows, you’ll also look curious and limit anger expressions, if any. So, if you’re a cop that maybe has what you might call an aggressive resting face, raising your eyebrows should mitigate that a little bit. It signals curiosity instead of anger or aggression, and it can kind of destroy that RBF that a lot of us have been referring to in other letters. Using sir, using ma’am, which I’m sure you do already, that’s respectful. Keep doing that. [00:11:39] Avoid 90-degree angles. So, if you’re facing someone directly, try to angle away at 45 degrees. I don’t know if this makes you less safe. Check with other officers, check with your training department and see if this makes you less safe, less able to deploy force if needed. But if you’re not facing someone directly in a perpendicular way, you can angle away at 45 that will do the trick and make you seem less of a threat, less hostile. This is all subconscious and all psychological, so people who are easily triggered or who are predisposed to hostility, they’ll be less triggered at a 45-degree angle. It’s kind of hard to explain this in a radio format, but that’s why Chase runs training courses. [00:12:16] Another thing you can do is make a small admission. For example, if you say, “Hey, do you know where XYZ street is? I’m not in this area often.” Or, “Do you know which direction northeast is from here? I’m a bit turned around.” This will take them off guard. It doesn’t matter. Look, you might drive that area every day if you ask them that question. It’s called an admission. It’s not really admitting anything is showing that you’re not totally familiar. You’re giving up a little bit of power, but not in any real way. All you’re saying is, “I’m not 100% sure I’m asking for advice.” It’s kind of a parallel to the Ben Franklin effect. It’s called the teacher’s dilemma. It’s really hard for people to resist giving advice and small pieces of advice, build affinity, and they can help build rapport. Also, you’re not giving anything up. “I’m a little turned around. Which way is north from here?” They might not even know. It doesn’t matter. It puts you on more equal footing. The admission lowers their defenses because of the vulnerability, even if it’s small, and even if it’s a little bit staged. I’m not a fan of lying, but look, this is your safety. This is your job. It’s not really that material. I say, go for it. [00:13:18] It would also be great if you could introduce yourself first thing. I know, you probably have to introduce yourself as officer so-and-so and not, “Hey, I’m Tom,” but do what you can here if it makes sense. And a side note. Anytime you think things might be potentially hostile, either they get emotional or non-verbally hostile during the traffic stop -not talking about physical hostility, that’s a whole other issue and obviously outside my expertise here — use confusion. Derren Brown talked about this in his episode of The Jordan Harbinger Show. He said something like, “The gates around my house in Spain were not 10 feet high,” when he was getting mugged. That example doesn’t matter, but what this confusion does is it puts them into a logical state of mind instead of emotional. It forces them to calculate something. For example, you could say, “Are you the one that called about the Amazon delivery?” It’s confusing. Their brain has to do a quick search. It forces them back into a logical brain. It’s not necessarily going to calm down somebody who’s going ballistic and yelling and screaming at you, but you’ll find that this pattern interrupts this little logical interruption that causes them to have to calculate and sort out a sentence. That is going to reset a little bit of the conversation. Again, it’s hard to explain when it’s not in practice. Give this a shot with anyone. It doesn’t matter if you ask a pizza guy, “Are you the one that called about the Amazon delivery?” These are confusing to anybody who’s not waiting for an Amazon delivery. You’ll see the reaction that you get. I recommend using this on your friends, on the barista at the coffee place, just to sort of get a feel for how it works. Then you’ll be able to deploy it in a situation that makes sense. [00:14:51] Again, you’re the cop. You do this for a living. You’ve got to stay safe. I don’t want you to do anything that’s going to get you in trouble with your superiors, with your body cam footage. “Why do you ask about an Amazon delivery? That’s off-script. We’re going to discipline him for this.” You have to check and make sure that you can do this. I’m just telling you what Chase and I would teach a law enforcement curriculum for de-escalating hostile situations. Thanks to Chase Hughes who teaches this stuff professionally, sometimes with me. And if you’re interested in having Chase and I or just Chase, come to your department or to your organization, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You’ll get a proper course in this that’s longer than, I don’t know, three minutes. We’ll come in and do a day-long training and you’ll learn some amazing stuff.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:15:34] This is Feedback Friday. We’ll be right back after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:15:37] This episode is sponsored in part by SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe home security, it’s like getting a commercial-grade, enterprise-level security system, but for your own home. Think about security Fortune 500 companies use. They need to know the police are going to be there on the scene immediately, and that’s the kind of security you get with SimpliSafe. If there’s a break-in, they use real video evidence to give police an eyewitness account of the crime. And that means the cops can dispatch up to 350 percent faster than a normal burglar alarm, which is, you know, 99 percent of the time a false alarm. With SimpliSafe, you get comprehensive protection for your home. Outdoor cameras, doorbells, alert you to anyone approaching, entry, motion, glass-break sensors, garden side. Plus, SimpliSafe protects your home from fires, water damage, carbon monoxide poisoning. It’s all monitored 24/7 by live security professionals. You can set it up yourself. There are no tools needed. No one’s got to come by and drill holes through the wall. You don’t need a landline. And they can do it for you. If you don’t feel like doing it, it’s only 50 cents a day with no contracts. Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:16:36] Visit simplisafe.com/jordan. That’s S-I-M-P-L-I-safe.com/jordan. You’ll get free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial. You’ve got nothing to lose. Go now and be sure to go to simplisafe.com/jordan so they know that we sent you. That’s simplisafe.com/jordan.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:16:54] this episode is also sponsored by Credible. If you’ve got student loan debt, you can consolidate all your student loan bills in one place so you get some peace of mind. This place has awesome reviews. Credible has been around for a while. You can lower your monthly payment, which is more money in your pocket, save on interest, and you can always check the prequalified rates from up to 10 lenders. A lot of these online marketplaces, you get a range, you get a ballpark, or they want you to go through the whole rigmarole before they’ll show you anything. Prequalified rates are available right on Credible. They just need to know your email, school, degree type, income, whether you rent or own, what you’re paying for rent, your address, estimated loan amount, whether you’re a citizen or not, and what your goal is — are you trying to lower interest, reduce your payment, pay off the debt faster. Checking rate doesn’t impact your credit. So of course, when you decide to refinance, they’ll do a hard pull, but not before that, so you can shop around. They’re so confident that they’ve got the best rates over at Credible. They give you 200 bucks if you refinance your student loans with a better rate someplace else, and they’re not selling your data, you’re not going to get spam. You’re not going to get calls from random lenders in the middle of nowhere. This is all just Credible. And I made sure that they’re stand up over there. Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:18:01] Please visit credible.com/jordan that’s C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E.com/jordan. Fill in a couple of pieces of info to check what rates you’re eligible for. Again, that’s credible.com/jordan. Refinance your student loans and start saving.[00:18:16] Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard of, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. And if you’d be so kind, please drop us a nice rating and review on iTunes or your podcast player of choice. It really helps us out and helps build the show family. If you want some tips on how to do that, just head on over to jordanharbinger.com/subscribe. Now let’s hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:18:43] All right, Jason, what’s next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:18:44] Hi guys. I’m 20, work part time as a chiropractic assistant, and put the rest of my time into helping build my husband’s business and I’m going to furnish a house for my mom and little sister. My mom raised my two siblings and me mostly on her own and we moved quite a few times, 12 times in 14 years due to work in possibly dangerous situations we were put in from my father’s past. She’s sacrificed everything and lived solely for us kids every second of her life. I didn’t realize until a couple of years ago how much it took a toll on her, and since then we’ve become a lot closer. She grew up in an oppressive home. All of her four siblings struggle with mental illness to some degree and married young to a very unfaithful man who broke her heart. Since my mom left him, she lived every day for her children and now with only my 14-year-old sister left at home, she’s finding it difficult to find her purpose in life and heal the brokenness in her mind from all the lonely years. Due to moving so much, she worked in many different positions, self-employed for some of those years. Now, she’s building her knowledge in the bookkeeping business and is looking to relocate one more time so she can live closer to my older brother, his son, and myself. We’re both 26 hours from her currently. I’ve struggled with depression and social anxiety myself and started listening to several podcasts, including yours and learning new self-dialogue and things have come to a whole new light for me. Mom has asked how to help herself. It was a long wait to let her that question, and I recommended several podcasts and therapy and things seem to be getting slightly better for her mentally. Her job has been falling apart for the last five months and as soon as she gets accepted into a position in the new location, I’m planning to go there and help her find a house and furnish it while she goes back and gets my sister and their few belongings. All they own is a set of couches and mattresses and some kitchenware.
I advised her to just sell it instead of moving it across the country. I know not having to worry about getting kicked out or losing her one part-time job will give her the peace of mind needed to work on the healing process. How do I pay for this? I’m planning to get a small loan, at least from a wealthy friend. Everything in writing, even though we’re friends, thanks to you, but an entire house, even with minimal furniture and appliances costs a lot. Do you have any advice on negotiating to get lower prices from warehouse outlets or anything? I’ve considered fundraisers, GoFundMe, anything, but I know as kind as strangers are, they don’t see my mother in the same light as I do and most won’t want to help if they’re not benefiting. I have a small blog and that might be a tool to offer exposure, but I’m still lost. I only have two and a half weeks to pull this off and I need all the help I can get. Thank you for any advice and thank you for helping to show me the light. Signed, Feeling Stuck in the Circle of Life.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:21:16] Wow. You’re 20 and married and helping your mother. I got to say you’re so mature for your age. When I was 20, I was an entitled little prick who was more concerned with my next backpacking trip and if I could get decent internet at my backpacker hostel. I don’t even think I had still probably leeching off my poor parents at that point I assume. I had a crap job that couldn’t pay for what I wanted. I don’t even remember. The point is when I was 20, I was a useless POS like many 20-year-olds. People like you make me feel like the next generation is going to make us proud. I’m moved by this somehow. Jason, what were you doing at 20? I’m dying to know.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:21:49] I was skateboarding and geez, it’s really hard. I was playing a super Nintendo and doing a 30-day fast. That’s what I was doing when I was in my 20s.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:22:02] Geez, I didn’t have the discipline for that. So, I figured a guy like you — because you’ve got sort of started with work early — I figured you had at least a job. I think I was just like, “Where can I study abroad?”
Jason DeFillippo: [00:22:11] No, no. At 20, I’d already been fired from my first job at McDonald’s and found out that I wasn’t really meant for the fast food industry. And I skateboarded all day long and lived on the welfare of my father with my allowance by cleaning the house, looking for a job.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:22:28] You know, it’s funny cause I’m hell-bent and determined on, you know, raising Jaden right and making them a young, productive citizen. And then I look at my own youth and I’m like, “How did my parents let me get away with this crap?” You know what it is? I’m still a bit of a late bloomer. I think I’m still a little bit immature for somebody who’s 39 not like I don’t have anything together, but I look at other people, and trust me, I see plenty of immature people who our own age, but I don’t know I feel like everyone’s ahead. I think that’s probably classic imposter syndrome though. I feel like everyone’s already way ahead of me. In either case, this is impressive and fundraisers are tough, especially when they’re for something like this and it’s not a dire, dire emergency, but it’s for something nice that someone deserves.
It’s hard to do a GoFundMe for this when the person next to you on the page is like, “My eight-month-old has cancer.” It’s like, “Geez, really? You want an IKEA bed and this person is trying to get medical care,” so it’s going to be tough. You can do it but where I’d begin as a more personal appeal. Call some friends and family, tell them what you’re doing, ask for support. And if people are reluctant to give you the funds, ask if you can borrow the funds and set up a real plan to repay those people. It’s not necessarily a charity type thing. You can earn the money back and pay these folks back. Just don’t agree to any crappy deals with high interest or anything.[00:23:42] Folks are more likely to give out a small loan than to donate money for something like this. Many people will be able to give something small, think 25 or 50 bucks from friends and family instead of a larger amount. You know, don’t be asking people for 500 bucks. That’s a tough pill to swallow. That’s some people’s rent. Also, when you’re asking for support, tell people exactly what you’re going to do and what you’re going to get with the money. So instead of saying, “I need money to help my mom move and I need to buy her a bunch of furniture.” Tell people, “I’m raising money to help my mom move, and I need a bed frame and she’s got a ratty old mattress that I want to replace. She deserves a good place to sleep. Here’s the mattress I’m looking at. Here’s the bed frame.” You can even set up one of those Amazon gift registries. That’s what I did for Jayden. I think it might even still be there. If you go to jordanharbinger.com/baby, it’ll show you the registry. You can set that up for free on Amazon and people can buy you this stuff. That way, if people are like, “Oh no, maybe she’s a drug addict now.” They know that you’re not running away with the money, they can just buy the thing and it’ll get shipped to the house. You can put things on there, like three chairs, cheap dining room table, and you could say, “This is the table that you get for 50 bucks. These are the chairs you get for 75 bucks.” People are more likely to go for that because it’s more concrete. They know their money’s going to a good cause and they can buy it directly if they’re a little bit skeptical. Further, you can even price these items out at IKEA, The Salvation Army, a consignment store. Consignment stores, for those of you who don’t know, this is where people take decent used furniture and they put it in the store and they say, “Look, try and sell this sucker for, I don’t know, 90 days.” The store takes half. A lot of nice stuff there. You’ll find some gems there and instead of movers, which may be expensive, hire some neighborhood kids, or if you feel okay with it and you’re not by yourself, if you are not by yourself, enlist some of the guys who hang around outside stores like Home Depot and offer to work for cash on the cheap. Again, do not do this if you’re alone. Safety is the number one concern here. You can also use sites like TaskRabbit to find people to do manual labor on an hourly basis if needed. And look, I don’t mean the guy who’s sleeping outside Home Depot, I mean the carpenter construction labor are looking guys that are dressed to work, that hang out and load stuff in people’s cars and ask for a few bucks. Those guys are all over here. Jason, you have those in LA too, right? You go to Home Depot and there’s like a whole army of guys outside.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:25:54] In Los Angeles as we call them, “You, you, and you’s” because you pointed at them and go, “You, you, and you get in the truck.”
Jordan Harbinger: [00:26:00] Yeah. And they’ve often got their own car. Don’t bring guys in your car. I’m on the fence on this advice because this is like a single 20-year-old female.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:26:07] I tell you what though. No, no, no, no. Here’s what you look for. You look for the guy with the best pickup truck because those guys are like the top-notch guys. They’re not actually licensed contractors or anything like that, but they are professional enough where they can afford a nice Ford F-150. And they can haul stuff for you. They can do the best stuff. We’ve hired so many of these guys for home improvement around here. We know them all by name in our Home Depot. They’re standup guys. You don’t just get the guy that looks like he’s like off the truck of Sanford and Sons. You look for the guy with a really nice Ford F-150. Those are the ones that you go for and you will never go wrong. You’ll get labor like that is about three quarters the price of like, you know, a general person that is licensed to do stuff, but for moving stuff, they’ll give you a break. Because if it’s a slow day and they haven’t gotten any contracting work, if you just need him to pick stuff up, go get it and bring it to your house. You can get that for a steal and they are totally reliable because you know where to find them. They’re there every day.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:27:02] This goes without saying, but also again, make sure you’re not alone and don’t be in the house with these guys, like let them drop stuff off in the garage and go. You know how to do this. I feel bad because I’ve got — now that I have a kid, I’m like, now I’m everyone’s parent, right, Jay? I’ve got to be a little careful. I would just hate if anything bad happened because this is like 50-50 like low key could be a horrible idea. But I’ve done it before. But again, I’m a 38-year-old dude, so maybe it’s different. You can also use sites like TaskRabbit to find people to do manual labor on an hourly basis if needed. And I’d like to think that that might be a little bit more vetted, but I highly doubt it. I’m hesitant to have you incur any sort of debt, but bear in mind that many consignment stores and IKEA and other stores like this offer a layaway where you can pay over time. This is more expensive, so I always recommend paying for things upfront wherever possible might not be possible here.[00:27:50] Craigslist also a great way to get free or dirt-cheap furniture. Most of the time you’ll have to pick it up. See our earlier tip about hiring these guys with the truck to go get it. If you got the cheap truck or that truck with the workers, you can send them driving around all over town, grabbing free stuff from Craigslist. That’s still really nice. Still useful, great for a new place. Again, don’t drive to strangers’ home alone. In fact, I would have those guys go and grab it. You can also go yourself, bring a husband or a friend, particularly a guy friend, just so you have peace of mind going into unfamiliar places or strangers’ homes or garages, and then moving furniture into a truck bed. I know it’s 2020. Many people can take care of themselves, but predators want an easy victim in a single female who walks into their apartment as a prime target. I hope some of these suggestions help. I’ve done this sort of thing before years ago, and we just cleaned up. We got more furniture than we could even use after a day of collecting. Again, not our usual Feedback Friday question, but I think what you’re doing is really sweet. Your mom sounds like she’s got endless patience and a very selfless outlook, and she raised a nice daughter so. Also, keep your eye on your email inbox. I’ve got something to help you get off to a running start and you don’t have to pick it up with the truck. [00:28:56] Also, you mentioned struggling with anxiety and depression yourself. A lot of mental illness is genetic. Some are exacerbated by stress. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well. Something like Better Help, a sponsor of the show, betterhelp.com/jordan. You can dip your toe in the waters of therapy. Better Help can help make sure you’re not burning the candle at both ends and getting into dangerous territory. If you’re 20 and you’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, that stuff can get worse throughout your 20s which is kind of a crazy time in anyone’s life. Make sure that you are keeping an eye on that as well, and it’s tempting to just focus on your mom and your husband, but you got to look out for yourself because it’s really hard for other people to do that. Just ask your mom if you want evidence of that. All right, next up.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:29:39] Dear Jordan, I’ve recently discovered your podcast through an interview you did on Darknet Diaries. I’ve been listening to as many episodes as there are hours in the day. I love your insight and approach and would love to ask for some advice. I’m a 30-year-old custodian in a school district just outside of Toronto, Ontario, and have been in this career path for several years. I was recently motivated to obtain my GED and as much don’t have any postsecondary education. I slacked off in high school, which didn’t set me up for a promising future. As you say, I want to dig the well before I’m thirsty. I’ve always had a big interest in computers and technology though, and had been flirting with the idea of going to school for a career in the infosec/cybersecurity industry. My issue is that I have a wife who’s unable to work and my income is just enough to skirt by week to week. I don’t know how I could manage going back to school as well as maintaining this full-time job, which is on the evening shift. Do you have any advice on how I could take the next steps to enter the next phase of my career in life? I’m afraid that not applying myself in high school and waiting so long have left me in a rut. Thanks in advance and all the best to you and yours. Signed, Career-Craving Custodian.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:30:44] Well, you’re never too late for schooling. I normally don’t recommend going back to school as a way to move forward for most people, because I think a lot of times we get trapped in this pattern of, “Oh no, I’m not satisfied with this. I need more schooling and more schooling.” That’s the trap I fell into. “Oh, my undergrads not good enough. I better go to law school. Now, I’ve got $168,000 in debt and I don’t want to be a lawyer.” That’s where I was 10-plus years ago. You’re never too late for school if it makes sense to go back. Trade schools specifically can be good because you’re actually qualified to do a job that might even exist after you get out. Most schools have evening programs if you can switch your shift or they have daytime programs. If you can’t, you might even find that your employer is able to help with this. Who knows? The school district might need cybersecurity, and you might say, “Look, I’ve got an app for this. I know I’m the custodian, but give me a shot.”[00:31:33] Also trade schools are often set up entirely with flexible scheduling or because they know that many or most of the people applying are also working at the same time. Cybersecurity programs are no different. A lot of current IT workers or cybersecurity workers are already working in a job and need a lot of flexibility. In fact. Jason, there’s got to be cybersecurity that’s almost totally online, those certifications, right?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:31:55] Yeah. I found a great list of cybersecurity resources for e-learning that you can use to get started and honestly make sure that that’s what you want to do for starters because I thought I wanted to move into that before, and then I got into podcasting and I’m glad I didn’t go into cybersecurity because it wasn’t a fit for me personally because I didn’t tech work for 20 years at that point, but the link will be in the show notes and the Department of Homeland Security even has free courses, believe it or not. And I recommend taking as many online courses as you can cause a lot of these are free. Then when you want to get your certifications, you’ll have a bunch of the training out of the way and can probably find accelerated courses. And you’ll also know which area you want to focus on because infosec is a really broad field in terms of skill sets. So like Jordan said, cybersecurity is a massively growing field in the figures I’ve read is that they are at 100 percent employment right now. They really need some asses in the seats, to put it bluntly. I tell anyone who’s looking for a long-term career, who likes computers, solving problems, and catching bad guys, it’s totally the field for you. Check out that link in the show notes because there’s a ton of stuff in there. These are 10 different schools where you can go and learn. The Department of Homeland Security has free courses. Start there. Honestly, that’ll get you a leg up and when you’re ready and you can find a place to go and to actually spend your money, I think you’re going to have a leg up.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:33:17] Yeah. It could be painful for a few years for sure, working full time then going to school. I won’t ask why your wife doesn’t work, but obviously, if she could, that would lighten the load. Cybersecurity is one of the best fields to go into right now. Is that not the case, Jason? I feel like we always talk about this. Jobs are plentiful, well-paid. Companies can’t hire quickly enough, right?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:33:34] No. Like I said, 100 percent employment right now, and I swear I thought it was three million jobs in the next 10 years that they’re looking to fill.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:33:41] Yeah, that’s a lot. That’s certainly more than they’re trying to hire lawyers and other professions and other trades. Go register for those classes. Take your time. There’s no need to kill yourself to get the degrees and certifications faster. I think whenever we feel like, “Oh man, I lost so much time. I’m not in the career I want. I screwed around when I was younger. I got to make up for lost time.” We want to hit the gas and do everything all at once and we feel like we got to do everything and get it done yesterday because we feel bad about where we are in life. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Stop beating yourself up for screwing off in high school. What’s done is done. You may or may not have even been as bad as you think, and while you might be angry at yourself for supposedly not fulfilling your potential, you’ve got employment experience now. You’ve got life experience; you’ve got a great relationship hopefully. You’ve got a stable job, you’ve got insurance, you’ve got ambition, and you’ve got the drive to get going on this. You’re not going to get anywhere berating yourself for not measuring up to your own standards that you just decided to apply to yourself recently. Just set new standards and go out there and achieve them. This is very doable and you’ve got a bright future ahead of you once you take some action here. So, take the first steps, get enrolled, don’t feel the need to complete the whole thing as fast as possible. I’m excited for your brother. Welcome to the show. I’m glad you’re a new listener.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:35:02] I read something recently where we look to the past for guidance, not regret, and so I don’t want him to look at what he failed to do in the past, but look at what he failed to do and use that as fuel going forward. I think that’s really going to drive him to where he needs to be.[00:35:19] We’ll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after this.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:35:22] This episode is sponsored in part by Better Help. I love this sponsor. They’ve been around forever. I recommend them all the time. Better Help offers licensed professional counselors who are specialized in issues like depression or stress or anxiety, relationships, sleeping, trauma, anger, family stuff, grief, self-esteem. You name it, there’s somebody specialized in that area, not just a general therapist, and you can connect with your professional counselor and a safe and private online environment. Everything’s obviously confidential. It’s super convenient because it’s all online or on your phone. Get help at your own time, at your own pace. Schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist as needed. And if you don’t like your counselor, just get a new one at any time. There’s no charge for that. They want you to click. It’s a good option, especially if you want to dip your toes in those therapy waters. Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:36:09] it’s a truly affordable option for our listeners, and you can get 10 percent off your first month with a discount code JORDAN. Get started today. Go to betterhelp.com/jordan. Simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you’ll love. That’s betterhelp.com/jordan.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:36:27] This episode is sponsored in part by Heineken 0.0. Heineken 0.0 is an alcohol-free b6eer. You can drink anytime, anywhere. I love how they claim that. Can you pop that open in church? Scriptures got you scratchy, pop open a Heineken 0.0. Feeling parched on the pew. pop open Heineken 0.0. Anyway, it still tastes like Heineken. So, you’ve got that going for you. It’s not like one of those beers that has nothing to do with the beer that is supposed to taste like. Also, it has zero alcohol, not like a little bit but zero and it’s got 69 calories per can. If you want to skip the booze but still enjoy a beer, Heineken 0.0’s got your back. January is a good time for people to start thinking about their resolutions. For me, I’ve made and broken a few of myself already. For many, that means no alcohol for a month. If you’re doing dry January, and even if you’re not, check out Heineken 0.0 and skip the booze this January. Go to januarydrypack.com and save three bucks on your next purchase of Heineken 0.0. That’s januarydrypack.com.[00:37:24] After the show today, you’ll hear a clip from The Adam Carolla Show, also here on PodcastOne. Every day, Adam Corolla is joined by amazing guests as he shares his thoughts on current events, relationships, airport security, specialty pizzas, politics, and anything else he can rant about endlessly here. Most of you have probably heard of Adam before. I’ve been on his show a few times myself. After you check out the post-show clip here, be sure to check out The Adam Carolla Show on PodcastOne, Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening right now.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:37:50] Thank you for supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us going and keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com/deals. Now back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:07] All right, great. What’s next?
Jason DeFillippo: [00:38:09] Hi J-Four. Back in late 2017, there was a lot of speculation around cryptocurrencies which saw a spike in the price of Bitcoin as well as other major cryptocurrencies. For a time, my girlfriend and I were investing in Crypto but put it on pause due to the market flatlining. Over my holiday break I got around to thinking, if we believed in Crypto back then, why shouldn’t we look at it again? What are your thoughts on investing/trading in cryptocurrency now? After the internet bubble, several key players such as Netflix, Amazon, and others emerged and became very investible. Do you think there is any such opportunity now? How should we approach Crypto or should we just sit on our coins for now and see where they end up. Best, Crypto Curious.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:38:51] First of all, 5 percent maximum of your net worth, including real estate that you own. A lot of people will do it the other way. They’ll just take 5 percent of the cash. I mean, 5 percent of your net worth maximum should be in this sort of risky stuff. Not necessarily Crypto, but I mean the crazy moonshot, maybe this will work, maybe it won’t — risky stocks and things like that — don’t have a lottery mindset with this. This is not you accumulating lottery tickets that hopefully later will pay off or break even. This is a massive, massive risk. I know people that have lost millions, and I’m not exaggerating, billions of dollars with Crypto that are very smart. They earned those millions to begin with. They made a bunch of money. They got caught up in this and they lost it. You’re thinking, “Oh, well now everything’s calm. Like we should maybe stay in, stay invested, double down.” Maybe, but don’t have that mindset that now’s the time to buy it cause everything’s cheaper. The last thing you should invest in is this after retirement funds, paying yourself doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest it at all. It just means you got to invest in what you know is going to work. Index funds, retirement funds, real estate, paying yourself, et cetera. Crypto is still up in the air, man. Blockchain as a technology is legit. It will be the basis for future technology, but we’re not sure about currencies like Bitcoin. We just aren’t. In fact, even though Bitcoin seems like, “Wow, it’s so great, it’s all online. It’s on the blockchain.” It’s nowhere near the most efficient way to use the blockchain. It’s the version 1.0. This is Microsoft Windows 3.1. This is MS-DOS. This is going to be improved upon in theory. It’s a good buy right now in theory because a lot of people have it. It’s popular. It’s got enough adoption to actually be worth something for the time being, but we don’t know if that’s really the future. I’ve got Bitcoin. Yeah, it may go up. In fact, it probably will, but we really don’t know. It’s risky and it’s still very, very vulnerable. Of course, when there’s another pop in, the coins go from, I don’t know, whatever they are now at 8,000 they go up to 50,000 yeah, I’m going to sell a bunch of stuff, but before that, don’t even look at it.[00:40:52] Cryptocurrencies are not companies. I know you said, “Oh, but Netflix, Amazon, they emerged after the bubble popped and everything.” That doesn’t mean that since Bitcoin is still around, it’s the Netflix or the Amazon of blockchain. It really does not mean that. Cryptocurrencies are not companies. Things like Bitcoin, they’re not necessarily building value in the same way. Some altcoins, alternative coins outside of Bitcoin, they’re building products. They’re building companies around those, but those could easily be the, I don’t know, spectacular failure of the dot-com era. None are really set to take the world by storm anytime soon. The same can’t be said for Netflix and Amazon. They were offering tangible products and services. They were using the internet. They had a slow burn. They had their ups and downs, but they had a plan. Cryptocurrency is not a company. It doesn’t have a plan. It follows a market, and that market may or may not get disrupted, or be interesting in the future. Blockchain is the same. Blockchain may be in many products in the future, but it’s a technology. It’s not the companies that lay on top. So, this is the difference between saying, well, look at Netflix and look at Amazon. Yeah, they used the internet. If you’re investing in blockchain, you’re investing in, let’s say, the internet. If you’re investing in Bitcoin, you’re not investing in Netflix or Amazon. It’s not the same thing. There’s a key difference here. You have to be very aware of that. Sure. Go ahead. Invest in some Bitcoin, but the idea that we’ll still be using that exact currency in commerce and not something else that’s similar, but maybe more modernized, faster, even more secure, easier to deal with, easier to get in small amounts from one person to another. It’s still pretty far fetched. Only by now if you can afford to lose all of it at any point and you don’t need to access it because you should keep it offline, you should keep it in a secure treasurer wallet, which is a hardware wallet. Don’t leave it on the Coinbase exchange or wherever you buy it. If you invest now, plan to sit on it for at least five years. I’ve got mine. It’s all offline. It’s all secured where I can hold it and it’s not available for somebody to just transfer quickly. I’m holding it until it has a massive spike again if that ever happens or it all fades to black and goes to zero. [00:42:56] So to recap, set a target percentage. Five percent is a good target of net worth. Remember to include real estate. Dollar-cost average in monthly, no matter what the cost. So, what that means, in fact, you can Google dollar-cost averaging, but basically, it means don’t just go and throw 10 grands at Bitcoin and then sit on it. Buy $1,000-worth for 10 months or something like that. It averages the cost. You can Google why this is, but that’s why you invest in index funds. Every time you get a paycheck, not in one lump each year. And then don’t look at the price for three, four, five years, unless Bitcoin is, let’s say over 50 grands. It’s okay to take profits on huge multiple returns, but maybe don’t ever sell it all because I know plenty of people that sold Bitcoin when it hit 30 bucks and you know, they bought it for, I don’t know, quarter or something like that. They’re definitely regretting it. If you hold a little, you’ll feel better about it. Keep the coins herself. Never on an exchange, never online, always on a hardware wallet. There are resources on how to do this in the show notes as well, but yeah, don’t go crazy with this stuff. It’s really easy to get caught up in the fever by a bunch of it and lose your shirt. Last but not least.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:01] Hi J Team. I’m 24 years old, no college degree, and made $110,000 in 2019. I dislike my corporate job even though the money is good and would like to transition into the action sports industry because that’s where my passions lie. The issue is that I can’t be making that type of money in that industry and it won’t be able to buy the home or take the vacations I want. What will be a bigger regret at the end of my life, not working full time in the action sports industry or not making enough money to retire early and own the home I want to raise my family in? What’s more important living the lifestyle you want while going through financial struggles or working a job I hate that provides me all the material items I would want? Thanks so much. Sincerely, Lost and Confused.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:45] Well, this is a tough one, right? Because he’s making pretty good money for somebody who’s 24 with no college degree.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:44:50] No shit.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:44:51] I mean, he’s, once again, kind of proving that for many people, I bet he’s got a sales skill set. We don’t really know what he does here, but I bet you that he’s a salesman and killing it. The problem is, if you’re a salesman and killing it, you got to look at your industry. If you’re selling mortgages. That’s not necessarily something that’s going to translate or be as lucrative later on. You know, how many knuckleheads just absolute morons. We’re making six figures back in the last rush? Tons of them. There are documentaries about this. There are photos of people that I know that didn’t have two brain cells to rub together who are making multiple six figures before the last rush, because you could sell a subprime mortgage for nothing. I know you don’t like your corporate job and the money’s good. You have to balance whether or not that’s going to last a while being 24 that’s going to be tough for you to decide because this is probably his first job. Right, Jason? So, he projecting out from that age is impossible. It’s really hard when you’re 24 to say, “Well, the getting might not be good forever.” That’s a cognitive bias that everyone suffers from. Even now, podcast ads are so hot, it’s never going to go down. Who knows? In a year or two, we could have a recession and I’m the one asking you guys for Bitcoin.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:00] Man, my live journal was really killing it back in ‘97 I’m going to be set for life.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:05] right? Yeah. Oh man, these banner ads I got on my food blog. Yeah. Who knows? It could be like that. At the end of the day, if you have a sales skill set, you can translate to pretty much anything. Money or income as an indicator of happiness drops off after about 60 to 75K. Jason, you know what I’m talking about, right? Where they did that study where they showed people who were making like a million dollars a year.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:46:28] Yeah, the cap was $70,000 but that was about 10 years ago. It needs to be adjusted for inflation. I’m guessing it’s probably closer to 80 now, but yeah, there is a cutoff for happiness and income.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:46:40] Right. What the studies showed was people who made around that amount 60 to 75K back when they did the study. That was people who had said, I am generally happy, generally satisfied. And when you saw income levels way above that, even by multiples of that, their happiness was, it was either the same or very much a just marginal increase and people below that had a drop-off. But anybody at that level or around that level was happy and the income really didn’t make a difference in their level of happiness. So, find what lifestyle you want to live and look at the updated study, I would say. Can you make that much in action sports? That’s your target. Set that as a target. Can you make that much in action sports? You don’t have to make it next year. Can you make it in two or three years? And not just, “Gee, I hope I can.” Find people making that much. Find out what they did to get there and what they’re doing now. Then work with them because you have the best chance of getting that job if you work with them. And also make sure that you know the reality of their job. I’m not sure if he’s trying to be a pro skater or if he’s just trying to work for a team or something like that. You need to make sure that the reality is what you think it is because I think a lot of folks that go, “Oh, I would love to do this.” Suddenly, they’re in the office at Red Bull HQ writing press releases, and they’re like, “Yeah, this isn’t what I had in mind.” They’re not really getting what they need out of the job. They just have another corporate job.[00:48:01] If you can’t make that much, you got to figure out how you can. It’s always worth it, in my opinion, to chase a career that you want. Even if the pay is lower. I’m not saying, “Go for your dreams and money will find — ” That’s baloney. That is garbage. You’ve heard me rag on that all day. I won’t go too deep down that rabbit hole, but it’s always worth it to chase a career that you want, even if the pay is lower. I started doing a podcast and doing trainings instead. I quit my law job to do that. Many of you know that the pay was pretty much jack squat, but since I was in my 20s, I didn’t care. And then I worked and worked and worked and worked. Then when I hit my 30s, we started making a little bit of money and then when I hit 35 it was like, “Oh, that finally worked out.” [00:48:40] At a certain point, the added stress or difficulty of the financial pressure is going to temper any increase or bump in happiness you get from a specific lifestyle. So, let’s say you start working and you love it, but you’re making 24 grand a year. You might be happy at work, but the financial stress and the pressure of not being able to afford the lifestyle that you want and not being able to invest in your retirement, that’s going to temper or buffer any bump in happiness that you get. At the end of the day, you’re 24 right now. Now is the best time to take a risk on a career move. I’m not saying you can’t do it later, but if you fall flat on your butt at age 24, you can get back up easily. You’ve got no kids. You’re not married. You don’t own real estate most likely. Nobody’s expecting you to do X, Y, Z. You might not even have student loans because you didn’t go to college. You can always shift back into a more lucrative career if it still exists if you decide that action sport isn’t for you. As you get older, you get more responsibility. You get a house, you get kids to get married, it becomes a lot harder to make that shift. Take it from me, personal experience talking so. Shift now, while you’re really flexible. Move up the ladder, see if you can find a way to earn enough in your chosen field. Again, try to work with people who are making the level of income in the field that you want. Don’t just blindly sit there putting in hours hoping somebody finds you. That’s like trying to get discovered in Hollywood. [00:49:56] If you can’t make that amount of money, you see no path to it or you just outgrow action sports and get a little disillusioned, double down on it. This happens as you get older, you can always take another path. There’s plenty of corporate jobs, even at companies like let’s say Vans for example, they’re corporate. They pay well, but their action sports adjacent, Red Bull Vans, any of these brands that work with these athletes, keep those in mind. You don’t have to choose between being an insurance salesman or whatever and a pro skater or something you can choose between careers that are more similar or have more exposure to the things you’re interested in. My friend is a sustainability manager in Vans. She loves it. She loves going to the action sports stuff. She’s there all the time. She works for a company that she loves. She works in an environmental sustainability area. That’s what she always wants to do. It’s a great fit for her. I am always an advocate of making the big moves while you’re younger because now is when you have the lowest responsibilities and the highest tolerance for risk. As time goes forward, that inertia gets stronger. “Oh, I’ve got eight years here. I’m going to get promoted to MD soon. I can’t leave now.” This is something I wish I’d known 20 years ago but I didn’t realize it back then. As you get older, it’s much, much harder. You get golden handcuffs, you get more responsibility, or you just get a lower tolerance for risk. You don’t want to switch. Starting over seems impossible. Even with starting the show, it seemed like something that would be impossible for me at age 38 at the time and luckily were able to move forward because of the team, because of the network, because of the skill set and because of you as the audience. But I will tell you, nobody’s going to do it willingly and especially you. So, at age 24, I say, go after it. Just make sure you’re not being irresponsible and make sure you chart your course to a goal of income that will allow you to survive and do what you want. Best of luck, man. Keep in touch. I’d love to hear how this works out for you. [00:51:45] Life Pro Tip from Reddit here, look, as soon as you’re around someone new, introduce yourself. It makes future interactions much less awkward. You seem confident if you do it, and it gets rid of the hardest step in any relationship, which is always the initial interaction. For years as I’ve gone through my life, I used to be like, “Oh, I’m going to wait for the right time to introduce myself.” “Oh, now’s not a good time.” “Oh, well maybe I’ll do it later.” My friends would bring one of their buddies around, or I’d be in a group. I’d sit next to somebody new; I’d start a new gig. I basically found myself avoiding being anywhere near the new person because I was a little shy and I didn’t know what to do and I thought, “Okay, I’ve got to introduce myself later.” Now, it’s not awkward at all. It’s better in the long run. Just go up and introduce yourself at the first opportunity, even if it seems weird, you’re interrupting other people. You can say, “Actually, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jordan.” Just get it out of the way. Trust me. I know this seems like a weird pro tip, but I see so many people doing this. “Hey, do you guys know each other?” “Oh no. Could you introduce me later?” “We just talked for 20 minutes. Why didn’t you introduce yourself?” I get it. I’m an introvert too.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:52:46] You have to make that a habit because I was just like you. I would just avert eye contact and I’m like, “Oh, that’s the new person. I can’t talk to them.” If you just reach out to your hand and go, “Hi, I’m Jason. Nice to meet you.” Boom. Done. It’s over in all of that stress leaves the room. It’s one of those things where I mean, 20 years I dealt with that and it’s such a simple tip that you have to ingrain it and just go, “Hey, you’re the new person. Hi, I’m me. Nice to meet you.” That’s all you have to do. Once that’s done, the ice is broken, the tension is gone, and then you can move about things and that person is probably going to be your best friend for the rest of the day.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:53:19] Yeah, we’ll see. I mean, honestly, I’ve done this wrong for so long. That it set me up really weird in law school. You know, I would be that guy who would just volunteer with somebody for like three hours and I didn’t know who they were and they didn’t know who I was. And then at the end of the trip, it’s like everyone’s going to the bar and I’m like, “Crap, I don’t know anyone.” I’m the weirdo now. People who are used to this in the extroverts, they’re like, “Why is this a tip?” And everyone else who’s kind of an introvert is like, “Oh yeah, probably a good idea.” Or, “Shoot, I know I need to do that, but I haven’t been doing it.”[00:53:50] Recommendation of the Week. Scamalot on Amazon Prime Video. This is so funny. So, this comedian, this weird English guy, his name is James Veitch, he gets all these spam emails from, like, “I have millions of dollars for you. Please reply, I’m having trouble transferring the gold,” all that stuff. He replies to these emails and goes down the rabbit hole and then he’s on the show, which is about five minutes long each episode, he dramatically re-enacts and shows the emails and his readings of it are so funny. This guy’s a riot. He hits reply again and again and again, basically pisses off the scammers to the point where they fire him as a mark. It’s great. We’ll link to it in the show notes. It’s called Scamalot. It’s on Amazon Prime Video. [00:54:32] Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Links to the show notes can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Quick shout out to Cynthia LaChance who came in with some ideas about what to name the audience, one that I’m assuming is not serious, but I kind of like the jazz master’s team might pass on that, but I like where your head’s at. Go back and check out the Megan Phelps-Roper episodes Part One and Two if you haven’t yet. She is just a brilliant soul. I love that conversation. [00:55:00] If you want to know how I managed to book all these amazing people, manage relationships with loads of just fascinating, interesting people that have added a lot of color to my life and a lot of dough to my bottom line. It’s about systems and tiny habits. Check out our Six-Minute Networking course, which is free over at jordanharbinger.com/course. You want to do it later, do it now. Once you need relationships, you’re too late. Dig the well before you get thirsty. These drills take a few minutes a day. Ignore it at your own peril. Again, it’s all free at jordanharbinger.com/course. I’m on Instagram and Twitter at @JordanHarbinger. It’s a great way to engage with the show. Videos of our interviews are at Jordan harbinger.com/youtube. Jason.
Jason DeFillippo: [00:55:37] Check out my tech podcast, Grumpy Old Geeks. We discuss what went wrong on the internet and who’s to blame along with cybersecurity, apps, gadgets, books, and more. That’s Grumpy Old Geeks.
Jordan Harbinger: [00:55:47] This show is created in association with Podcast One. This episode was produced by Jen Harbinger, edited by Jase Sanderson, show notes us for the episode are by Robert Fogarty, music by Evan Viola. Keep sending in those questions to email@example.com. Our advice and opinions and those of our guests are their own. And I’m a lawyer, but I’m not your lawyer. So do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love and even those you don’t. We’ve got lots more in the pipeline. Very excited for 2020 here. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show, so you can live what you listen, and we’ll see you next time.
Adam Carolla: [00:56:23] We have the widest of all things, which is the Veggie Wash. We’re like —
Bryan Bishop: [00:56:28] I don’t even know what this.
Adam Carolla: [00:56:30] Oh my God, pull me up a picture, Max. You know it works because there are drawings of happy vegetables on it.
Gina Grad: [00:56:35] Right, they’re smiling.
Adam Carolla: [00:56:36] So it’s just science but you’re like, wash your apple, then spray it with Veggie Wash, and then you wash it, then you rinse it again and then — Yeah, it’s eight bucks.
Gina Grad: [00:56:47] Sure.
Bryan Bishop: [00:56:48] And then whenever you ever heard like, “Hey, how did Bert’s uncle die? Oh, dirty veggies.
Adam Carolla: [00:56:53] He got hold of an apple. He rinsed it with municipal water.
Bryan Bishop: [00:56:55] No.
Adam Carolla: [00:56:56] Yeah.
Bryan Bishop: [00:56:57] Was he suicidal?
Adam Carolla: [00:56:58] He didn’t make it five feet from the sink. He would write down; he didn’t make it to the pantry.
Bryan Bishop: [00:57:04] He just caved in.
Adam Carolla: [00:57:06] What happened was —
Bryan Bishop: [00:57:07] That’s how Prince died. Wait, we saw Chernobyl, right?
Adam Carolla: [00:57:10] Yeah, he was doing, he was cleaning some pots and he yawned and a little overspray got onto his tongue. It just dropped him like a Nazi war general at the Hague. He just dropped them.
Bryan Bishop [00:57:22] He was two weeks from retiring when he had that apple.
Adam Carolla [00:57:26] No, I told him, you’ve got to go to the mountains and get the stream water. Wait until the glaciers melt. I told him. He wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it.
Bryan Bishop: [00:57:36] That poor man.
Adam Carolla: [00:57:38] The funny thing is it’s about every two and a half months, I just unscrew the cap and I top it off with tap water, the Veggie Wash bottle, and then they screw it back on, and then I set it back just where it was.
Bryan Bishop: [00:57:51] Are you out of your fucking mind?
Adam Carolla: [00:57:53] We’ve been using the same bottle for four years.
Bryan Bishop: [00:57:55] These microphones are on. Dustin, would you cut that out. You better cut this out because the divorce is going to be spectacular. It will be evidence.
Adam Carolla: [00:58:03] Your chance will on the stand and they’ll be like, “Who would you rather be with?” And they will point at mom because like he was trying to poison us for four years.
Bryan Bishop: [00:58:12] With Veggie wash.
Adam Carolla: [00:58:14] That’s not going to ever be confused with the spray —
Gina Grad: [00:58:18] The pesticide.
Adam Carolla: [00:58:18] No, that stuff you use on your clothing.